Solarium

the arrows pointed in circles
the dark walls closed in on me
in my oblivion the tears come
my feet are tangled in the sterility of the hall
closed doors laugh haughtily at me
locked mind safes entrap me again
frozen in pride
broken promises drown my subconcious
locked
                    locked
                                      all escapes are locked
the glass door calls out for me 
it's light spills onto the floor
tears of pain no longer stain my face
tears of joy fill the chasms
my fear is erased
the light partakes of me
my memory is infiltrated with the florescent glow of my solace
solarium

daddy, you have to pull through

chilled hands shivered slightly
his body swelled in the anguish
i collapsed
the pressure unbearable
lightly
                       lightly
                                         ever so slightly
i surrender to your arms
secure in your omnipotent love
keep me protected
maintain your support
never leave me

Reality

everyday reality hits me in the face
"where am i to go today?"
"what am i supposed to do tomorrow?" it asks
i can't ever answer 
my mind goes numb
reality is a cruel master 
allows me no breathing room
a heavy handed mistress that is impossible to please
an overdemanding father with high standards of decorum
a fountain of blood that drips on me ever so slightly
stains the white gloves i've worn
reality wants nothing or everything
it never asks for my opinion or feelings
it invades my sleep
and breaks my expectations
it drives a hard bargain
and tramples my plans like dirt
reality begs for reverance but rarely gets it whole hearted
reality is a soldier inside us all
only the few care enough to train him
reality is the voice that screams inside us when we know we've stumbled
it's the priest we confess our trangressions to
the drill sargent we despise
the teacher we cannot stomach
and the song we won't listen to anymore
reality is you