My eyes wandered off to the lake beside us that shone under the stars reflected light. Looking at hurt my eyes and I quickly turned away, but it wasn't the only reason. I tried to convince myself it was just the pain my eyes felt from looking at it but my heart knew otherwise. I listened to the song If... … … playing on the radio and something tugged at my brain. I sighed. I let my heart take control, I let my mind take me back.

I looked at those blue eyes that looked back into mine. Those eyes that twinkled just like the stars that blanketed the night sky with light. Those eyes were my world. The eyes looked away as he took my hand in his. We started walking along the shore with the waves crashing against out bare feet. We walked in serenity on the sandy beach, hearing the waves, taking in the dazzling sight before us and feeling the security of our love. I looked at my hand wrapped tightly in his. I hoped silently to myself that I would never have to let go.

I sighed. 'But this is Nick Carter.' I thought. ' The guy who traveled all around the world and never stayed in one place for more than a week.' The thought of this, and I felt like crying. I scolded myself. 'Why are you thinking like this? He said he'd be there forever and you believe him. Why was I so scared then?' I sighed once more and held on even tighter to Nicks hand. He turned those eyes on me again and looked into my eyes that I knew told everything.

A soft smile lit up his face. He stopped and held my hand in both of his. He pulled me down with him onto the sand and wrapped his arms around me. 'Don't worry. I told you... I'm here and I always will be.' he assured me. 'Come on, do you think this face would lie to you?' he gave me this look.

I smiled 'Your so conceited' I said as I pushed him away and ran. 'Hey! I'm not going to let you get away.' He said as he got up and ran after me. We ran there along the moonlit beach wild and free. Happy to be there together. Of course, after a few seconds he caught me and we both hit the soft sand together, laughing. I felt his love for me as we held each other, better as I felt him so close to me once again that night, under the stars, gazing at the vast black ocean spread out before us.

Three days later I sat on my couch sad and depressed. I missed Nick. I missed the warmth of his arms, those soft kisses and those intense eyes looking into mine. I missed his gentle words and his heaven sent voice sending wondrous sounds to my ear. I listened my tapes, for now they were all that eased my soul. When would he be back? 'Soon' he had said when we both said goodbye. It was hard to let go that day. We couldn't let go until Kevin came along and pulled us apart. Nick turned those eyes upon me again and he had smiled.

'I'll be back' He had said. He then held me close and kissed me goodbye. When my blue eyed angel was finally out of sight I let the tears I held in my eyes fall. My whole world was in a plane flying away from me. Those eyes, were gone.

Now, I’m on my couch, watching TV . I hadn't want to be up and about these days. My heart was like an anchor, weighing me down. Everything I saw that sent piercing rays into my eyes when touched by light brought to me the picture of Nicks eyes. 'He'll be back, he'll be back' I said to myself. 'He promised, he loves you'

I thought of his innocent smile, his hand holding mine and I was comforted. I picked up the TV remote and changed the Channel. Serena Aschutl face lit the screen declaring the hourly MTV news. But I wasn't paying attention, my mind was in profound thought of Nick. I suddenly looked up. I had heard Nicks name being mentioned on TV. But when I looked..........it couldn't be right. The guy on the screen holding some blond girl was not Nick Carter! Those eyes that shone with happiness didn't belong to Nick Carter! I sat there stunned, watching Nick put his arms, those arms that had once held me, around the blond girls shoulders.

I felt nothing. I had no feeling. And all I was aware of was the sound of my heart being torn apart. Frantically my mind searched for answers. Maybe that was just a friend Nick was helping out I thought hopefully. But no, his eyes held the look of love he had once held for me alone. I was crushed. My whole world had just vanished, stolen away from me by some blond.........BITCH! I sat there on the couch for another hour, no reaction no tears, I was still stunned.

When I could finally comprehend, I ran to my room, tears falling from my eyes. I sat on my bed letting the tears fall and thought. Why, why, why, why, WHY! How could he? How could the sweet, gentle Nick that I knew, or I thought I knew, do this to me? How could he break my heart? I thought he had loved me. I had been so stupid for falling for his handsome face, his beautiful voice, for his sweet words, for those eyes! For those eyes that all along were lying!

So I sat there crying when through my blurred vision, I saw a glint of white against the blue of my bedsheets. It was a letter, taking a closer look I realized it was from him. With a heavy heart I reached out with trembling hands and opened the envelope. An almost empty sheet of paper fell out. It held two words. Two damn words. No explanation, no nothing. I'm sorry were the only words he told me. I cried again tears which I thought I didn't have. Then I realized there was something else inside. My mind reeled. What else was in that envelope. A proclamation of his love for me? A letter talking about how it was him and not me and it just wouldn't work out? I took a deep breath and pulled out a drawing. I gasped. It was beautiful. Two people sitting, under the stars rays on a sandy beach clinging on to each other like it was the end of the world. I looked at the corner of the drawing. In tiny script the words……… 'You, the sweet memories. I loved and hate to part with. I'm sorry. I'll never forget you...."

My mind was shocked and saddened and yet almost happy.. I thought about how Nick looked in that TV news broadcasting. I could barely slightly remember that through the happiness that showed in his eyes, there was a glint of sadness and regret, but nonetheless he was happy.

Well at least he felt something-sadness and regret for leaving me. And I wondered silently to myself if he still did feel for me, if he still cared… I couldn't get my eyes of the drawing. I still must have been really depressed cause I found myself joking to myself, "At least now I have a Carter original. This could be worth millions someday" I sat there until my ass started hurting. Staring at the drawing Nick had left for me.

"You're thinking about Nick again aren't you?"

"Huh?!?! Oh.....uh.......Yeah." I replied as I was pulled out of the past and I looked at my boys soft brown eyes. "But don't worry.....you're the one I love" I added smiling coyly.

He smiled back and I heard him singing to me Nicks song. Heaven in Your Eyes. I listened to the notes floating around me. My boy can really sing I thought. I thought of the person who sang this song to millions of girls every night in concerts around the world. I really did see heaven in Nicks eyes I thought, I looked back and listened to my boy singing, but not anymore.

Could you please stop singing now? You're killing the moment' I told the person who had just held me even tighter. "Oh really?" he said. "I'm hurt." And he gave me this pathetic puppy dog look.

"Awwww...I'm sorry. You know I love you."

"Oh......really?"

"Yeah"

The only response I got was the tightening of his arms around me.

Submitted by:Nancy-BayBieKaos