All about me
If you're interested who's built that messy site - well that's me. My name is Elffaran, in everyday life I use different name, but that one sounds better to me. I use it a lot when I'm on a net, so if you'll met someone like that that can be me.
Sorry but I don't have right picture of me to put it here, so my words gonna be all you'll see, instead of my always sad face. Maybe that's better for you that you can not see me. I look just like thousands of other girls you pass by on a street without even noticeing their existance. We run in a hurry and not to notice anyone unless we don't need something from that person."You have to be good looking 'cause you're so hard to see" (yeah you're right, that part is from "Come Together", funny but I've never heard original version of that song, even though I'm musical maniac, I don't know about you but I love Michael Jackson's version of that song, you just can hear all that anger about living that way in his voice, other versions are not that powerful.)
If you're read that text so far you should by now understand why I'm trying to built that site even though I don't have silight idea about using html. But I have need to be heard and seen. I'm tried of living inside of schemes which were here before me and gonna last after me. Social schemes fit very well most of peoples, after all we all were brought up inside of them. Maybe you're popular one getting your best from that, but I'm black sheep which never got used to being told how I'm supposed to look like and think like. I can't win that battle, I uderstood so far that all I can do is bring myself down. But I can't change my pattern of thinking as well as I can change other peoples' pattern of thinking. There's just no way out.
Sometimes I feel like my life was planned for me before I could think about it, but after all it could be worst. I'm here in a quite safe country with enough food to eat and enough time to think. Still trying to get used to it, I've almost did, "but everybody knows almost doesn't count" - do you know from which song is that? Good memory for stupid details, is my biggest talent; my biggest regret is that god didn't offer me anything else to survive.
You're almost came to the end, so you deserve a few facts about me - I'm female, still in my twenties, with little perspective to find a good job in a country where to find good job you need to have well situated friends, lots of luck, actually I don't have any of that (lol), instead of that I have cynic sense of humour and I'm almost at the end of my educational path. I also have serious health problems, something which you would never notice if you'd see me. But that makes life hard, simple things are problems for me and people assume I don't even try. Life in a big city ain't easy, people expect you to be able to live as fast as they do. I'm suecidal simetimes and I know it's better not to show it 'cause people only make it worse, you need to feel it to understand it and you probaly don't know how much can be changed by one smile to a person who you always though annoying.
Now you know me better then most of people in my real life so I think that will be enough.