Lifestyle Hints 'n' Tips

Number 1:

How to make Fig Rolls taste MEATY:

Firstly, check that:

• it's 1:00am
• you're tired
• you're hungry

Idly consume 1x fig roll and keep packet handy.

Now. Take 1x Pickled Gerkin Jar from fridge. Ensure the jar is sufficently cool and remove lid.

Using a standard sized fork, extract 1x gerkin from jar, shaking off excess pickle into jar. Close lid.

Consume SLOWLY (they can be painful to eat - personally that's what's so good about them... uummm, no, on second thoughts, I didn't just say that!)

Now. Extract a fig roll from the packet and consume quickly. IT TASTES MEATY! I can assure you. Meat meat meaty. UUUuuuuughh!!

Drink chocolate milkshake to get rid of taste. But it doesn't work and you are left with meaty milky chocolately pickley taste in your mouth.. Ohh, Coco!!