moo

by jeanna

on a cold winters night ben and daniel were spending an evening alone in ben's room basking in the warm glow of the tele watching "the adventures of huggy bear" that they had rented earlier that day. let us listen in on the two love-struck children...

daniel: hehe, you have cold hands, ben.
ben: you know what they say: cold hands, jumpy daniel.
daniel: hehe, that reminds me...do that thing you do with the twizzlers, love muffin.
ben: as much as i'd love to play "put the twizzler where it doesn't belong," i have something bothering me that i'd like to share.
daniel: go right ahead my one and only cherry pie, your concerns are my concerns.
ben: thanks sweetums. (gets up and pauses "huggy bear") have you noticed that chris is acting a little strange lately?
daniel: you call mooing like a cow everytime someone says "wallaby" a little strange?
ben: i see your point, but what can we do about it?
daniel: this sounds like a job for, uhh, for the, umm, f*ck it, get the yellow pages...
two candy canes, 5 eskimo kisses, and a desperate search through the gillies residence later...
daniel: (leafing through pages) hmm...what about this..."tick dracy: expert in the art of finding out why people moo like cows when someone says "wallaby"?
ben: he sounds good. where's his office?
daniel: other side of town.
ben: nope. next.
daniel: (in a pouty whine) alriiiight. (sings "i'm a little teapot" quietly) ahh...here's a closer one: private eye offices of rodney d young.
ben: catchy enough...let's go!
the boys grab their push bikes and head over to the chosen detective agency...
inside, lydia, angel, bria, stacey, skye, and jeanna (who all happen to work at the same place in australia on the same shift, gee, what are the odds of that?) are having the usual deep conversation...
angel: if you had a gun with only one bullet and were locked in a room with the 5 spice girls, what would you do?
bria: i'd shoot myself.
stacey: i'd shoot one and then beat the rest to death with the gun.
jeanna: i'd see if i could line them up so the bullet could go in the 1st head and out the last head.
lydia: i'd organize us into 3 groups so we could sing "row, row, row your boat" in rounds!
lydia is bombarded with "have-you-been-eating-fuzzy-cheese-again" looks from everyone in the room.
lydia: geez, share an opinion and you get busted.
suddenly the girls hear two familiar voices arguing outside the door...
voice #1: no, i'm telling you ben, fig newtons are much better when they're stale!
voice #2: yeah, ok, daniel. good thing i like you for your high cheek bones.
voice #1: what's that supposed to mean....that's it, no more nookie for you!
daniel bursts into the office with ben right behind him...
ben: i'm sorry cookie, i didn't mean it, it's the weather. i swear!
an uncomfortable silence breaks out among the crowd.
right then, skye comes out of the back room...
skye: hey, guess what i found? ewok porn! oops...i didn't know we had visitors...

....and uncomfortable silence breaks out among the kids in the detective agency after skye's announcement of her ewok porn discovery. jeanna, stacey, angel, lydia, bria, skye, ben, and daniel all try desperatley to think of a new topic...
angel: sooo...anyone like mangos?
stacey: uhhh, yeah, i do...they look so pretty next to my telephone...(shrugs)
ben: ....and they also make lovely parting gifts...(winces)
bria: so why did you come here?
daniel: well...we're getting concerned about our friend chris...
ben: he moos when he hears a certain word.
jeanna: is it dingo?!?
daniel: no.
lydia: barbie?!?
bria: jason??
stacey:no, you're the one who moos when you hear that.
skye: ewoks?...heh heh.
ben: no, no, and, heh, no.
ben motions for everyone to huddle and whispers the magic word...
jeanna:ahhh...sounds like chris has a classic case of hypnotism.
daniel: but what can we do to stop this?
lydia: well we can kidnap chris, put him back into a trance, and undo the hypnotic suggestion.
ben: who would put a hynotic suggestion into chris' mind in the first place?
angel: someone sick! someone evil! hmm...that really doesn't leave anyone out does it...?

this is an uncomplete one.....