Lamers- and Steve's Honorable Mentions

What makes a game a lamer? For one, it has to have no originality whatsoever. In most cases, there is too much emphasis on graphics and sound, resulting in either a terrible game itself or incredibly bumpy action. Remember, games are meant to be fun.

Quake

Ok, this game is highly regarded as being great, but I don't see what makes it so good. For one, it runs bumpy on some pentiums, and there's no chance in hell that I could play it on my 486. Made by the makers of Doom, they introduced true 3d levels, and enemies that you don't want to kill, and much more graphic violence. Newer weapons were cool at first, but some of them are just not fair. I played Quake on a network, and by choosing the rocket-launcher guy I had no challenge. The levels are too big and confusing. There was more emphasis put into violence than gameplay, and the concept to this game was all but new. It had so much hype while other games just like it were already being released. The wait wasn't worth it.

Rebel Assault

This game was a break through in high quality graphics, and I must admit that it was fun to play, but the gameplay sucked. You had no control over the ship, it was basically a game of target shooting. And now for a true story. I broke my joy-stick playing this game trying to move away from a stupid asteroid in the asteroid belt. Another complaint of mine is that it is too damn difficult. I finished it somehow on the easy difficulty, but there is no chance in hell that anyone could finish it at normal or hard difficulty. But I did enjoy the graphics, the sound (straight from the StarWars tracks) and the little interludes with scenes from the movies. If you're a starwars buff then try it out, but if you're looking for gameplay than this ain't where it's at.

And then those that didn't quite make it onto my top ten


Omar Sharif on Bridge

You all know Omar Sharif, don't you? Famous movie star who decided to become a bridge guru after a while. It's hard to really put this game on a top ten because not very many people play bridge. But if you have ever played bridge before, or you want to learn how to play bridge, this game is for you.

Now if you are some master bridge guru then chances are you will find this game mighty frustrating, because only the simple conventions (Blackwood, Stayman) are already programmed in, without any of the modern day conventions such as two-level preeempts, roman key-card, or grand slam force, impossible notrump... Well the list goes on. But if you have no clue what those things are, as my usual partners do, then this game is great for practicing simple bidding, and playing contracts right.

A built in tutorial helps beginners learn how to play using some hands as examples. But if you try a move that Omar doesn't like, he'll outright tell you "That's not quite right." His recorded voice messages are what make this game a classic. Whenever you lose a trick he says "Hard luck, try again" and if you win a trick he says "That was a good play" even if you take your partners king with your ace for no reason at all. And he tries, I say he tries to say the contract after the bidding, but has a little trouble putting together the words. My favourite contract has to be "The contract is.. one .. hearts.. re.. doubled..by ..EAST".

The game also allows plenty of cheating-- allowing you to peak at other players hands just like in real life, (it really helps you decide when to take the finesses and when not to), take back a few moves, or abort the hand altogether (great for those 7 spade contracts that are missing the ace king). The computer sometimes goes a little crazy in the bidding and likes ending up in 7 clubs when it should be in 2. But that just ends up making it that much more fun when you put them down 5 redoubled.

This game is just not real enough to make it incredibly fun, and if you're looking for a good bridge game, or any card game, I would have to suggest looking into finding this game. I bought it for $15 in 1993 but I have no idea where you could find it now. The reasons that this game did not make it are obvious- It's a rare find- and not many people play bridge. Omar has made another starring role.