| to Bekah |
a neverending story
in a continuous loop
of two-sided ribbon
one him, one you
sharing turns
back to back
one taking defensive
one leading attack
ferocious red rope
of glittering hope
a mirror can show
what the other side knows
two sides, two lives
two twisted knots
one can exist
while the other cannot.
| absorb |
messages whispered into my ear
with importance, respect, or philosophy
tighter and tighter the drifter falls
drawn so slowly to the lies
photographs yellowed in passing years
to the floor, so naked and cold |
| the mourning |
clutter makes my heart grow stronger
jumbled and unfettered my soul wanders
let it pace, let it circle
pull hair loose, kick under tables
prick perfection, watch it bleed
mindless wardrobe of disguises
gems and stones, clothed so differently
adjust and refit, set into walls
excellence in towers unstable
one stone moved topples a city
no more than four men can fix it
somehow.
| Toothless |
roots from the dirt won't listen
people rushing to my ear
make my damp hair bristle
evaporating lonely fear
shoots from seeds push back the layer
open their eyes to glittering shine
answer mine with a lonely prayer
the leaves creep forward like zombie eyes
small twigs snap beneath my step
I raise the ash with a gentle hand
thrown to the window and in crept
the shadow the likeness of a man
how close to the creepers grow
and when, my friends, you gather
the darkness of the murky brown
shall suffocate to suffer
it always seems to rain at night
and when I smell the leaves' decay
the world ceases its endless flight
the water swallows up the rain
| LookinGlass |
floating in muddy bubble bath
drowning the sweetened truth
pinching the aftershock of spring
while winter is in my heart
stomping over icy pavement
rising from slush an afterthought
after grasping air for a steady hand
and tearing at your sleeves
despairing as my bones swell
and my skin peels free again
hospital sheets suffocate my ears
lead me to believe in light
Novacained and drugged to death
after scratching out the bedposts
and pulled from screaming life
tread of heels, print of toes
proceeds my intended step
a presumed insolent follower
drags my carcass forward
head drawn to my knees from
a hundred two feet above
scattering ashes and petals pink
a tear upon my grave
| Hot tears |
relentless hands
pushing and pulling the air around me
in my ears and from my skin
the shifts serve to drown me
what are you doing right now?
Thinking about me
or dreaming of gorgeous blondes
with perky tits and blank stares
because that's all you want from them right now?
I'm not used and I'm not broken
but neither am I broken in
coiled tight around my belly, a chain
waiting to be stretched
I don't want to be taken
only given
and it's not horny, it's lonely
patience is a virtue I know too well
so go fuck the blond.
I don't even mind, just don't
tell me about how good she was
I don't deserve to know.
| as of yet |
delicate patterns
honeysuckle and lace
stained by memories
that drop from my face
a comfortable yellow
ridden with knots
bends me together
tears me apart
spiral slowly pattern
contrast light from sun
now my mind will rattle
and claim him for its own
his gangly fingers
his gaunt cheekbones
sing my soul's soul
and echo his own
the melting of hot sweat
the sinking of pores
awake with a quick pant
to strangle the whores
spiral slowly pattern
contrast light from sun
now my mind will rattle
and claim him for its own
| The aftermath beforehand |
|
ashamed and awkward cautious, desperate flattered or belittled alive and unsure envious, lonely alluring or sisterly
Playing footsy under the sheets |
| ...Thusly... |
|
| Seams & Pores |
degree to degree
folded ears, whistling speakers
Home alone and undressed
- I missed this,
- simple freedoms --
- a working mom, my own cat
- on my bed
- Soft music curing romantic stressed headaches
No more crying, no more smiles
- A whole me on a half-made bed
- my bed, no one else's
- Oh, screw kindergarten lessons,
- I only share what I want.
- Always ghosts here.
- Sleep, rest, relax, lie down.
- You can't wake me now, spirits,
- this is my afternoon.
- I can blow you off, your voices
- fuck with me like
- he
- he used to try. Smelled like soap
- in public bathrooms.
- But you, now, you're clean.
- Like Windex or linoleum
- We've had all of this before, all that we wanted --
- candles, condoms, roses, wrenches.
- Maybe you should drop her title
- Drop the capital letter, the x
- Burn the fragments but don't bother to trash them.
- Let them lie.
- If you need to remember, keep.
- Pain. I need it. My muscles
- hadn't done that enough.
- My throat stretched to accept you,
- to hear myself talk to you.
- I sang with her, you let me, and
- we all belted the lyrics.
- For once I can wait for you. I can accept sexlessness.
- So can I
- (Conversations.)