Okay, guys, and it should be MEN ONLY!!!! Let's get one thing straight right now.....women are SMARTER than we are! WE ARE STUPID!!! And I'm going to prove that to you with a simple mathematical formula:

Let me spell it out for you: Man plus Pussy equals Stupid Squared! Yep, that's right! Let me explain it to you this way: You get some. You get dumb!

Before you got it, you had backbone! You stood up for yourself, and didn't let her control you. You were a MAN! After you get it, you want more. But she is the one that possesses it. So to get it, you become weak! She's gains control over you with that powerful weapon that has tried time and time again to destroy civilization! You no longer speak for yourself, she does all your talking and thinking, because she now knows that you're stupid! You become an amoeba! A big bloated blob of jelly that goes in the direction it's pushed in.

Now, you start to see how stupid we get! But this is the DUMBEST part: We're always wanting it! It's like we want to be stupid! We know it makes us stupid, but we want it BAD!!!!

We do ANYTHING to get it: BEG, LIE, and BUY! We'll even fight over it! Many wars have been fought over women! Thousands of men have died in battle over pussy! LOOK AT THIS POWER OVER US!!! WE'LL DIE FOR IT!!! Begging degrades us PATHETICALLY. But we've ALL done it. "Aw, come on, Baby! Can you put out just a little? I promise I won't make a mess!"

That sounds COMPLETELY stupid, huh? Do you know of ANY women that would fall for that line?? But we use it! That's how stupid we get! "Please, Baby, I just wanna stick the head in. I promise I won't go any further! OOPS! I slipped. But I promise I won't make a mess...ah...aha...AHHHHHH!!!!!!" Then the last of our brains just oozed out, we get crossed-eyed and weak-kneed, and roll over like a drooling idiot for an hour.

Here's another example of our stupidity. The woman's in bed asleep, you're watching TV and drinking beer. You get half-drunk, crawl into bed, and start feeling on her, and she starts moaning in her sleep. Then your dick gets hard, so you climb on top of her. Just as you slip in: "ummm...uh...HEY! What are you doing?"(like she doesn't ALREADY know). And you reply "Duh, I don't know!". Hey, we've ALL done that too, haven't we?*nervous look*

We do a LOT of stupid things when we get it. But one of the STUPIDEST things we do is say "I love you"!!! That's when our last brain cells have drained out of our dicks, and we can be declared legally dead!

Scenario: You meet a woman, and go out on a date. Then you can say you like her. That's acceptable. Second date happens. Then comes the tricky part: SEX! Here's what you are SUPPOSED to do. If it's at your place, you should hit it, tell her she was good, and kick her out. If it's at a motel, you should hit it, tell her she was good, and roll over and go to sleep. NEVER, I repeat, NEVER go to her place!!!!! Because if that happens, she already thinks she has control.

But here is what happens in real life. You go out on the second date. During this time is when you start to subtly beg(Hey, we ALL beg, don't deny it!), with heavy flirtation. She knows you want it, and makes you beg more. Then you pull out that trusty line that never fails: "Let me just stick the head in!"

Then what happens is you get some. If that was all, then everything would be fine. But after you get it, the next thing you hear is: "I love you!" That's when she starts BRAINWASHING you! She starts saying it every chance she gets. ESPECIALLY after sex. Because that's when we're EXTREMELY stupid. Our brains have left us. Every last original thought or idea is now between her legs.

She'll keep saying "I love you." over and over. Then DISASTER! One of those times when you're stupid, you're gonna say it! That BAD, BAD word! "LOVE"! Then you've just fucked yourself! Because then she wants to move in, take control of the money, and THROW YOUR BEER OUT!!!! THAT BITCH!!! Oops! Sorry. I got distracted. When that happens, it's like signing over the title to your car, and watching a stranger drive it away, because she's now driving your life! You won't even be allowed to hold the remote to the TV anymore!

Then the WORST thing will happen, she's says the "M" word! Yep. Now's the time to cry like a baby! Bend over and kiss your ass good-bye! Because you're gonna be MARRIED! And you won't even have a choice about it, because you're too stupid. Forget about the bachelor party. Go coffin shopping. Once that ring is on your finger, you are DEAD to the rest of the world. Call me, and I'll play "Taps" at your wedding(I played the trumpet in school).

Well, fellow stupids, before I leave you, let us take a moment to reflect back to that time when we were still smart. That would be between the ages of one to ten years. Before we were three, we took dumps in diapers, and were easily amused by lights and sounds. But we were STILL smart. Not chasing that BEAST that haunts us day and night now. After we were three, we started playing with toys. You remember playing with GI JOE figures, Hot Wheels, and BB guns, don't you? Those were the simple days. Those days of no worries about rent, jobs, and the BIGGEST worry of all: WOMEN! But once we got about eleven or twelve, we started looking at girls, and trying to get them to play "Doctor". See? Even then we got stupid!

I have one final request: If you have experienced ANY form of stupidness, please put Enki's Theory of Relativity on your page:

Thank you.