This all happened a long time ago when I was 16. I was There At the Library (for some reason there was a sign that said "Welcome to Paradise" even though some hoodlums changed paradise to hell :-) trying to get a little Knowledge in my head and an answer to the infamous question that No One Knows the answer to: Who Wrote Holden Caulfield?? it seemed like I’d been there for almost 1000 hours and by that time I needed a Rest. I decided I needed to get the hell outta there so I called my friend Suzi.

She wasn't home. So I paged her. about 80 years later, She called me back. Suzi's odd, she's The Judge's Daughter so usually she's the good one.

Well, actually, we both used to be silly little Brats. But now we have No Pride, we're Burnout’s , and we're Chumps. Oh well, we were Sweet Children, could we help it?! NO!!

We talked a little while about boredom, and I told her I need to start Coming Clean: I wanted outta that hell hole.

"Let's go for a ride," I said.

"Uhh, ok." was her reply.

"Where are you??" I asked.

"Hmm," said Suzi, "well, I think I’m at the corner of Stuart and the Ave., where are you??"

"Damn!! I’m way over here at Christie Road and the Road to Acceptance!!"

"Well, what are we gonna do!? am I gonna haft go Hitchin a Ride!?" Suzi shrieked, "Don't Leave Me here, I’ll die of boredom!!"

"ok," I said, "I have an idea: we're Going to Pasalacqua"

At least, we were going away!! And to of all places Pasalacqua!! It's so rad there, fine guys, good music, all sortsa fun shit. So we hopped in my ratty old car and headed for the bus depot over on Tight Wad Hill. I think the lady in the ticket booth had been drinkin' a little "Private Ale" if ya know what I mean cuz when we handed her our $86 she asked us what movie we wanted to see. Crazy old broad's scare me.

"Uh, I think so" was her reply. If you knew Suzi, you'd know how silly she sounds when she says things like that. So we were walking and we saw our bus stop. There was a Westbound Sign pointing towards the bus. So we hopped on and we were on our way to have some fun.

"Hey," we said.

"Hey yourself :-)" he replied

"Well, I’m Sarah and this is Suzi"

"Hey, it's nice to meet you two. I’m Adam, but everyone calls me the Disappearing Boy and this is my friend J.A.R." he told us.

"That's rad" Suzi said. that was one of her little catch-phrases. So J.A.R took of his headphones and started talking some weird language, Adam says he does that a lot when he first wakes up. Adam looked a little like an Android and J.A.R looked like One for the Razorbacks (our school football team, those guys are HUGE!!)since J.A.R just woke up, he kinda had kind of a Geek Stink Breath thing happening. It was icky. And even worse, he was being The Grouch if I’ve ever seen one.

So we asked the guys why they were headed to Pasalacqua and that's when things got a little complicated. See, they weren't going to Pasalacqua, they were going to Strangeland. So Suzi and I freaked and a Panic Song entered my head.

Suzi and I looked at each other, and then at the guys. We both knew what we were gonna do about it.

At the first rest stop, I took Suzi aside and said "whadda ya think of the guys??"

"Ohmigod!! I am like SOOOO in love with J.A.R!!!"

"Oh god, are you serious?! Why do you want Him??"

"I dunno," Suzi said, "he's just so cute!!"

"Suzi!!" I exclaimed, "he's a Basketcase!! and just a LITTLE Scattered brained!!"

"I don't care, he's HOT!!"

And so we asked: "What on earth is that!?"

It's some Paper Lanterns ... like em??"

"Whoa!! Those are rad!!" I said.

"Where'd you learn to make those??" asked Suzi.

"at Bab's Uvual Alkhensd. It's a German place."

"Bab's Uvula Who??" we both said.

"Alkhensed" Adam replied.

"Uhh ya, umm, isn’t that a little Redundant?? OK, anyways, so uh, like, whadda you guys like to do for fun??" Suzi asked.

"Well," J.A.R said, "I like to mosh and skank, ya, I like to skank, my friend does to. ya, Armatage Shanks, no, wait, he SKANKS. Oh well, he's not here so nevermind what he does."

So we all sat and talked until we got to Strangeland, and that's when we saw it: it was The Best Thing in Town, it was a theme park!! JUST what we wanted to do!!

Somehow, we ended up in this plant show thingy. Actually, it was kinda cool, it reminded me of some sort of wacky music video. There was Dry Ice all over the place. But I think the weirdest thing we saw there was the rare Emenius Sleepus plant. Hehe, Adam said it was like when someone puts 409 in your Coffeemaker.

That was a weird thing to say, but I mean, look who we're talking about, that was Adam.

Suzi and J.A.R went walking and talking, they really were cute together, and J.A.R turned to Suzi and said "You are The one I want."

"Ohmigod, this is amazing, I’ve been thinking the same thing all day long I’ve been thinking Only of You!! We were thinking the same thing All The Time!!"

AT LAST!! Those two finally got together!! I will admit, for a basketcase, J.A.R sure is sweet.

Adam and I kept walking around and we found a supernatural lady, her name was Haushinka who was Pulling Teeth out of an Prosthetic Platypus Head so she could use it in her Brain Stew, she CLAIMED it was an aphrodisiac (HA!!) and she sprayed Adam with it!!

"In My Generation we would have been overjoyed to be sprayed with a love serum like this!!" the lady said with a heavy accent.

"Well," Adam said, "now you're Stuck with Me :-)" After that he proceeded to shout out "I am King for a Day!!" God, he was weird.

"hehe, ok."

now, Take Back to Suzi and J.A.R, it was so cute, they were holding hands and laughing, just like any two NORMAL people (normal!? yea right!!) and I guess some guy started hitting on Suzi so J.A.R. told the freak to FOD. Suzi freaked a little and said to J.A.R "I want to be Alone."

Poor J.A.R, I think he thought he did something wrong to upset Suzi.

So Suzi found Adam and me first so I went off to talk to Suzi as soon as J.A.R found Adam. The girls went one way to talk and the guys went the other.

"Suzi, what's wrong!? I thought you two were getting along great??"

"We were," Suzi said, "but, I was so Uptight I think I said some Words I might have Ate I was a damn Jinx"

"Huh??" I was confused at this point.

"I think I got my foot caught in my mouth again."

"Huh!?!" I said AGAIN. I was REALLY confused now. "Don't be such a Worry Rock"

"I think he thinks I’m a Reject"

"Aww c'mon, it couldn't be that bad!!"

After I convinced Suzi J.A.R still liked her and that she WASN'T a Walking Contradiction, we found the guys and by then it was time to get back on the bus and head home, because it was the Last Ride In.

We sat on the bus, I had a Longview of the park as we were leaving, it was beautiful at sunset. We were all a little Jaded after such a big day that Adam fell asleep and I was drifting out of consciousness when I heard J.A.R and Suzi talking: "We have to call each other everyday. and When I Come Around near your house, I’ll come visit. cool??" J.A.R said.

"Totally, I’d die if you didn't." Suzi said as she kissed him.

So In The End all worked out for the best and that just goes to show you Nice Guys Finish Last, not this time anyways. And to that I say Good Riddance