real name: el chico wetback or Juventino Sotopacheco Jr.  

height: 1 fleet

weight: 0.85 fleets

email: schlubby_chicano@hotmail.com

sign: "i love vampire joe"

favorite food: strawberries

favorite/most influential bands: biggie biggie wu tang woo woo weis dog

date of birth: sometime way before any of us, despite the fact he was in the same grade as all of us

most outstanding physical feature: his sister sabrina

number of ex-girlfriends currently stocking him: zero

political affiliation: burp

marital status: secretive (probably married, but hides her in the hill)

sexual preference: asexual

joined savage pastry: not sure if he ever joined, we just make him sing face

the majority of his sexual fantasies contain: fabes girlfriend, lenny's sister, cookie kepicks, patty long, jolene powell

nonmusical role in savage pastry: has a van we can hypothetically use for a east coast tour with nick's band.

favorite pastime:  burrowing deeper into the west hill

little known fact:  Tino likes the smell of fresh but sod in the morning.