here's another rant. i suppose all these are gonna be inspired by songs, but these are like what i see in my head by these songs, not like i'm ripping off them.
jimmy's drumwork in the aeroplane flies high (turns left looks right) is godlike.
into the rant.
[(simple guitar) random notes, made sense yesterday on my tape recorder. long bits of nothing happening and slowness, aching to be poked at, prodded up to speed. i have to let it be independent, grow and prosper on its own.]
[set the entity away, allow it to see the world for what it's worth and learn on its own. it's hard to watch it board the streets but it will come back learned and deeper. it has worlds in its mind, scores of millions of volumes waiting to be written and cast into the air. we know they're already written, but they still haven't been in the real world. the words are ghosts on the pages, begging to be seen. its memories, experiences, travelling companions, etc.]
[my thoughts are compelled to drift onward to the night sky. there isn't a city around, so the stars are quite visible. the sky is a navy blue which doesn't exactly help, but the stars are 85% there. they make us cold, the fog nipping unbelievably at our sensitive skin. the fog. so thick and gray, it coats our journey and reassures us that home is only just a bit farther than you can see thru it. we can definitely feel the thoughts of older lovers passing between the bits of gray cloud around us, and i can swear i hear them as the fog envelops my head. "i don't want him to find out about me and his brother." "i hope she didn't find out about the nite i did heroin with my friends outside l.a." "what if he finds me flirting with the guy at the coffee shop?" "what if she finds me flirting with the girl at the coffee shop?" and so on and so forth. a few steps down from belle on the ladder of darwin, they should fall off in a matter of time. their footsteps still echo their loneliness into each other, but we're mere spectators in this scenario of awkward silences and replies that are just half a second too late to be comfortable.]
[don't be left alone with your thoughts if you're upset. i swear to god, you'll only make yourself feel worse. i used to love being by myself. i wouldn't get in any fights, or get ordered to do anything. it was pretty happy, until one day i became frightened of not knowing what my subconscious was thinking. so i'd put on music and play a snowboarding game, coming up with a killer soundtrack to going down hills, until i found a reason to be less alone. now, loneliness is frightening. the silence is so completely loud. it bangs into my eardrums, reminding me of nothing but empty space, floating into a pulsing rhythm, amongst...the stars.]