Lyrics:    Be my yoko ono, Blame it on me, Box set, Brian Wilson, Crazy, Enid, Grade 9, Hello city, I love you, If I had 1000000, New kid on the block, The flag, The king of bedside manor, What a good boy, Wrap your arms around me.


Be my yoko ono
If there's someone you can live without, then do so
If there's someone you can just shove out, then do so

(chorus)
You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono

Isn't it beautiful to see two people so much in love
Barenaked as two virgins hand in hand and hand in hand in glove
Now that I'm far away it doesn't seem to me to be such a pain
To have you hanging off my ankle like some ball and chain

(chorus)

Oh no, here we go
Our life is just one big pun
Ono, here we go as Yoko sings
Aieee!

I know that when I say this
I might be stepping on pins and needles
But I don't like all these people slagging her
For breaking up the Beatles
(Don't blame it on Yokey)
If I was John and you were Yoko
I would gladly give up musical genius
Just to have you as my very own
Personal Venus

(Hit it)

(chorus) 


 
Blame it on me
Here we are again, and we're looking at each other
As if each other were to blame
You think you're so smart, but I've seen you naked
And I'll probably see you naked again
Milli Vanilli told you to blame it on on the rain,
But if you blame it on the rain, tell me what can be gained
If all else fails, you can blame it on me.

(chorus)
If all else fails, you can blame it on me.
If all else fails, blame it on me.
If all else fails, you can blame it on me.

Well here we are again, and you're looking at me
Like there's something I'm supposed to say
Forgive me Father, but I've fallen in love
And that's all I have for confession today
Maybe if you asked me on any other given day
I wouldn't have time for you and the games that you play,
But it's all right now, you can blame it on me.

(chorus)

Yes, dear, I love you,
But sometimes I think that love's not enough for you
So you want to play mind games
Well that's fine, go ahead; la la la, I can't hear you

Well here we are and you're a hundred thousand miles away
They say that absence makes the heart grow fungus
I wax poetic while you're waxing your legs
And you say you think there's a traitor among us
If all else fails, you can blame it on me.

(chorus)


 
Box Set
I never thought that you would
Love me the way that you do.
I never thought that you would
Love me half as much as I do.
You say you want to know
Everything about me -- well here you go,
Buf if you want it girl, you got it;
It's all right here in my box set.

I never thought that words like
Product would ever leave my libs,
But something happened to me
Somewhere that made me lose my grip.
Maybe it's a lack of inspiration
That makes me stoop,
Or maybe it's a lack of
Renumeration; I can't recoup.
But if you want it, folks, you got it;
It's all right here in my box set.

Disc One
It's where we've begun, it's all my greatest hits,
And if you are a fan then you know that you've
already got 'em

Disc Two
It was all brand new, and album's worth of songs,
but we had to leave the whole disc blank because
Some other label bought 'em

Disc Three
This is really me in a grade school play,
I had about a hundred thousand lines, but of course
I forgot 'em

I never thought there'd be days like this,
There was always someone at my door.
I never thought I would ever miss,
And the crowd would always holler for more.
But now it seems all that people want
Is what I used to be
And every time I try to do something new,
All they want is 1973.

I never thought I'd be regretful
Of all my past success
But some stupid number one hit single
Has got me in this mess.
You can put it on every compilation -- that's alright.
You can hear it on the oldies radio station every night.
And if you want it again, you got it --
It's right here in my box set.

Disc Four
Never released before,
And you can tell why;
It's just some demos
I recorded in my basement.

Disc Five
I was barely alive,
I was coughing up a lung
So they had to use
A special computer as my replacement.

Disc Six
A dance remix,
So I can catch the latest trend
And it'll make you scratch your head
And wonder where my taste went.

So now my fans are crying sellout,
They say I've lost my touch
They say I should just get the hell out
Before I do too much.
Hear my songs in an ad for a bathroom cleanser --
They say it's greed,
And now I'm wondering where my friends are
In this time of need.
But if you change your mind and buy it,
I hope you enjoy my new box set.


 
Brian Wilson
Drove downtown in the rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane
When i'm surrounded i just can't stop

It's a matter of instinct, It's a matter of conditioning,
It's a matter of fact
You can call me Pavlov's dog
Ring a bell and i'll salivate -- how'd you like that
Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue
'Cause right now i'm

(chorus)
Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well i'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did

So i'm lying here
Just staring at the ceiling tiles
And i'm thinking about what to think about
Just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile
And i'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought
Because i'm

(chorus)

And if you want to find me i'll be
Aut in the sandbox
Wondering where all the hell all the
Love has gone
Playing my guitar and building castles in the sun
And singing "Fun Fun Fun"

(chorus)

I had a dream
That i was three hundred pounds
And though i was very heavy
I floated til i couldn't see the ground
I floated til i couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, i couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, i couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me because i'm

(chorus)

Drove downtown in the rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive call it compulsive call it insane
When i'm surrounded i just can't stop


 
Crazy
I climb the walls of my mind just
Like I'm climbing on a jungle gym
I am more than content with
The state of mind I am in
'Cause I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.
I don't think I need a rubber room,
But hey, that might be nice.
I'm not a manic depressive,
Paranoid or schizophrenic so
I don't need your advice.
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.

The lights are on but nobody's home.
My elevator doesn't go to the top.
I'm not playing with a full deck.
I've lost my marbles.
The lights are on but nobody's home.
My elevator doesn't go to the top.
I'm not playing with a full deck.
I've lost my marbles.

I'm a few bricks short of a load
But a full load always hurt my back.
I flew over the cuckoo's nest and
I'm never ever coming back because
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy.


 
Enid
"The silence, the terror, the pain, the horror
As your mom comes downstairs"

Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Enid we never really knew each other anyway

It took me a year to believe it was over
And it took me two more to get over the loss.
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters
And every time I remembered the taste of your lipgloss.

(chorus)
Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But Enid we really never knew each other anyway

There were times when I wanted to hurt you ,
And there were times when I know that I did.
There were times when I thought I would kill you,
But can you blame me I was only a kid.

Tell me why we never really respected each other
And tell me why I never believed you were a person too
I always thought that you fancied my brother.
I may not have liked it, oh but memory is a stranage thing, oh
And Enid? Enid I remember you.

(chorus)

It took me a year to believe it was over,
And it took me two more to get over the loss.
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters,
And every time you told me to get lost.

Now it's not fair to say that it's 'cause I was three inches shorter then,
And it's not fair to say it's 'cause I was only fifteen years old.
But maybe it's fair to say there was a lack of communication;
I took a phone message, oh and speaking of communication, oh,
And Enid, Enid you caught a cold.

I can get a job, I can pay the phone bills
I can cut the lawn, cut my hair, cut out my cholesterol
I can work overtime, I can work in a mine
I can do it all for you,
But I don't want to.

(chorus)

(Ed)
I can teach you how to dance, how to sing, how to knit,
How to make things that you never ever made before
Enid, I can teach you how to use cookie cutters
To make crazy things out of Play-Doh

Little houses, little farms, little accessories for your mom,
For your Barbie set, for your friends and your family
Enid, I can teach you how to snowmobile, cross-country ski, snowshoe,
But I don't want to!

(Andrew)
I took you dancing, paid for your nightschool.


 
Grade 9
I found my locker and I found my classes
Lost my lunch and I broke my glasses
That guy is huge! That girl is wailin'!
First day of school and I'm already failing

(chorus)
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine

I've got a blue-and-red Adidas bag and a humongous binder
I'm trying my best not to look like a minor niner
I went out for the football team to prove that I'm a man
I guess I shouldn't tell them that I like Duran Duran

(chorus)

Well half my friends are crazy and the others are depressed
And none of them can help me study for my math test
Got into the classroom and my knowledge was gone
Guess I should've studied instead of watching Wrath of Khan

(chorus)

They called me chicken legs
They called me four-eyes
They called me fatso
They called me buckwheat
They called me Eddie

(chorus)

I've got a red leather tie and a pair of rugger pants
I put them on and I went to the high school dance
Dad said I have to be home by eleven
Aw man I'm gonna miss Stairway to Heaven

(chorus)


 
Hello City
Hello city....

Another night at the palace, 'cause there is nothing else to do.
The same people, the same drinks and
The same music, the same quicksand.
I think this harbor town is waist deep and sinking fast.

(chorus)
Hello city, you've found an enemy in me.
Hello city, hello city.

Second night at the warehouse, and my mock turtleneck just reeks.
From the liquor room to the changeroom
To the doom and gloom of the hotel room,
I wish this seaside beerhall would sink into the bay.

(chorus)

Maybe i caught you at a bad time,
Maybe i should call you back next week,
Maybe half the fault was mine that the sun didn't shine
On barrington street.

It's three o'clock in the morning, and i'm hungry so let's eat.
Climb down three flights to the streetlights
And the barfights, we're just taking in the sights.
I hope tomorrow that i wake up in my own bed.

(chorus)

"what a good place to be, don't believe them,
'Cause they speak a different language
And it's never been happy for me.
It's Happy Hour again."

Hello city, hello city.


 
I love you
I love you
And you love me
I love you
So let's make a family tree.

I like soup, and I like ice cream sandwiches too.
I like fish sticks, but I love you.
You don't believe me,
You say all I think about's myself.
Let me explain, don't walk away.

I love me
You love you
I love me
So what are we to do?

How would you know, that I love you so?
I don't say too much.
Why are you blue whenever I'm in town?
I guess life was fine till I came 'round.

You've given me a start, I ain't no
doctor but just take a look at the
chart for my heart like a dart from the
start I'm coming down with something good.
It ain't no fever or flu, doctor says it
had to be someone
with brown hair and blue eyes, I'm
lovesick for you I realize.

I's loves you
And youse loves me
I's loves you
So let's make a family tree.

How would you know, that I love you so?
I don't say too much.
Why are you blue whenever I'm in town?
I guess life was fine till I came 'round.


 
If I had 1000000
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car
(a nice Reliant automobile)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I had $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had $1000000
Maybe we could put a refrigerator in there
Wouldn't that be fabulous

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat
(but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Like a llama or an emu)
If I had $1000000
(if I had $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(All them crazy elephant bones)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I had $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more.
If I had $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would. We'd actually make the treefort from the
first chorus out of it. Mmm.

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress
(but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art
(a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey
(haven't you always wanted a monkey?)

If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
I'd be rich.


 
New kid on the block
I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sore.
'Cause you can see my face in the window of every store.
You can buy my lunchbox, and you can wear my clothes,
You can remember my name just as plain as the face under your nose.

I'm a New Kid on the Block,
'Though I may not be Johann Sebastian Bach.
So we may not write the songs we sing,
But look at Elvis, he sold his soul and you crowned him King.

I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sad,
You see, I've got everything that I always wished I had.
I thank my managers and I thank the screaming girls,
I thank my hairdresser for giving me such beautiful curls.

Now I'm a New Kid on the Block,
Well, I'm twenty-three and they won't let me grow up.
I went down, to register for the draft,
Well I got up to the counter and the lady there just laughed.

She said, "You're a New Kid on the Block,
Young girls scream and old boys mock,
Well you broke my youngest daughter's heart.
I knew you Kids were trouble from the start."

I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sure,
That we're as apple pie as you always thought we were.
I can stay up all night. I can have a blast.
I can breakdance, I can fight, I can kick your sorry ass.
I'm a New Kid on the Block,
And 'though I may not be Johann Sebastian Bach,
There's no need to be afraid of us
'Though it just might be your daughter on our bus.


 
The Flag
The phone rings, it's early, it's seven o'clock,
He says, "Sorry I woke you, but I just had to talk.
You know last night, remember, when I tried to choke you?
I didn't mean it, I was drunk, it was only a joke."
You should know that by now,
When the chequered flag comes down,
No one, no one, no one has won the race.

The next night he's over and over and under
And after he's finished she lies there and wonders
Just why does she need him, and why does she stay here,
And then in the darkness, he'll quietly say, "Dear,
You've never really known.
That when the white flag is flown,
No one, no one, no one has won the war."

They're complicated people leading complicated lives,
And he complicates their problems by telling complicated lies.
He tells her he's sorry. She tells him, "It's over."
He tells her he's sorry. She says, over and over,
"You've never really known,
That when the white flag is flown,
No one, no one, no one has won the war."

There goes a forest and there goes a bluebird
There goes a partridge and there goes a Go Train
There goes an angel and there goes a steeple
There goes a cop car and there goes an eagle
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons
There goes a raven and there go...
The ribbons, the ribbons, the ribbons...
The ribbons of the flag.


 
The king of bedside manor
You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared
He's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet

(chorus)
You know he's not the king of bedside manor
He's not the Tom Jones who lives next door
He's not the king of bedside manor
He hardly even lives there any more

He says excuse me i hope you don't mind that i followed you into this shop
But i couldn't help noticing that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack
Well, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback

He's subtle on the dance floor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quick draw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star
You know he was quite a singer quite An actor quite some time ago
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime TV show

(chorus)

Well, he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain

(chorus)

He's not the king of bedside manor
He's not the king of bedside manor
Hardly even lives there any more

Domo arigato Mr. Roboto

He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king
Of bedside manor


 
What a good boy
When I was born they looked at me and said
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
And when you were born they looked at you and said
What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl

We've got these chains that hang around our necks
People want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls we just look away

(chorus)
This name is the hairshirt I wear
And this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair
This song is the cross that I bear
Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me
Be with me tonight
I know that it isn't right
But be with me tonight

I go to school, I write exams
If I pass, if I fail, if I drop out, does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget
'Cause it won't take much for me to show that my life ain't over yet

I wake up scared, I wake up strange
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
And everything around me stays the same

(chorus)

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong
Chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song
I couldn't tell you that you were right
So instead I looked in the mirror watched tv laid awake all night

We've got these chains that hang around our necks
People want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls....

(chorus)

When I was born they looked at me and said
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
And when you were born they looked at you and said
What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey


 
Wrap your arms around me
I concede that you were right about this place
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace
I can hold you til you turn out the light
And I can't see

Do you believe that we are all innately good
Do you think that you would love me until tomorrow if you could
Won't you please turn down the radio
So we can speak

I put my hands around your neck
You wrap your arms around me
I put my hands around your neck
You wrap your arms around me
I put my hands around your neck
You wrap your arms around me

I regret every time I raised my voice
And it wouldn't be that bright of me to say I had no choice
I can kiss your eyes your hair your neck
Until we forget

I concede that you were right about this place
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace
I can hold you til you turn out the light
And I can't see
I can't see