June 10, 1999
Tracy’s eyes snapped open to the sound of her phone. She groaned and reached over to her nightstand and picked it up.
“Hello?” she said still groggy.
“Well hello Miss. Stevens. How are we doing this fine morning?” a deep voice on the other end of the phone said.
“Trying to sleep.”
“It’s 11:00. Didn’t we have some plans today?”
“Sorry AJ I didn’t mean to sleep that long.” Tracy jumped off her bed to find some clothes.
“Oh that’s all right. But there’s a slight change in plans. I have to go to Madison in about two hours and I was wondering if you would maybe meet me out there. Or we can go out there together. I know it’s asking a lot but this is the last chance that I have to see you.”
“Yeah that would be fine as long as I don’t have to travel alone.”
“Great then meet me at my hotel in about an hour. Is that enough time for you?”
“That’s more than enough time.” She assured. She hung up the phone so she could get ready. She ran around frantically cursing to herself about not washing any of her clothes. Finally she found a pair of jeans and a blue tank top. She put her hair up and then grabbed her keys off the kitchen table and walked out the door. It took about a half-hour to get from her house, back to Milwaukee so she thought she would leave now. She pulled into the front of the hotel right on time and AJ came strolling out of the front doors and got inside.
“Hey right on time.” He said as she drove out of the hotel parking lot.
“So what exactly am I doing driving all the way out to Madison for?” she asked.
“All we have to do is sound check and we have the rest of the day to ourselves and I wanted to spend that time with you.”
“I suppose that’s ok.”
AJ managed to find Tracy’s CD case and started flipping through it while making comments about some of the CD’s she owned. He took one of them out and stuck it into the CD player. It was Everclear.
“Probably the only good thing in there.” He joked.
“Oh so you don’t like your own music then huh?”
“Well I hear my music all the time, I don’t need to listen to it too.”
After about another forty-five minutes, Tracy pulled into the back of the Kohl’s Center and they both got out. AJ led her into the building where the rest of the guys were goofing around.
“Hey guys.” AJ said as they walked through the door.
They all turned and said hi and then hi to Tracy. She noticed that Brian gave AJ a concerned look. She was starting to feel a little self-conscious about it because she thought it was something about her being there. AJ shrugged him off and Brian turned his attention back on Nick who was telling him something about the dream that he had the night before.
“All right let’s get this done so we can leave.” Kevin said while walking to the door and looked at Tracy. “Hey Tracy.”
“Hey.” She said back.
They all filed out in door to go out on stage. Tracy went and sat in the front row to watch the guys. They sang a few songs and Kevin ended up going up to the top row on the top balcony to see if he could hear everything from there all right.
“He has to make sure everything is perfect.” Nick said to Tracy. “He gets like that sometimes.”
“Sometimes! All the time!” Brian chimed in.
Tracy laughed. She watched the guys fool around for a little longer and they finally had called it quits. She got up and went back up on stage to meet up with AJ. Before she left she looked around the arena. It was a whole different point of view from up there. As she looked around she imagined all the screaming fans sitting in each and every one of the seats. It was overwhelming. She couldn’t believe that the guys could do that every night. Although by now they were used to it.
“Are you coming?” AJ asked, snapping Tracy out of her thoughts.
“Oh, yeah.” She answered and followed behind him, as he and the guys made their way back outside the building.
Chapter 6
“So where should we go?” AJ asked as they got into her car.
“Well there’s a really nice place to shop just down the road. And there’s a coffee shop there too, you wanna go there first?”
“Yeah that’d be cool.”
She turned out of the parking lot and drove not even 5 blocks down the street. She pulled into an empty parking spot on the end of the street. They both got out and walked into the coffee shop.
“We haven’t really been able to talk to each other one on one at all.” AJ said.
“Yeah I know.” She said, not knowing exactly what she was supposed to say.
They continued talking about their lives and what’s been happening since they last talked to each other which was a very long time ago.
“Yeah I live in a house that my parents bought me. Probably because they didn’t want me to live in some run down apartment. I wouldn’t have minded. They probably also felt guilty about not paying very much attention to me when I was a kid. You know the classic story, rich parents working their butts off, kids at home being raised by the nanny. I have a little brother and I practically raised him myself. When he started talking he called me mommy. It took me forever to get him to realize that I was his sister. They pretty much lived in their office. They even had a small cot rolled away in their closets.” She stopped talking once she realized that she was just rambling on to someone she hardly knew anymore. She barely talked about it with Jade and Angie. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to carry on like that.”
“Oh no, go on.” He said. He actually looked interested in hearing about her screwed up family.
“Well my aunt and uncle in Florida were who I considered my real parents. I talked to them all the time with my problems. They knew me better than my biological parents.” She paused for a minute to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep in his drink. He looked at her with a lot of interest in his eyes. “My real parents are just pretty much my financial supporters so it seams.” She shook her head. “I don’t think they realize that I’m capable of living on my own. You know I don’t even remember the last time I had gotten a hug from either of them.” That’s where she stopped talking. She thought she had really gotten in too deep. She didn’t want him to feel sorry for her. But she found it so easy to talk to him and it felt so good to get all of it out. She was used to not talking about any of it. It was just something that wasn’t anyone’s business but those who were in her family. She wanted it to be part of his business. She didn’t really know why. “I don’t want your pity.” She said after a long silence.
“I’m sorry.” He said without thinking.
“Hey it doesn’t really bother me anymore. All I know is that when I have kids they’re going to know who their mother is and I’m going to read them bedtime stories and everything. Take them to school. I’m going to be a real mother. Not just someone you see maybe once a month during visits at boarding school.”
Now Tracy was getting fed up with herself. She needed to stop telling him things about her family. She made it sound like a bigger deal than it was.
“Why don’t we do a little shopping.” She suggested.
AJ nodded his head and they both stood up from the table and walked back outside. They began walking down the street and stopping in a few stores once they found something they wanted to go into. Tracy was really beginning to grow quite fond of AJ. She was able to tell him things that she couldn’t tell anyone else. It scared her though. She’s had a problem with being able to trust people right away. But was just different with AJ. He listened to everything that she had to say and it didn’t look like he was only pretending to listen either like some of her friends did when she rambled on about nothing. She loved hearing stories about him and the other guys. There was way more to him than she had thought. He was very different from most guys and she admired that deeply. He had a different perspective on things like she did most of the time.
“Hey I have to be getting back.” AJ said while looking at his watch. She looked at hers and saw that it was 6:30. They started heading toward her car, which was a block away. When they reached the car they got in and she took him back to the arena.
“Do you want to stay for the show?” AJ asked.
“No I have to get back home.”
AJ made a sad face. “Well if you must.”
“I must. I’ll talk to you later. All you gotta do is call.” She began to get into her car when AJ walked closer toward her saying,
“There’s one more thing.” He took her arm lightly, pulling her toward him, and kissed her right on the lips. This was no little peck like you’d give to a friend, this was a full on, not to mention long, kiss. Tracy finally pulled away after figuring out that he never would. They looked at each other for a minute.
“I’m sorry.” AJ apologized.
“No. Don’t be.”
He began backing up, not taking his eyes off her. “I’ll call you later I guess.”
Tracy nodded and got into her car and sped away. AJ turned around and began to make his way into the building. He was trying to figure out why exactly he did that. It was like something possessed his body. Like it wasn’t him doing it. But, there was one thing, he was glad he did it. And he liked it. AJ jumped when he saw that Brian was sitting on the steps. He didn’t realize he was sitting there. Had he been there the whole time? And if so, he was in big trouble.
“How long have you been there?” AJ blurted out, hoping not to get the answer he was sure he’d get.
“Long enough.” Brian shook his AJ. “AJ what are you doing?”
“I…I don’t know.” He sat next to Brian and buried his face in his hands.
“Does she know?”
AJ didn’t answer.
“She doesn’t know?” He said it more like a statement than a question.
“No she doesn’t know.” AJ finally answered.
Brian gave out a long sigh and stood up.
“You’re digging your own grave.” He then turned around and went back inside, leaving AJ outside by himself.
Chapter 7
June 11, 1999
“Why do you have that silly grin on your face?” Angie asked after watching Tracy stare into space for the past half-hour while she and Jade were in the pool in Tracy’s back yard.
“What silly grin?” She asked, trying to act like she had no idea what Angie was talking about.
“Oh I know that face.” Jade said with a smirk. “Our little Tracy is in love.” She let out a childish giggle to say she was only half playing around.
“I am not. I don’t know how you would be able to tell that from just one facial expression. And for your information, if I were I would tell you.” She got up and jumped in the pool. When she reached the surface, she heard Jade start talking again.
“Tracy you don’t tell us anything when it comes to guys. We just figure it out on our own.”
“She’s got a point.” Angie chimed in.
“Yeah well you’re wrong.” Tracy said. She swam to the other end of the pool where there was an empty raft and she got on it.
“Ok you’re not in love. But you like someone. And could that someone be a certain person who’s name starts with an A and ends with a J?” Angie asked.
Tracy made her way back on the raft to the deep end where the other two were.
“Oh that’s so cute. Did you kiss…?”
“No!” Tracy said before Angie could even finish the sentence.
“Angie she’s lying through her teeth!” Jade laughed.
“Why is my life the highlight of the day?” Tracy asked.
“Because it’s so cute. And I can also read you like a book and it’s funny watching you try to lie.” Angie answered. “So are you to going to start dating.”
“I doubt it. It’s also a problem with the whole distance thing.”
“That’s true. But hey your aunt and uncle do live down there. We should have a vacation down there like we did when we were seventeen. That was a lot of fun. We could go to the beach.” Jade said.
“That would be cool but who says AJ would want me to go see him?”
“Well even if he doesn’t, which he probably does, it’s Florida, and you haven’t seen your aunt and uncle in a long time.” Said Angie. “And I’d say we all need a vacation.”
“Too bad the guys are still on tour.” Said Tracy. “They just started remember?”
“Yes but you didn’t know that this is only a two month tour. We can go down there at the end of August.”
Tracy agreed as long as her aunt and uncle didn’t mind. Though she knew they would be very happy that they were going to be coming down. They loved having the girls down there. Later that night she called her Aunt Lisa and just as Tracy had predicted, Aunt Lisa was excited that she was going to be able to see her and her friends. Just as Tracy hung up with her, the phone rang. She picked it up again and there was that unforgettable voice on the other end.
“Hey how are you?” he asked.
“I’m good AJ. I’m going down to Orlando at the end of August.”
“Oh that’s great.” She caught a little uncertainty in his voice and she got a little uncomfortable.
“Well yeah I wanted to see my family. You don’t even have to see me if you don’t want to..”
“Oh no no I really want to see you.” He assured her. “I want to see you now. I miss you.”
“It’s only been a day.”
“Yeah, but maybe it was that kiss.” There was a pause.
‘Oh great he brought up the kiss’ she thought to herself.
“Did that mean anything to you?” He asked slowly, hoping she would give him the answer that he wanted.
“Well, yeah it kind of did…why did it mean anything to you?”
“To be honest,” there was a pause and Tracy’s heart sank. “it did.”
She noticed that she hadn’t been breathing and took a deep breath.
“I really hate to cut this short but I have to go to a press conference. I’ll try and call you in a couple days.”
“Ok. Bye.”
She hung up the phone and took yet another deep breath. She looked at Jade and Angie who were trying to figure out what that whole conversation was about. They smiled at her pretty much knowingly, and Tracy smiled back and nodded.
Chapter 8
August 25, 1999
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Brian asked as he watched AJ frantically look for his shoes.
“Yeah I know what I’m doing. Since when are you all up in my personal life?” He wasn’t mad, it was just something that Brian had always stayed out of unless AJ went to him about it. He looked under the couch and found one shoe, but not the other.
“Since this all happened. AJ I don’t want to see you make a big mistake here. This is going to affect more than just yours and her lives.”
“I know.” He pulled out his other shoe out from under a chair across the room.
“Why don’t you keep your shoes in one place?” Brian laughed.
“I don’t know I like challenges?”
He put on his shoes and he and Brian walked out the front door.
“Wish me luck.” AJ said. They walked to their cars and Brian went home, while AJ went to go about his own business.
~*Fifteen Minutes Later*~
“He’s not going to show.” Tracy sighed. She turned around to go back to her car but Jade stopped her.
“No, it’s not even the noon yet.” She assured her. “He’s got five minutes.”
Tracy sat down on the bench next to Angie and Jade sat next to her. They all watched people pass by them, which was always fun to watch because it’s funny to see all the different people and you see odd things when you stop and watch people.
“Why are you guys meeting in a mall anyway? Don’t you think you should go somewhere where there’s a little less people?”
“Well I doubt we’re going to stay here. It’s just a place to meet.” She pulled the car keys out of her purse and gave them to Angie. “Here you can take the car. I’m sure I’ll find my way home.”
“I told you he was going to come.” Jade said pointing straight forward. “If I didn’t know him, I would think that he was some psychopathic killer by the looks of him. Tattoos covering his arms, why am I rambling on? Just slap me next time I do that.”
“Come one let’s go.” Angie said while pulling Jade with her.
“Hey ladies.” AJ said as they passed him. They both said hi and continued walking. “Hey sorry if I’m a little late.” He said to Tracy. “You could say I was having some technical difficulties.”
“Oh that’s alright.” She said while getting up. She gave him a quick hug, trying not to make much of a scene since they were in the public eye. They began walking in the opposite direction AJ had been walking.
“We need to talk.” He finally managed to choke out. “Why don’t we go somewhere else so we can be alone?”
Tracy nodded her head. She was beginning to think something bad was going to happen by the tone of his voice. He seemed really nervous and he was never nervous around her. They walked silently to his car and got in. Now she was really starting to feel uncomfortable. There had never been such a long silence between them before, and she didn’t like it. They drove for about five minutes, to a quiet park, where there weren’t that many people around. He stopped the car and hopped out to open her door. She smiled at that and got out. They walked in silence for another few minutes before they found an empty bench, and sat down.
“Ok AJ you’re really making me feel uncomfortable. What’s wrong?” Tracy finally managed to say.
“Well, there’s something that you need to know.” His eyes met hers and he stopped talking. He seemed to be mesmerized.
“What is it?” she asked. He snapped out of it enough to continue talking.
“Well, you came into my life so fast, and…..and….”
“AJ just say it.”
“I can’t help the way I feel for you.” He gushed. “You’re just so different. You’re just like me in almost every way. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
Tracy could feel herself grow a deep shade of red. No one had ever said anything like that to her before.
“Is that what you wanted to tell me?” she asked slowly. She thought that it was going to be something much worse than that.
AJ hesitated before he gave her his answer. “Well…yes.”
Before she could say another word, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in to kiss her. After a few minutes she pulled away to look at him. She saw worry in his eyes. She stood up and held out her hand for his. He took it and they continued on their walk, talking a little more easy than they had before. She still couldn’t help but notice how different he was acting and how worried she was feeling. She knew something bad was to become of this. They hung around the park for a few more hours and finally he took her back to her aunt and uncle’s house. Before she could open the door, AJ reached for her arm. He gave her yet another kiss and when he pulled away, he said,
“How do you feel about all of this?”
“I honestly don’t know. But I’d like to see where it goes.” She gave him another quick kiss and got out of the car. After he was out of sight, Jade and Angie ran outside.
“Wow. You two are so cute together!” said Angie.
“Talk about tonsil hockey.” Jade added.
“You guys I’m getting a really bad feeling about AJ and I.” Tracy said as they walked inside. “He looks and acts different towards me. And it’s not in a good way. He talks to me and holds me like he’s never going to see me again or something.”
“It’s all in your head. He’s got it bad.” Jade tried to assure her. “Don’t worry about it.”
Chapters 9-13
Chapters 1-4
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