rant, but no rave

Jacor Ate My Radio

9/3/98

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh...

now that 92.5 has been bought out by Jacor, or Leased, or whatever the hell it is, what the fuck am I going to listen to? 91suX is playing on the radio and I can't pay attention at all to the same goddamn songs played over and over and over again...it's like something out of a clockwork orange...these songs that I used to love are now making me sick.

Own the media and you own the people. Wasn't that something Hearst said before he stopped clipping his toenails and had a brilliant idea for a plane that could land on water? Jacor now owns or leases 44% of the San Diego radio market. They are homogenizing my brain as their stations begin to cross over and play a little more of the other stations...do they own a country station? I would love to hear Tool in between Dolly Parton and Waylon Jennings.

For those of you who don't know, Tool is a band. I'm sick, but not that sick.

So now one of my great joys, listening to the radio, is gone. Bust out the CD's. Pop on NPR. Maybe a little sports talk. That's the one thing they can't ruin, sports talk. Jim Rome will always be an asshole, and I'll love every minute of it.

I have a page I'm putting together with designs for anti-jacor propaganda. These are free for distribution. Take a look.

New Housing...Blessing or Curse?

8/18/98

A little more than a year ago I lost my job as a highly paid video game tester when the company I was working for lost their main client, Corel. At the time I was living with my best friend in the neighborhood I grew up in, Tierransanta. Yes, the island in the hills. Yes, the place where they sell more "I'd rather by shopping at Nordstrom" license plate holders than anywhere in the world (with the exception of Zimbabwe...they love Nordstrom there.)

but I digress...

I didn't have the money to pay rent. This forced me to do something I despised, something I never wanted to do again; move in with my parents. Which logically isn't TOO bad, y'know, at least I didn't have to move into the Sports section of the UT off of 10th Street. Problem was, this was like the 8 is Enough house. Listed alphabetically for ease of viewing:

Some of you rednecks might not approve of my alphabetizing prowess, but then again "Dad" in my world isn't spelled "Pa."

So I've lived in this huge house with people always running around, dogs barking, someone always yelling, "Where's the damn turtle?" and plenty of food in the house. Oh, and the house was in Santee. If El Cajon is the armpit of San Diego, then Santee is the hair coming out of that armpit.

All I wanted to do was get out of the house. I found another job. I started saving money. I found a roomate. And finally, after 4 months of scouring San Diego, home of the 3% rental vacancy, we finally found a place.

My roomate Joe and I are now proud residents of Golden Hills, the area just east of Downtown San Diego. 3 BR, 1 BA, big yard, freshly painted, new tile, trees, etc., etc. No smoking or pets.

of course I smoke and Joe has a dog, but don't tell anyone

So now I'm living in this house, and every time I walk in I'm still surprised that it's mine. The kitchen's huge and I've been doing a bunch of cooking. I'm keeping it really clean. I'm playing with the dog all the time. I'm shopping for stuff to put on the walls. I'M BORED.

Coming from a house with 6 other people always there and moving into a place where my roomate and I have totally different schedules is quite a change. I find myself coming home from work, looking around a saying to myself, "shit, what do I do now?" My computer's busted. I don't have any more money to shop for decorations. We don't have cable yet. I just dislocated my shoulder again so surfing, rock climbing, all the stuff that keeps me entertained is totally out the window.

Everybody look out. If I don't find any new hobbies soon I'm going to take a large gun into the Dive Bars I haven't been to yet and pose the question,

"Who here wants to entertain me?"

7/6/98

okay, this is probably the first week in two months that I haven't experienced some sort of karmic backlash against something that I did in a past life. Let's go back over this time period and try to figure out what the fuck is going on.

  1. Dislocated shoulder (ER visit)
  2. Crushed thumb (ER visit)
  3. Oral infection from antibiotics from ER
  4. $782 to smog my car
  5. $205 registration + unpaid parking tickets
  6. The most massive sunburn peel I've ever seen, much less had
  7. Car towed from friend's neighbors parking spot and I was a door knock away ($130...and they wouldn't release it until I had my new registration that was still in the mail)

Okay, maybe one or two of these could have been averted. But the main problem I think is that I just have bad luck.

Now you're probably thinking "You whiny bitch. There are people who don't even HAVE cars to get towed or shoulders to dislocate. You should be happy you have what you do have." But one response I have to that:

lame. Lame lame lame.

I'm just hoping that I've finally seen the end of this string. Maybe there's an ex-girlfriend out there who's finally learned voodoo and that lock of hair I stupidly let her keep is being soaked in chicken blood and burned over a candle in a dark room in New Orleans while a naked woman with six arms dances in the background.

Or I'm just screwed for no reason whatsoever. Someone has to make other people feel lucky, right?

So look at what you have and remember...

  1. If you have a weak shoulder already, don't try to push yourself off a strange couch. Just roll off. If there's someone underneath you, just yell, "steamroller!" so they don't get suspicious.
  2. As much as you want to, don't show up early for banquets. You'll always get roped into helping and then the safety bar on the two-ton collapsing tables won't work. Specifically you should sit in the parking lot and smoke lots of cigarrettes until you're late and reek.
  3. Don't take antibiotics, even if the doctor says your finger will fall off. We take the soft tissue in our mouths for granted, but when you can't even eat bananas because they're too stiff you think, "man, I didn't need that thumb anyway."
  4. Always buy cars that are 25+ years old. That way you can flip off the DMV every time you drive by with a huge trail of black smoke spitting out the back because you don't have to have it smogged.
  5. If a friend asks you to pick her up at the airport, don't. You'll eventually have to go to the bathroom, leave your car for 30 seconds and then turn around to see a ticket on it. Tell the bitch to take a cab: it's cheaper than a $65 ticket that will eventually double because you're the biggest procrastinator since Rip Van Winkle.
  6. If you're going to float in the middle of the bay on your surfboard to watch the X-games snowboarding competition with your friends and a floating keg, hire a helicopter to hover above you so you don't get sunburned. Sure, it might be a bit expensive, but it's worth it to keep all the skin on your back.
  7. Lock your car with a bike lock to the car next to it anywhere you park. That way, you can't ever be towed.

Just trying to help you guys out.

-z