-discussions-

d: no, it just... well, actually
c: cos we're on the other side of the um, earth is suppose. i thought that's the theory of it
d: i can't even remember how they flush in australia
b: i don't really take any notice of which way the toilet, the water goes in the toilet
d: no, doesn't it just keep going?
c: it doesn't go around
d: yeah, it just goes whoo!
c: in the sink it goes around
d: hey, hey, wrong
c: our toilets don't have a whirlpool
d: yeah, our toilets just suck!
c: they flush, they don't whirl
b: our toilets are like pools, our toilets have a little bit of water down in the bottom, that's about it

b: we're probably going to go on to tertiary education. we'll probably go on to uni next year. anyway, i'm going to get a degree in music, i think.
d: i'm going to get a degree in law, i think. that's what we've been studying.
d: (answering to if they'd put music aside for a couple years) maybe, cos lawyers tend to lie and they get a lot of stuff through bullshitting and i'm really good at lying and also we did a study of law at school. i came second in the state of new south wales. ben, what did you come in? what'd you come in that law, tertiary law...
b: oh, i came like 19th or something.
d: in the state, so he still did pretty good. so, you know, we know our law and rules, regulations, etc.


d: we like talking about famous zoos of the world. dubbo zoo, in australia, has some fascinating life forms. has a few panda bears, which are a rare specimen. actually, ben looks like a panda bear. i've come to the conclusion.
b: do panda bears have mohawks?
d: yeah, some do. and i look like a rat.


d: we don't believe in girls. we think they're an invalid commodity.
b: we never get girls.
d: we find it hard.
b: girls, they don't want to talk to us for some reason.
d: they say we look too much like animals. girls say ben looks like a panda and i look like a rat, chris looks like a puppy. so sometimes we get a girl or two. as far as girls are concerned, we've got too many animal features to be able to...


d: hi, i'm ben
b: i'm daniel
c: i'm paul
d: hi, i'm daniel
b: i'm george
c: i'm bill
d: i'm judith
b: yeah, you kind of look like a girl
d: hi, i'm judith currum (?)
b: i'm gordon, flash gordon
c: i'm monica al doran (?)
b: we're the speakers


b: i'll describe daniel. fat, ugly, trendsetter...
d: i'll describe ben. cool, funny, witty, muscular
b: shut up
d: what?!
b: i don't like you
d: and silky
b: no, i don't like you
d: (describing chris) cool, tough, dumb, brilliant, good-looking, handsome
b: goa-teed-like
d: goa-teed-like! he's the most manly
b: see, when chris turns 40 he's going to have to shave like twice a day, and me and daniel, on the other hand, hopefully will have to shave only twice a week. give me a kiss! (to chris)


c: freak show, it was a theme, and uh, ben wants to answer this question, i don't know why.
b: what?? i don't-
d: (to the rescue) i'll answer it.

d: it was off some 60's pop collection record, at watson's house because he listens to really sh...
c: some silly music!
b: watson's this really cool dude, right, and he shaved his head and he's-
d: he's got a tat on his nose.
b: and he wears these big, round glasses.
c: and he thinks he's tough.
b: he's got this big tattoo on his butt. some chick told us.
d: a cat (the tattoo)
c: a cat and a dog.
b: a cat and a dog, kissing!

d: jock? what's that mean?
b: that means that you're a sporto-like. tough guy-like...you wear those big things that make your balls and your dick look really big.
d: i don't have to wear one of them.

b: do you like llamas, daniel?
d: i like 'em, yeah. they're top animals, mate.
b: aw, i feel the same way.
d: hm, i love them, mate. they're really nice animals.
b: do you support the liberation of llamas?
d: i do, i support the liberation of llamas.
b: same here. i feel-
d: can i ask you a serious question?
b: ah, go ahead, go ahead.
d: like, a serious...question?
b: very serious.
d: (laughing) do you pick your nose?
b: sometimes...well i'm just going to come out in the open and say yes, i do.
d: thank you, and we'll go back to the radio interviewer.


b: llamas are a wonderful animal.
d: hm, you know how we took over the dinosaurs? llamas are gonna take over us.
b: no, wait. can i explain something, please?
d: no, okay.
b: you know how like monkeys were really dumb? like apes? like they were all hairy and they couldn't talk. then you know how they turned into man? well llamas, right, um, they're like the caveman of today, right? and there's going to be another ice age and all humans are going to die and then llamas are going to, like, turn intelligent and be able to talk and like, be chefs and um, and like, carpenters.
d: no, it's true. chefs! chef llamas. they're going to have, like, fossils of humans.


d: mascara. what's it called?
b: maxfactor.
d: yeah, maxfactor. it increases our eyelashes 200%. don't use it but we're gonna soon cause it's cool. ben wears lipstick.
b: yeah.
d: chris wears...
(rouge?)
d: yeah, whatever that is. he wears it.
b: actaully, i wear a little blush. maxfactor just came out with the new...i think it's something to do with your eyebrows. yeah, i'm growing them too...some eyeliner...
d: start waxing our eyebrows...
b: yes, we love maxfactor. they rule.


c: i have a girlfriend, so... (grabs daniel's rock melon)...the rock melon!
d: the rock melon is mine, chris!! give it here! it's mine!
c: it's the two-timing rock melon!
(they struggle and chris lets daniel have it, cause ya know, daniel's a puny bastard and chris could break him if he wanted to!)
d: it's mine and no one elses.


d: because ben was it, he was the transvestite. that's him.
b: shut up, am not!
d: yeah, you are.
b: i'm not.
d: that's what your girlfriend told me. your girlfriend told me.
b: in fact, i don't have one
c: he has many.
b: no, let's forget that subject. i don't want to talk about it.
announcer dude, ugly phil: why? was that a touchy subject? the girlfriend subject? why's that? because you go on the road?
b: yeah, it's just. no, it's because. no. no, shut up. i don't want to talk about it.
p: i want to talk about it. what's the story with your girlfriend?
b: i don't have a bloody girlfriend!


d: do you know television corrupts your mind?
b: yeah.
d: you shouldn't watch it.
b: you watch bloody heaps of it!
d: oh, i do not! all i watch is neighbors. neighbors is not corrupting in any way. it's just, it's a perfectly harmless show. it is really stupid.
c: none of them ever have to go to the toilet.
d: sure.
c: well they never do everyday things.
d: neighbors is the most everyday show.
c: it is not.
d: it is, they go to school.
c: none of them ever have a shower! (sounds really offended by the fact)
d: yeah, that's not everyday for me. chris' life is taken up by shitting and showering. no, think about it. neighbors is rad.
c: yeah, might as well watch beverly hills, 90210.
d: aw, no! that's american crap! that's just the american soap opera kind of thing that, you go with neighbors and you can't go wrong.
b: party of five! party of five rules!
d: neighbors!
b: party of five, party of five.
c: party of five.
d: no, if you think about it, american soap operas are well and good for the first few hundred and then you don't have your... neighbors has been around, it's built up a reputable
c: it's so mainstream.
b: shut up, shut up!
d: no, it's just a great show. people say it's not, but it is.


d: we stayed at home and painted rice bubbles.
b: and cocoa puffs.
d: kelloggs, rice bubbles.
b: yeah.
d: they're the crackliest breakfast cereal on earth.
b: yeah, like snap, crapple, crackle, crapple!
d: snap crapple! it's snap, crackle, pop. that's what each of us are: snap, crackle, and pop.
b: sorry, i've got a speech impediment.
d: cause when you pour the milk in, it goes ::makes crackling noise::
b: no, it doesn't go like that.
d: yes it does.
b: no, it doesn't go like that, believe me.
d: that's the closest i can get to it. it goes however the f*ck i want it to!
b: don't say the f word! that's rude.


d: ok, we go home and everything's totally different. we go home and all of a sudden, we've got four different colors of hair and the beaches are purple and our high school's turned into a museum.
b: we've got five legs and we've got six fingers on each hand.
d: and girls have penises.
b: no, the girls don't have penises!
d: i was just making it up, like, you know?
b: ok, the girls have penises.


c: sizzler has great food! the ice cream (is his favorite dessert)
d: yeah, well me and chris have a special trick.
c: the leaning tower of ice cream.
d: yeah, and you can make really tall, like, tall ice cream. like 20 centimeters high.
c: yeah. but-the rule is you have to finish it all.
d: yeah, no one else can do it except for me and chris cause it's our special little secret. yeah, and when it goes halfway you stir it up and make it into a thick shake. yeah, we never eat salad.

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