Now, my point here is NOT to explain the basics of the religion. If that's what you're looking for, look elsewhere. i can guarentee you can easily find an appropriate site. However, if you already know about the religion, then maybe this might just work out.

But then i have to think 'am i just being the cynic, the non believer because i'm young and unknowing?' I don't enjoy doubting myself.. It usually gets into one hell of a cycle. Which is right? Is the cynicism right, or should i doubt it? Can you see why i hesitated on my beliefs page?

I've been thinking a lot about the validity of my need for a religion. Is it merely a saftey blanket, something to keep my from having to worry about things? "the goddess will make it all right.." Is that what i'm really looking for? and if it is, what use do i have for a religion. My mom's still around.

Wicca itself can never be precisely right for me. The rules seem too pointless, in some cases. Too likely to be made up to keep our behaviour moral. But as much as i can believe, i believe in the basics. 'An it harm none' is a good rule. But I don't consider it a law of any sort. Its a philosophy, something to live by. But I can envision circumstances where I'd feel justified in not following it. And in those cases, I don't think i'd be too likely to be worried about being a good Wiccan. And the threefold law, which again, has its points, seems too unlikely, impossible.. It feels too close to the christian ruling-through-fear. If you do anything bad, lots of bad shit will happen to you. Otherwise good stuff will. Its too simplified.. It's karma, hypersensitized.

But one thing that won't change, in my mind, i believe, is the balance of the world.. the goddess and the god, light and dark, love and hate. The balance is so visible in everything. Its so important to life. There needs to be life and death, male and female, joy and grief. Sometime's its hard, and sometimes its great. But in the end it all balances out. Just better hope you're on the plus side.

Another thing i believe in is that there is so much power harnessed within our earth. You can see it, feel it, manipulate it. I believe in magick. I believe in the sheer power of the lightning that must precede the thunder i hear crashing around me. And the force of the wind. It's energy, and that energy can be used. It fills me with so much energy, this thunderstorm all around me. And i can feel the power in the trees, and in all life.. and in the stones.. its all around us. If we can learn to manipulate it, yet stay in balance with it, and treat it respectfully... Then we have truly achieved something.

I do believe in the Goddess and the God. Apparently i can't help it. I've actually tried to have faith in nothing, because logic wouldnt allow me to believe in anything. But as much as i hated it, i always felt something around me.. So there is something, i beleive.. the fact that i call that something by Dionysus and Athene.. (god of wine and goddess of wisdom, to simplify.. i like keeping the balance throughout..) it's unimportant. There is a power that surrounds us, though the atheist in me is screaming right now. I believe in something.