THE PAGE WITH A PINEAPPLE
JANUARY 23, 2000 - - - We were (and are) Monty Python nuts. Or maybe we're just nuts. This page came about after our first ever Monty Pythonathon. Ahh- those were good times. This also marked the time when we figured out how to put the midis on the page to annoy the heck out of y'all. I WANNA GO GO GO ON! Hello, hello, and welcome to our humble adobe. This is Aly, one of your hostesses with the mostesses.And I'll be joining Aly today. I'm Xris (pronounced Kris). I don't have exactly as much as Aly, but I have enough to get by. You don't have exactly as much of WHAT, Xris? (Pronounced 'Kris') Anyway, the visiting hours are 9 to 5, but we can probably sneak you in later or earlier. We're cool like that.Hot dog.Yeppers.... which, by the way, rhymes with peppers.... oh, now I lost my train of thought. Toot-toot!All aboard! This train makes stops at all mental institutions from here to California. Strangely enough, we don't get off at any of them.We have many things to offer here at The Page With A Pineapple, at low discount prices. Sure, you won't want to get half the stuff, but at these prices, who can resist?!?!?This is the end of the bar. Pineapple Buddy Appreciation Day - August 26!! Before reading: this main page is an idea me and Xris came up with because we love Monty Python's skit 'The Cheese Shop'. We are not copying them, because in no place do we mention 'cheese', except in this opening paragraph. This is best read in your head, in an english accent. And REMEMBER - there really is no TPWAP Hat Shop, so please do not send in your orders for hats. Oh, but DO sign the guestbook! Thank you, and enjoy your stay. Hello, and welcome to The Page With A Pineapple Hat Shop. The best on the web. Here, we have all sorts of great hats. Perfect! A giant monkey came bounding down the street, tore the hat off my head, and ran off with it. Well, this is the place for you, ma'am. Terrific. I am in dire need of a Gilligan hat. Oh, I'm sorry, the last one was bought yesterday. Oh. Oh, well then... Do you have an Indian turban? Sorry, ma'am. We were expecting our shipment to come this morning, but it never showed up. No turbans? How about a top hat? The Planter's nut just bought our entire stock. The entire stock? How many top hats does he need? He's only got one head! I'm sorry, ma'am, but you know these rich nuts.... Actually, I don't. I haven't ever met one. Umm, well, your loss, I guess. Anyway, you came here to but a hat, I assume? Yes, yes. Quite so. You see, a giant monkey... Oh, I remember now. Go on, go on. Alright. Yes, let's see. Do you have any bucket hats? Let me check.........no. A beret? No, ma'am. A ten gallon cowboy hat? Mmmm...no. A twelve gallon cowboy hat? Only a twelve and a half gallon cowboy hat, ma'am. Oh, well that will do. I'll take one of those. Oh, I don't think you want one of those. It's not really your style. Well, who are you to tell me what my style is?I said I want a 12 1/2gallon cowboy hat, and I expect to get one. Ma'am, I really don't think you want one. Yes, I do. Whatever happened to the 'the customer is always right' policy? Okay, let me get it. (footsteps) Oh, I'm sorry. The moths ate it. And the rats. It's full of holes. Well, fine then. Do you have a beanie? No. Not even the rainbow kind with the cute little helicopter thingie on top? Nope. My nephew has one of those, though.... How much? My nephew or the hat? Hmmmmm....(mumbling to self) I have been quite lonely lately...(aloud)No. The hat. I'm sorry. It's not for sale. What! How much for the boy? $100.... Oh, wait. I promised not to try to sell him again. He is also not for sale. Then why did you ask me if I wanted him? I forgot. Please forgive me, ma'am. [mumble mumble mumble] Yes, yes. All is forgiven.Now, do you have a fishing hat? Yes. Is it for sale? Is what for sale? The fishing hat. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking to me. You see, my sister's cousin's husband's mother-in-law's uncle's brother's name was Fishinghat, and I thought you were talking to me. Sorry about that. Oh. But how is it your name? You aren't your sister's cousin's brother- whatever, are you? Ummm...(confused pause) maybe. So anyway, this is TPWAP Hat Shop- the best on the web. Yes, yes. I know. But what is a hat shop without a hat? Do you have any hats at all? Of course we do. This is the best hat shop on the web! Alright. Now we're getting somewhere. Do you have a clown hat? Nope. A fez? Pez? Sure, I'd love one! Mmmmm-mmmm! No, no. Not *pez*, a *fez*. It's a type of hat! Oh, of course. No, we don't have any fezes, we have no fezes today. A sombrero? Si. I mean no. I should have taken more years of Spanish. A petasus? Don't they fly in the air? No, sorry... Not a pegasus, you twit. What about a bonnet? What about one? Do you have one? Well, why didn't you ask me then, ma'am? Nope. A hennin? No. A Gainsborough hat? Not right now, I'm afraid. A cloche? Bless you. What? Oh, sorry.... I thought that was a fancy, refined sneeze. No, no. it's a hat. Do you have it? No. Do you have a tricorne? Not anymore, sorry. A Cavalier hat? No, ma'am. A pelo? Nope. A harlequin hat? I don't believe so...no. A tam-o-shanter? No. A rain hat? It isn't raining, is it? no, no I don't believe so. Then you really don't need one now, do you? No, I do believe you're right. Do you have a mortarboard? Sorry, miss, no. A hunting hat? Not here, but try that hunting/fishing store down the street, over on the left corner. Well I don't want to go out of my way. I just made a quick stop in to get a hat. You see, a giant monkey... Yes, yes, miss. i know. Well, it looks like you're in the right place for all your hat needs! Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm looking for a tiara. Are you now? Why, do you have a date with a prince? (wink wink, nudge nudge) No, I just need something to put atop my head. I seem to have lost my hat to a giant monkey. Really? Do tell- I don't believe you have told me the tragic story of losing your hat. Oh, well, I was just walking down the street a few moments ago, when a giant monkey came by and ran off with my hat. It was at that time that I approached your store, and decided to see if I could find a hat. You, uh, *do* sell hats, don't you? Of course, miss- we're the best hat shop on the web! Delightful. Do you happen to have a football helmet? A football helmet, eh? ......no. A German headress? Fresh out. They seem to be all the rage thesedays- you know those teenybopper magazines, when they say something is in style, everyone goes nuts and buys them. Right, right. Know exactly what you mean. How about a derby? No. A bowler? No. A simple baseball cap? I'm afraid not. Well, you must have *something* in the way of a hat? Yes, we do! We're TPWAP Hat Shop... Oh, quit it already. I know that. What do you have to offer me to place upon my head? ...Nothing, miss. Sorry. I've just been wasting your time.... Well, actually, I do have this newspaper, which when folded correctly will make a lovely hat. Oh, well, how much do you want for it? 50 cents, plus 50 cents for labor, plus 5 cents tax...$1.05. Well, I can fold it myself. that will save me 50 cents. Okay, so your new total will be $1.10. $1.00 for the paper, and 10 cents tax. What!?! You just jacked up the price! It now costs me an extra 5 cents for me to fold my own bloody newspaper to wear as a hat because your supposed hat shop has no hats? Inflation, my dear. Also,as we speak, this paper is becoming a collector's item! Yesterday's news! It's only natural that the price goes up too. All in all, it's a fair deal. Alright, alright. I'll take it. Here's $1.10. Thank you! Come again! Next time, remember- TPWAP Hat Shop for all your hat needs! Yes, right. [mumble,mumble] Good day. Have a nice day! Ohh! A Story by Xris! Xris'Journal! Visit the Nonsense of the Week archives! Read all about us! The thingie about Xris that Aly filled out The thingie about Aly that Xris filled out Links! A Pic of Me(Xris/Krisco)! A Short Story! Some Common Ailments... The Song By Xris! Xris proves that we really learn stuff in school! A Pic of Me (Aly)! The Page Without A Pineapple! Xris' Essay of the Month for August! ?????! Xris' Essay Archives! Xris' Horsie! A couple of Aly's old poems! Cartoons from a dark period(hee hee) in Xris' life! YAY! Our Story! Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!
Ahh- those were good times. This also marked the time when we figured out how to put the midis on the page to annoy the heck out of y'all. I WANNA GO GO GO ON! Hello, hello, and welcome to our humble adobe. This is Aly, one of your hostesses with the mostesses.And I'll be joining Aly today. I'm Xris (pronounced Kris). I don't have exactly as much as Aly, but I have enough to get by. You don't have exactly as much of WHAT, Xris? (Pronounced 'Kris') Anyway, the visiting hours are 9 to 5, but we can probably sneak you in later or earlier. We're cool like that.Hot dog.Yeppers.... which, by the way, rhymes with peppers.... oh, now I lost my train of thought. Toot-toot!All aboard! This train makes stops at all mental institutions from here to California. Strangely enough, we don't get off at any of them.We have many things to offer here at The Page With A Pineapple, at low discount prices. Sure, you won't want to get half the stuff, but at these prices, who can resist?!?!?This is the end of the bar. Pineapple Buddy Appreciation Day - August 26!! Before reading: this main page is an idea me and Xris came up with because we love Monty Python's skit 'The Cheese Shop'. We are not copying them, because in no place do we mention 'cheese', except in this opening paragraph. This is best read in your head, in an english accent. And REMEMBER - there really is no TPWAP Hat Shop, so please do not send in your orders for hats. Oh, but DO sign the guestbook! Thank you, and enjoy your stay. Hello, and welcome to The Page With A Pineapple Hat Shop. The best on the web. Here, we have all sorts of great hats. Perfect! A giant monkey came bounding down the street, tore the hat off my head, and ran off with it. Well, this is the place for you, ma'am. Terrific. I am in dire need of a Gilligan hat. Oh, I'm sorry, the last one was bought yesterday. Oh. Oh, well then... Do you have an Indian turban? Sorry, ma'am. We were expecting our shipment to come this morning, but it never showed up. No turbans? How about a top hat? The Planter's nut just bought our entire stock. The entire stock? How many top hats does he need? He's only got one head! I'm sorry, ma'am, but you know these rich nuts.... Actually, I don't. I haven't ever met one. Umm, well, your loss, I guess. Anyway, you came here to but a hat, I assume? Yes, yes. Quite so. You see, a giant monkey... Oh, I remember now. Go on, go on. Alright. Yes, let's see. Do you have any bucket hats? Let me check.........no. A beret? No, ma'am. A ten gallon cowboy hat? Mmmm...no. A twelve gallon cowboy hat? Only a twelve and a half gallon cowboy hat, ma'am. Oh, well that will do. I'll take one of those. Oh, I don't think you want one of those. It's not really your style. Well, who are you to tell me what my style is?I said I want a 12 1/2gallon cowboy hat, and I expect to get one. Ma'am, I really don't think you want one. Yes, I do. Whatever happened to the 'the customer is always right' policy? Okay, let me get it. (footsteps) Oh, I'm sorry. The moths ate it. And the rats. It's full of holes. Well, fine then. Do you have a beanie? No. Not even the rainbow kind with the cute little helicopter thingie on top? Nope. My nephew has one of those, though.... How much? My nephew or the hat? Hmmmmm....(mumbling to self) I have been quite lonely lately...(aloud)No. The hat. I'm sorry. It's not for sale. What! How much for the boy? $100.... Oh, wait. I promised not to try to sell him again. He is also not for sale. Then why did you ask me if I wanted him? I forgot. Please forgive me, ma'am. [mumble mumble mumble] Yes, yes. All is forgiven.Now, do you have a fishing hat? Yes. Is it for sale? Is what for sale? The fishing hat. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking to me. You see, my sister's cousin's husband's mother-in-law's uncle's brother's name was Fishinghat, and I thought you were talking to me. Sorry about that. Oh. But how is it your name? You aren't your sister's cousin's brother- whatever, are you? Ummm...(confused pause) maybe. So anyway, this is TPWAP Hat Shop- the best on the web. Yes, yes. I know. But what is a hat shop without a hat? Do you have any hats at all? Of course we do. This is the best hat shop on the web! Alright. Now we're getting somewhere. Do you have a clown hat? Nope. A fez? Pez? Sure, I'd love one! Mmmmm-mmmm! No, no. Not *pez*, a *fez*. It's a type of hat! Oh, of course. No, we don't have any fezes, we have no fezes today. A sombrero? Si. I mean no. I should have taken more years of Spanish. A petasus? Don't they fly in the air? No, sorry... Not a pegasus, you twit. What about a bonnet? What about one? Do you have one? Well, why didn't you ask me then, ma'am? Nope. A hennin? No. A Gainsborough hat? Not right now, I'm afraid. A cloche? Bless you. What? Oh, sorry.... I thought that was a fancy, refined sneeze. No, no. it's a hat. Do you have it? No. Do you have a tricorne? Not anymore, sorry. A Cavalier hat? No, ma'am. A pelo? Nope. A harlequin hat? I don't believe so...no. A tam-o-shanter? No. A rain hat? It isn't raining, is it? no, no I don't believe so. Then you really don't need one now, do you? No, I do believe you're right. Do you have a mortarboard? Sorry, miss, no. A hunting hat? Not here, but try that hunting/fishing store down the street, over on the left corner. Well I don't want to go out of my way. I just made a quick stop in to get a hat. You see, a giant monkey... Yes, yes, miss. i know. Well, it looks like you're in the right place for all your hat needs! Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm looking for a tiara. Are you now? Why, do you have a date with a prince? (wink wink, nudge nudge) No, I just need something to put atop my head. I seem to have lost my hat to a giant monkey. Really? Do tell- I don't believe you have told me the tragic story of losing your hat. Oh, well, I was just walking down the street a few moments ago, when a giant monkey came by and ran off with my hat. It was at that time that I approached your store, and decided to see if I could find a hat. You, uh, *do* sell hats, don't you? Of course, miss- we're the best hat shop on the web! Delightful. Do you happen to have a football helmet? A football helmet, eh? ......no. A German headress? Fresh out. They seem to be all the rage thesedays- you know those teenybopper magazines, when they say something is in style, everyone goes nuts and buys them. Right, right. Know exactly what you mean. How about a derby? No. A bowler? No. A simple baseball cap? I'm afraid not. Well, you must have *something* in the way of a hat? Yes, we do! We're TPWAP Hat Shop... Oh, quit it already. I know that. What do you have to offer me to place upon my head? ...Nothing, miss. Sorry. I've just been wasting your time.... Well, actually, I do have this newspaper, which when folded correctly will make a lovely hat. Oh, well, how much do you want for it? 50 cents, plus 50 cents for labor, plus 5 cents tax...$1.05. Well, I can fold it myself. that will save me 50 cents. Okay, so your new total will be $1.10. $1.00 for the paper, and 10 cents tax. What!?! You just jacked up the price! It now costs me an extra 5 cents for me to fold my own bloody newspaper to wear as a hat because your supposed hat shop has no hats? Inflation, my dear. Also,as we speak, this paper is becoming a collector's item! Yesterday's news! It's only natural that the price goes up too. All in all, it's a fair deal. Alright, alright. I'll take it. Here's $1.10. Thank you! Come again! Next time, remember- TPWAP Hat Shop for all your hat needs! Yes, right. [mumble,mumble] Good day. Have a nice day! Ohh! A Story by Xris! Xris'Journal! Visit the Nonsense of the Week archives! Read all about us! The thingie about Xris that Aly filled out The thingie about Aly that Xris filled out Links! A Pic of Me(Xris/Krisco)! A Short Story! Some Common Ailments... The Song By Xris! Xris proves that we really learn stuff in school! A Pic of Me (Aly)! The Page Without A Pineapple! Xris' Essay of the Month for August! ?????! Xris' Essay Archives! Xris' Horsie! A couple of Aly's old poems! Cartoons from a dark period(hee hee) in Xris' life! YAY! Our Story! Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!
I WANNA GO GO GO ON! Hello, hello, and welcome to our humble adobe. This is Aly, one of your hostesses with the mostesses.And I'll be joining Aly today. I'm Xris (pronounced Kris). I don't have exactly as much as Aly, but I have enough to get by. You don't have exactly as much of WHAT, Xris? (Pronounced 'Kris') Anyway, the visiting hours are 9 to 5, but we can probably sneak you in later or earlier. We're cool like that.Hot dog.Yeppers.... which, by the way, rhymes with peppers.... oh, now I lost my train of thought. Toot-toot!All aboard! This train makes stops at all mental institutions from here to California. Strangely enough, we don't get off at any of them.We have many things to offer here at The Page With A Pineapple, at low discount prices. Sure, you won't want to get half the stuff, but at these prices, who can resist?!?!?This is the end of the bar. Pineapple Buddy Appreciation Day - August 26!! Before reading: this main page is an idea me and Xris came up with because we love Monty Python's skit 'The Cheese Shop'. We are not copying them, because in no place do we mention 'cheese', except in this opening paragraph. This is best read in your head, in an english accent. And REMEMBER - there really is no TPWAP Hat Shop, so please do not send in your orders for hats. Oh, but DO sign the guestbook! Thank you, and enjoy your stay. Hello, and welcome to The Page With A Pineapple Hat Shop. The best on the web. Here, we have all sorts of great hats. Perfect! A giant monkey came bounding down the street, tore the hat off my head, and ran off with it. Well, this is the place for you, ma'am. Terrific. I am in dire need of a Gilligan hat. Oh, I'm sorry, the last one was bought yesterday. Oh. Oh, well then... Do you have an Indian turban? Sorry, ma'am. We were expecting our shipment to come this morning, but it never showed up. No turbans? How about a top hat? The Planter's nut just bought our entire stock. The entire stock? How many top hats does he need? He's only got one head! I'm sorry, ma'am, but you know these rich nuts.... Actually, I don't. I haven't ever met one. Umm, well, your loss, I guess. Anyway, you came here to but a hat, I assume? Yes, yes. Quite so. You see, a giant monkey... Oh, I remember now. Go on, go on. Alright. Yes, let's see. Do you have any bucket hats? Let me check.........no. A beret? No, ma'am. A ten gallon cowboy hat? Mmmm...no. A twelve gallon cowboy hat? Only a twelve and a half gallon cowboy hat, ma'am. Oh, well that will do. I'll take one of those. Oh, I don't think you want one of those. It's not really your style. Well, who are you to tell me what my style is?I said I want a 12 1/2gallon cowboy hat, and I expect to get one. Ma'am, I really don't think you want one. Yes, I do. Whatever happened to the 'the customer is always right' policy? Okay, let me get it. (footsteps) Oh, I'm sorry. The moths ate it. And the rats. It's full of holes. Well, fine then. Do you have a beanie? No. Not even the rainbow kind with the cute little helicopter thingie on top? Nope. My nephew has one of those, though.... How much? My nephew or the hat? Hmmmmm....(mumbling to self) I have been quite lonely lately...(aloud)No. The hat. I'm sorry. It's not for sale. What! How much for the boy? $100.... Oh, wait. I promised not to try to sell him again. He is also not for sale. Then why did you ask me if I wanted him? I forgot. Please forgive me, ma'am. [mumble mumble mumble] Yes, yes. All is forgiven.Now, do you have a fishing hat? Yes. Is it for sale? Is what for sale? The fishing hat. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking to me. You see, my sister's cousin's husband's mother-in-law's uncle's brother's name was Fishinghat, and I thought you were talking to me. Sorry about that. Oh. But how is it your name? You aren't your sister's cousin's brother- whatever, are you? Ummm...(confused pause) maybe. So anyway, this is TPWAP Hat Shop- the best on the web. Yes, yes. I know. But what is a hat shop without a hat? Do you have any hats at all? Of course we do. This is the best hat shop on the web! Alright. Now we're getting somewhere. Do you have a clown hat? Nope. A fez? Pez? Sure, I'd love one! Mmmmm-mmmm! No, no. Not *pez*, a *fez*. It's a type of hat! Oh, of course. No, we don't have any fezes, we have no fezes today. A sombrero? Si. I mean no. I should have taken more years of Spanish. A petasus? Don't they fly in the air? No, sorry... Not a pegasus, you twit. What about a bonnet? What about one? Do you have one? Well, why didn't you ask me then, ma'am? Nope. A hennin? No. A Gainsborough hat? Not right now, I'm afraid. A cloche? Bless you. What? Oh, sorry.... I thought that was a fancy, refined sneeze. No, no. it's a hat. Do you have it? No. Do you have a tricorne? Not anymore, sorry. A Cavalier hat? No, ma'am. A pelo? Nope. A harlequin hat? I don't believe so...no. A tam-o-shanter? No. A rain hat? It isn't raining, is it? no, no I don't believe so. Then you really don't need one now, do you? No, I do believe you're right. Do you have a mortarboard? Sorry, miss, no. A hunting hat? Not here, but try that hunting/fishing store down the street, over on the left corner. Well I don't want to go out of my way. I just made a quick stop in to get a hat. You see, a giant monkey... Yes, yes, miss. i know. Well, it looks like you're in the right place for all your hat needs! Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm looking for a tiara. Are you now? Why, do you have a date with a prince? (wink wink, nudge nudge) No, I just need something to put atop my head. I seem to have lost my hat to a giant monkey. Really? Do tell- I don't believe you have told me the tragic story of losing your hat. Oh, well, I was just walking down the street a few moments ago, when a giant monkey came by and ran off with my hat. It was at that time that I approached your store, and decided to see if I could find a hat. You, uh, *do* sell hats, don't you? Of course, miss- we're the best hat shop on the web! Delightful. Do you happen to have a football helmet? A football helmet, eh? ......no. A German headress? Fresh out. They seem to be all the rage thesedays- you know those teenybopper magazines, when they say something is in style, everyone goes nuts and buys them. Right, right. Know exactly what you mean. How about a derby? No. A bowler? No. A simple baseball cap? I'm afraid not. Well, you must have *something* in the way of a hat? Yes, we do! We're TPWAP Hat Shop... Oh, quit it already. I know that. What do you have to offer me to place upon my head? ...Nothing, miss. Sorry. I've just been wasting your time.... Well, actually, I do have this newspaper, which when folded correctly will make a lovely hat. Oh, well, how much do you want for it? 50 cents, plus 50 cents for labor, plus 5 cents tax...$1.05. Well, I can fold it myself. that will save me 50 cents. Okay, so your new total will be $1.10. $1.00 for the paper, and 10 cents tax. What!?! You just jacked up the price! It now costs me an extra 5 cents for me to fold my own bloody newspaper to wear as a hat because your supposed hat shop has no hats? Inflation, my dear. Also,as we speak, this paper is becoming a collector's item! Yesterday's news! It's only natural that the price goes up too. All in all, it's a fair deal. Alright, alright. I'll take it. Here's $1.10. Thank you! Come again! Next time, remember- TPWAP Hat Shop for all your hat needs! Yes, right. [mumble,mumble] Good day. Have a nice day! Ohh! A Story by Xris! Xris'Journal! Visit the Nonsense of the Week archives! Read all about us! The thingie about Xris that Aly filled out The thingie about Aly that Xris filled out Links! A Pic of Me(Xris/Krisco)! A Short Story! Some Common Ailments... The Song By Xris! Xris proves that we really learn stuff in school! A Pic of Me (Aly)! The Page Without A Pineapple! Xris' Essay of the Month for August! ?????! Xris' Essay Archives! Xris' Horsie! A couple of Aly's old poems! Cartoons from a dark period(hee hee) in Xris' life! YAY! Our Story! Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!
Hello, hello, and welcome to our humble adobe. This is Aly, one of your hostesses with the mostesses.And I'll be joining Aly today. I'm Xris (pronounced Kris). I don't have exactly as much as Aly, but I have enough to get by. You don't have exactly as much of WHAT, Xris? (Pronounced 'Kris') Anyway, the visiting hours are 9 to 5, but we can probably sneak you in later or earlier. We're cool like that.Hot dog.Yeppers.... which, by the way, rhymes with peppers.... oh, now I lost my train of thought. Toot-toot!All aboard! This train makes stops at all mental institutions from here to California. Strangely enough, we don't get off at any of them.We have many things to offer here at The Page With A Pineapple, at low discount prices. Sure, you won't want to get half the stuff, but at these prices, who can resist?!?!?This is the end of the bar. Pineapple Buddy Appreciation Day - August 26!! Before reading: this main page is an idea me and Xris came up with because we love Monty Python's skit 'The Cheese Shop'. We are not copying them, because in no place do we mention 'cheese', except in this opening paragraph. This is best read in your head, in an english accent. And REMEMBER - there really is no TPWAP Hat Shop, so please do not send in your orders for hats. Oh, but DO sign the guestbook! Thank you, and enjoy your stay. Hello, and welcome to The Page With A Pineapple Hat Shop. The best on the web. Here, we have all sorts of great hats. Perfect! A giant monkey came bounding down the street, tore the hat off my head, and ran off with it. Well, this is the place for you, ma'am. Terrific. I am in dire need of a Gilligan hat. Oh, I'm sorry, the last one was bought yesterday. Oh. Oh, well then... Do you have an Indian turban? Sorry, ma'am. We were expecting our shipment to come this morning, but it never showed up. No turbans? How about a top hat? The Planter's nut just bought our entire stock. The entire stock? How many top hats does he need? He's only got one head! I'm sorry, ma'am, but you know these rich nuts.... Actually, I don't. I haven't ever met one. Umm, well, your loss, I guess. Anyway, you came here to but a hat, I assume? Yes, yes. Quite so. You see, a giant monkey... Oh, I remember now. Go on, go on. Alright. Yes, let's see. Do you have any bucket hats? Let me check.........no. A beret? No, ma'am. A ten gallon cowboy hat? Mmmm...no. A twelve gallon cowboy hat? Only a twelve and a half gallon cowboy hat, ma'am. Oh, well that will do. I'll take one of those. Oh, I don't think you want one of those. It's not really your style. Well, who are you to tell me what my style is?I said I want a 12 1/2gallon cowboy hat, and I expect to get one. Ma'am, I really don't think you want one. Yes, I do. Whatever happened to the 'the customer is always right' policy? Okay, let me get it. (footsteps) Oh, I'm sorry. The moths ate it. And the rats. It's full of holes. Well, fine then. Do you have a beanie? No. Not even the rainbow kind with the cute little helicopter thingie on top? Nope. My nephew has one of those, though.... How much? My nephew or the hat? Hmmmmm....(mumbling to self) I have been quite lonely lately...(aloud)No. The hat. I'm sorry. It's not for sale. What! How much for the boy? $100.... Oh, wait. I promised not to try to sell him again. He is also not for sale. Then why did you ask me if I wanted him? I forgot. Please forgive me, ma'am. [mumble mumble mumble] Yes, yes. All is forgiven.Now, do you have a fishing hat? Yes. Is it for sale? Is what for sale? The fishing hat. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking to me. You see, my sister's cousin's husband's mother-in-law's uncle's brother's name was Fishinghat, and I thought you were talking to me. Sorry about that. Oh. But how is it your name? You aren't your sister's cousin's brother- whatever, are you? Ummm...(confused pause) maybe. So anyway, this is TPWAP Hat Shop- the best on the web. Yes, yes. I know. But what is a hat shop without a hat? Do you have any hats at all? Of course we do. This is the best hat shop on the web! Alright. Now we're getting somewhere. Do you have a clown hat? Nope. A fez? Pez? Sure, I'd love one! Mmmmm-mmmm! No, no. Not *pez*, a *fez*. It's a type of hat! Oh, of course. No, we don't have any fezes, we have no fezes today. A sombrero? Si. I mean no. I should have taken more years of Spanish. A petasus? Don't they fly in the air? No, sorry... Not a pegasus, you twit. What about a bonnet? What about one? Do you have one? Well, why didn't you ask me then, ma'am? Nope. A hennin? No. A Gainsborough hat? Not right now, I'm afraid. A cloche? Bless you. What? Oh, sorry.... I thought that was a fancy, refined sneeze. No, no. it's a hat. Do you have it? No. Do you have a tricorne? Not anymore, sorry. A Cavalier hat? No, ma'am. A pelo? Nope. A harlequin hat? I don't believe so...no. A tam-o-shanter? No. A rain hat? It isn't raining, is it? no, no I don't believe so. Then you really don't need one now, do you? No, I do believe you're right. Do you have a mortarboard? Sorry, miss, no. A hunting hat? Not here, but try that hunting/fishing store down the street, over on the left corner. Well I don't want to go out of my way. I just made a quick stop in to get a hat. You see, a giant monkey... Yes, yes, miss. i know. Well, it looks like you're in the right place for all your hat needs! Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm looking for a tiara. Are you now? Why, do you have a date with a prince? (wink wink, nudge nudge) No, I just need something to put atop my head. I seem to have lost my hat to a giant monkey. Really? Do tell- I don't believe you have told me the tragic story of losing your hat. Oh, well, I was just walking down the street a few moments ago, when a giant monkey came by and ran off with my hat. It was at that time that I approached your store, and decided to see if I could find a hat. You, uh, *do* sell hats, don't you? Of course, miss- we're the best hat shop on the web! Delightful. Do you happen to have a football helmet? A football helmet, eh? ......no. A German headress? Fresh out. They seem to be all the rage thesedays- you know those teenybopper magazines, when they say something is in style, everyone goes nuts and buys them. Right, right. Know exactly what you mean. How about a derby? No. A bowler? No. A simple baseball cap? I'm afraid not. Well, you must have *something* in the way of a hat? Yes, we do! We're TPWAP Hat Shop... Oh, quit it already. I know that. What do you have to offer me to place upon my head? ...Nothing, miss. Sorry. I've just been wasting your time.... Well, actually, I do have this newspaper, which when folded correctly will make a lovely hat. Oh, well, how much do you want for it? 50 cents, plus 50 cents for labor, plus 5 cents tax...$1.05. Well, I can fold it myself. that will save me 50 cents. Okay, so your new total will be $1.10. $1.00 for the paper, and 10 cents tax. What!?! You just jacked up the price! It now costs me an extra 5 cents for me to fold my own bloody newspaper to wear as a hat because your supposed hat shop has no hats? Inflation, my dear. Also,as we speak, this paper is becoming a collector's item! Yesterday's news! It's only natural that the price goes up too. All in all, it's a fair deal. Alright, alright. I'll take it. Here's $1.10. Thank you! Come again! Next time, remember- TPWAP Hat Shop for all your hat needs! Yes, right. [mumble,mumble] Good day. Have a nice day! Ohh! A Story by Xris! Xris'Journal! Visit the Nonsense of the Week archives! Read all about us! The thingie about Xris that Aly filled out The thingie about Aly that Xris filled out Links! A Pic of Me(Xris/Krisco)! A Short Story! Some Common Ailments... The Song By Xris! Xris proves that we really learn stuff in school! A Pic of Me (Aly)! The Page Without A Pineapple! Xris' Essay of the Month for August! ?????! Xris' Essay Archives! Xris' Horsie! A couple of Aly's old poems! Cartoons from a dark period(hee hee) in Xris' life! YAY! Our Story! Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!
Pineapple Buddy Appreciation Day - August 26!! Before reading: this main page is an idea me and Xris came up with because we love Monty Python's skit 'The Cheese Shop'. We are not copying them, because in no place do we mention 'cheese', except in this opening paragraph. This is best read in your head, in an english accent. And REMEMBER - there really is no TPWAP Hat Shop, so please do not send in your orders for hats. Oh, but DO sign the guestbook! Thank you, and enjoy your stay. Hello, and welcome to The Page With A Pineapple Hat Shop. The best on the web. Here, we have all sorts of great hats. Perfect! A giant monkey came bounding down the street, tore the hat off my head, and ran off with it. Well, this is the place for you, ma'am. Terrific. I am in dire need of a Gilligan hat. Oh, I'm sorry, the last one was bought yesterday. Oh. Oh, well then... Do you have an Indian turban? Sorry, ma'am. We were expecting our shipment to come this morning, but it never showed up. No turbans? How about a top hat? The Planter's nut just bought our entire stock. The entire stock? How many top hats does he need? He's only got one head! I'm sorry, ma'am, but you know these rich nuts.... Actually, I don't. I haven't ever met one. Umm, well, your loss, I guess. Anyway, you came here to but a hat, I assume? Yes, yes. Quite so. You see, a giant monkey... Oh, I remember now. Go on, go on. Alright. Yes, let's see. Do you have any bucket hats? Let me check.........no. A beret? No, ma'am. A ten gallon cowboy hat? Mmmm...no. A twelve gallon cowboy hat? Only a twelve and a half gallon cowboy hat, ma'am. Oh, well that will do. I'll take one of those. Oh, I don't think you want one of those. It's not really your style. Well, who are you to tell me what my style is?I said I want a 12 1/2gallon cowboy hat, and I expect to get one. Ma'am, I really don't think you want one. Yes, I do. Whatever happened to the 'the customer is always right' policy? Okay, let me get it. (footsteps) Oh, I'm sorry. The moths ate it. And the rats. It's full of holes. Well, fine then. Do you have a beanie? No. Not even the rainbow kind with the cute little helicopter thingie on top? Nope. My nephew has one of those, though.... How much? My nephew or the hat? Hmmmmm....(mumbling to self) I have been quite lonely lately...(aloud)No. The hat. I'm sorry. It's not for sale. What! How much for the boy? $100.... Oh, wait. I promised not to try to sell him again. He is also not for sale. Then why did you ask me if I wanted him? I forgot. Please forgive me, ma'am. [mumble mumble mumble] Yes, yes. All is forgiven.Now, do you have a fishing hat? Yes. Is it for sale? Is what for sale? The fishing hat. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking to me. You see, my sister's cousin's husband's mother-in-law's uncle's brother's name was Fishinghat, and I thought you were talking to me. Sorry about that. Oh. But how is it your name? You aren't your sister's cousin's brother- whatever, are you? Ummm...(confused pause) maybe. So anyway, this is TPWAP Hat Shop- the best on the web. Yes, yes. I know. But what is a hat shop without a hat? Do you have any hats at all? Of course we do. This is the best hat shop on the web! Alright. Now we're getting somewhere. Do you have a clown hat? Nope. A fez? Pez? Sure, I'd love one! Mmmmm-mmmm! No, no. Not *pez*, a *fez*. It's a type of hat! Oh, of course. No, we don't have any fezes, we have no fezes today. A sombrero? Si. I mean no. I should have taken more years of Spanish. A petasus? Don't they fly in the air? No, sorry... Not a pegasus, you twit. What about a bonnet? What about one? Do you have one? Well, why didn't you ask me then, ma'am? Nope. A hennin? No. A Gainsborough hat? Not right now, I'm afraid. A cloche? Bless you. What? Oh, sorry.... I thought that was a fancy, refined sneeze. No, no. it's a hat. Do you have it? No. Do you have a tricorne? Not anymore, sorry. A Cavalier hat? No, ma'am. A pelo? Nope. A harlequin hat? I don't believe so...no. A tam-o-shanter? No. A rain hat? It isn't raining, is it? no, no I don't believe so. Then you really don't need one now, do you? No, I do believe you're right. Do you have a mortarboard? Sorry, miss, no. A hunting hat? Not here, but try that hunting/fishing store down the street, over on the left corner. Well I don't want to go out of my way. I just made a quick stop in to get a hat. You see, a giant monkey... Yes, yes, miss. i know. Well, it looks like you're in the right place for all your hat needs! Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm looking for a tiara. Are you now? Why, do you have a date with a prince? (wink wink, nudge nudge) No, I just need something to put atop my head. I seem to have lost my hat to a giant monkey. Really? Do tell- I don't believe you have told me the tragic story of losing your hat. Oh, well, I was just walking down the street a few moments ago, when a giant monkey came by and ran off with my hat. It was at that time that I approached your store, and decided to see if I could find a hat. You, uh, *do* sell hats, don't you? Of course, miss- we're the best hat shop on the web! Delightful. Do you happen to have a football helmet? A football helmet, eh? ......no. A German headress? Fresh out. They seem to be all the rage thesedays- you know those teenybopper magazines, when they say something is in style, everyone goes nuts and buys them. Right, right. Know exactly what you mean. How about a derby? No. A bowler? No. A simple baseball cap? I'm afraid not. Well, you must have *something* in the way of a hat? Yes, we do! We're TPWAP Hat Shop... Oh, quit it already. I know that. What do you have to offer me to place upon my head? ...Nothing, miss. Sorry. I've just been wasting your time.... Well, actually, I do have this newspaper, which when folded correctly will make a lovely hat. Oh, well, how much do you want for it? 50 cents, plus 50 cents for labor, plus 5 cents tax...$1.05. Well, I can fold it myself. that will save me 50 cents. Okay, so your new total will be $1.10. $1.00 for the paper, and 10 cents tax. What!?! You just jacked up the price! It now costs me an extra 5 cents for me to fold my own bloody newspaper to wear as a hat because your supposed hat shop has no hats? Inflation, my dear. Also,as we speak, this paper is becoming a collector's item! Yesterday's news! It's only natural that the price goes up too. All in all, it's a fair deal. Alright, alright. I'll take it. Here's $1.10. Thank you! Come again! Next time, remember- TPWAP Hat Shop for all your hat needs! Yes, right. [mumble,mumble] Good day. Have a nice day! Ohh! A Story by Xris! Xris'Journal! Visit the Nonsense of the Week archives! Read all about us! The thingie about Xris that Aly filled out The thingie about Aly that Xris filled out Links! A Pic of Me(Xris/Krisco)! A Short Story! Some Common Ailments... The Song By Xris! Xris proves that we really learn stuff in school! A Pic of Me (Aly)! The Page Without A Pineapple! Xris' Essay of the Month for August! ?????! Xris' Essay Archives! Xris' Horsie! A couple of Aly's old poems! Cartoons from a dark period(hee hee) in Xris' life! YAY! Our Story! Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!
Before reading: this main page is an idea me and Xris came up with because we love Monty Python's skit 'The Cheese Shop'. We are not copying them, because in no place do we mention 'cheese', except in this opening paragraph. This is best read in your head, in an english accent. And REMEMBER - there really is no TPWAP Hat Shop, so please do not send in your orders for hats. Oh, but DO sign the guestbook! Thank you, and enjoy your stay. Hello, and welcome to The Page With A Pineapple Hat Shop. The best on the web. Here, we have all sorts of great hats. Perfect! A giant monkey came bounding down the street, tore the hat off my head, and ran off with it. Well, this is the place for you, ma'am. Terrific. I am in dire need of a Gilligan hat. Oh, I'm sorry, the last one was bought yesterday. Oh. Oh, well then... Do you have an Indian turban? Sorry, ma'am. We were expecting our shipment to come this morning, but it never showed up. No turbans? How about a top hat? The Planter's nut just bought our entire stock. The entire stock? How many top hats does he need? He's only got one head! I'm sorry, ma'am, but you know these rich nuts.... Actually, I don't. I haven't ever met one. Umm, well, your loss, I guess. Anyway, you came here to but a hat, I assume? Yes, yes. Quite so. You see, a giant monkey... Oh, I remember now. Go on, go on. Alright. Yes, let's see. Do you have any bucket hats? Let me check.........no. A beret? No, ma'am. A ten gallon cowboy hat? Mmmm...no. A twelve gallon cowboy hat? Only a twelve and a half gallon cowboy hat, ma'am. Oh, well that will do. I'll take one of those. Oh, I don't think you want one of those. It's not really your style. Well, who are you to tell me what my style is?I said I want a 12 1/2gallon cowboy hat, and I expect to get one. Ma'am, I really don't think you want one. Yes, I do. Whatever happened to the 'the customer is always right' policy? Okay, let me get it. (footsteps) Oh, I'm sorry. The moths ate it. And the rats. It's full of holes. Well, fine then. Do you have a beanie? No. Not even the rainbow kind with the cute little helicopter thingie on top? Nope. My nephew has one of those, though.... How much? My nephew or the hat? Hmmmmm....(mumbling to self) I have been quite lonely lately...(aloud)No. The hat. I'm sorry. It's not for sale. What! How much for the boy? $100.... Oh, wait. I promised not to try to sell him again. He is also not for sale. Then why did you ask me if I wanted him? I forgot. Please forgive me, ma'am. [mumble mumble mumble] Yes, yes. All is forgiven.Now, do you have a fishing hat? Yes. Is it for sale? Is what for sale? The fishing hat. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking to me. You see, my sister's cousin's husband's mother-in-law's uncle's brother's name was Fishinghat, and I thought you were talking to me. Sorry about that. Oh. But how is it your name? You aren't your sister's cousin's brother- whatever, are you? Ummm...(confused pause) maybe. So anyway, this is TPWAP Hat Shop- the best on the web. Yes, yes. I know. But what is a hat shop without a hat? Do you have any hats at all? Of course we do. This is the best hat shop on the web! Alright. Now we're getting somewhere. Do you have a clown hat? Nope. A fez? Pez? Sure, I'd love one! Mmmmm-mmmm! No, no. Not *pez*, a *fez*. It's a type of hat! Oh, of course. No, we don't have any fezes, we have no fezes today. A sombrero? Si. I mean no. I should have taken more years of Spanish. A petasus? Don't they fly in the air? No, sorry... Not a pegasus, you twit. What about a bonnet? What about one? Do you have one? Well, why didn't you ask me then, ma'am? Nope. A hennin? No. A Gainsborough hat? Not right now, I'm afraid. A cloche? Bless you. What? Oh, sorry.... I thought that was a fancy, refined sneeze. No, no. it's a hat. Do you have it? No. Do you have a tricorne? Not anymore, sorry. A Cavalier hat? No, ma'am. A pelo? Nope. A harlequin hat? I don't believe so...no. A tam-o-shanter? No. A rain hat? It isn't raining, is it? no, no I don't believe so. Then you really don't need one now, do you? No, I do believe you're right. Do you have a mortarboard? Sorry, miss, no. A hunting hat? Not here, but try that hunting/fishing store down the street, over on the left corner. Well I don't want to go out of my way. I just made a quick stop in to get a hat. You see, a giant monkey... Yes, yes, miss. i know. Well, it looks like you're in the right place for all your hat needs! Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm looking for a tiara. Are you now? Why, do you have a date with a prince? (wink wink, nudge nudge) No, I just need something to put atop my head. I seem to have lost my hat to a giant monkey. Really? Do tell- I don't believe you have told me the tragic story of losing your hat. Oh, well, I was just walking down the street a few moments ago, when a giant monkey came by and ran off with my hat. It was at that time that I approached your store, and decided to see if I could find a hat. You, uh, *do* sell hats, don't you? Of course, miss- we're the best hat shop on the web! Delightful. Do you happen to have a football helmet? A football helmet, eh? ......no. A German headress? Fresh out. They seem to be all the rage thesedays- you know those teenybopper magazines, when they say something is in style, everyone goes nuts and buys them. Right, right. Know exactly what you mean. How about a derby? No. A bowler? No. A simple baseball cap? I'm afraid not. Well, you must have *something* in the way of a hat? Yes, we do! We're TPWAP Hat Shop... Oh, quit it already. I know that. What do you have to offer me to place upon my head? ...Nothing, miss. Sorry. I've just been wasting your time.... Well, actually, I do have this newspaper, which when folded correctly will make a lovely hat. Oh, well, how much do you want for it? 50 cents, plus 50 cents for labor, plus 5 cents tax...$1.05. Well, I can fold it myself. that will save me 50 cents. Okay, so your new total will be $1.10. $1.00 for the paper, and 10 cents tax. What!?! You just jacked up the price! It now costs me an extra 5 cents for me to fold my own bloody newspaper to wear as a hat because your supposed hat shop has no hats? Inflation, my dear. Also,as we speak, this paper is becoming a collector's item! Yesterday's news! It's only natural that the price goes up too. All in all, it's a fair deal. Alright, alright. I'll take it. Here's $1.10. Thank you! Come again! Next time, remember- TPWAP Hat Shop for all your hat needs! Yes, right. [mumble,mumble] Good day. Have a nice day! Ohh! A Story by Xris! Xris'Journal! Visit the Nonsense of the Week archives! Read all about us! The thingie about Xris that Aly filled out The thingie about Aly that Xris filled out Links! A Pic of Me(Xris/Krisco)! A Short Story! Some Common Ailments... The Song By Xris! Xris proves that we really learn stuff in school! A Pic of Me (Aly)! The Page Without A Pineapple! Xris' Essay of the Month for August! ?????! Xris' Essay Archives! Xris' Horsie! A couple of Aly's old poems! Cartoons from a dark period(hee hee) in Xris' life! YAY! Our Story! Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!
Hello, and welcome to The Page With A Pineapple Hat Shop. The best on the web. Here, we have all sorts of great hats. Perfect! A giant monkey came bounding down the street, tore the hat off my head, and ran off with it. Well, this is the place for you, ma'am. Terrific. I am in dire need of a Gilligan hat. Oh, I'm sorry, the last one was bought yesterday. Oh. Oh, well then... Do you have an Indian turban? Sorry, ma'am. We were expecting our shipment to come this morning, but it never showed up. No turbans? How about a top hat? The Planter's nut just bought our entire stock. The entire stock? How many top hats does he need? He's only got one head! I'm sorry, ma'am, but you know these rich nuts.... Actually, I don't. I haven't ever met one. Umm, well, your loss, I guess. Anyway, you came here to but a hat, I assume? Yes, yes. Quite so. You see, a giant monkey... Oh, I remember now. Go on, go on. Alright. Yes, let's see. Do you have any bucket hats? Let me check.........no. A beret? No, ma'am. A ten gallon cowboy hat? Mmmm...no. A twelve gallon cowboy hat? Only a twelve and a half gallon cowboy hat, ma'am. Oh, well that will do. I'll take one of those. Oh, I don't think you want one of those. It's not really your style. Well, who are you to tell me what my style is?I said I want a 12 1/2gallon cowboy hat, and I expect to get one. Ma'am, I really don't think you want one. Yes, I do. Whatever happened to the 'the customer is always right' policy? Okay, let me get it. (footsteps) Oh, I'm sorry. The moths ate it. And the rats. It's full of holes. Well, fine then. Do you have a beanie? No. Not even the rainbow kind with the cute little helicopter thingie on top? Nope. My nephew has one of those, though.... How much? My nephew or the hat? Hmmmmm....(mumbling to self) I have been quite lonely lately...(aloud)No. The hat. I'm sorry. It's not for sale. What! How much for the boy? $100.... Oh, wait. I promised not to try to sell him again. He is also not for sale. Then why did you ask me if I wanted him? I forgot. Please forgive me, ma'am. [mumble mumble mumble] Yes, yes. All is forgiven.Now, do you have a fishing hat? Yes. Is it for sale? Is what for sale? The fishing hat. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking to me. You see, my sister's cousin's husband's mother-in-law's uncle's brother's name was Fishinghat, and I thought you were talking to me. Sorry about that. Oh. But how is it your name? You aren't your sister's cousin's brother- whatever, are you? Ummm...(confused pause) maybe. So anyway, this is TPWAP Hat Shop- the best on the web. Yes, yes. I know. But what is a hat shop without a hat? Do you have any hats at all? Of course we do. This is the best hat shop on the web! Alright. Now we're getting somewhere. Do you have a clown hat? Nope. A fez? Pez? Sure, I'd love one! Mmmmm-mmmm! No, no. Not *pez*, a *fez*. It's a type of hat! Oh, of course. No, we don't have any fezes, we have no fezes today. A sombrero? Si. I mean no. I should have taken more years of Spanish. A petasus? Don't they fly in the air? No, sorry... Not a pegasus, you twit. What about a bonnet? What about one? Do you have one? Well, why didn't you ask me then, ma'am? Nope. A hennin? No. A Gainsborough hat? Not right now, I'm afraid. A cloche? Bless you. What? Oh, sorry.... I thought that was a fancy, refined sneeze. No, no. it's a hat. Do you have it? No. Do you have a tricorne? Not anymore, sorry. A Cavalier hat? No, ma'am. A pelo? Nope. A harlequin hat? I don't believe so...no. A tam-o-shanter? No. A rain hat? It isn't raining, is it? no, no I don't believe so. Then you really don't need one now, do you? No, I do believe you're right. Do you have a mortarboard? Sorry, miss, no. A hunting hat? Not here, but try that hunting/fishing store down the street, over on the left corner. Well I don't want to go out of my way. I just made a quick stop in to get a hat. You see, a giant monkey... Yes, yes, miss. i know. Well, it looks like you're in the right place for all your hat needs! Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm looking for a tiara. Are you now? Why, do you have a date with a prince? (wink wink, nudge nudge) No, I just need something to put atop my head. I seem to have lost my hat to a giant monkey. Really? Do tell- I don't believe you have told me the tragic story of losing your hat. Oh, well, I was just walking down the street a few moments ago, when a giant monkey came by and ran off with my hat. It was at that time that I approached your store, and decided to see if I could find a hat. You, uh, *do* sell hats, don't you? Of course, miss- we're the best hat shop on the web! Delightful. Do you happen to have a football helmet? A football helmet, eh? ......no. A German headress? Fresh out. They seem to be all the rage thesedays- you know those teenybopper magazines, when they say something is in style, everyone goes nuts and buys them. Right, right. Know exactly what you mean. How about a derby? No. A bowler? No. A simple baseball cap? I'm afraid not. Well, you must have *something* in the way of a hat? Yes, we do! We're TPWAP Hat Shop... Oh, quit it already. I know that. What do you have to offer me to place upon my head? ...Nothing, miss. Sorry. I've just been wasting your time.... Well, actually, I do have this newspaper, which when folded correctly will make a lovely hat. Oh, well, how much do you want for it? 50 cents, plus 50 cents for labor, plus 5 cents tax...$1.05. Well, I can fold it myself. that will save me 50 cents. Okay, so your new total will be $1.10. $1.00 for the paper, and 10 cents tax. What!?! You just jacked up the price! It now costs me an extra 5 cents for me to fold my own bloody newspaper to wear as a hat because your supposed hat shop has no hats? Inflation, my dear. Also,as we speak, this paper is becoming a collector's item! Yesterday's news! It's only natural that the price goes up too. All in all, it's a fair deal. Alright, alright. I'll take it. Here's $1.10. Thank you! Come again! Next time, remember- TPWAP Hat Shop for all your hat needs! Yes, right. [mumble,mumble] Good day. Have a nice day! Ohh! A Story by Xris! Xris'Journal! Visit the Nonsense of the Week archives! Read all about us! The thingie about Xris that Aly filled out The thingie about Aly that Xris filled out Links! A Pic of Me(Xris/Krisco)! A Short Story! Some Common Ailments... The Song By Xris! Xris proves that we really learn stuff in school! A Pic of Me (Aly)! The Page Without A Pineapple! Xris' Essay of the Month for August! ?????! Xris' Essay Archives! Xris' Horsie! A couple of Aly's old poems! Cartoons from a dark period(hee hee) in Xris' life! YAY! Our Story! Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!
Ohh! A Story by Xris!
Xris'Journal!
Visit the Nonsense of the Week archives!
Read all about us!
The thingie about Xris that Aly filled out
The thingie about Aly that Xris filled out
Links!
A Pic of Me(Xris/Krisco)!
A Short Story!
Some Common Ailments...
The Song By Xris!
Xris proves that we really learn stuff in school!
A Pic of Me (Aly)!
The Page Without A Pineapple!
Xris' Essay of the Month for August!
?????!
Xris' Essay Archives!
Xris' Horsie!
A couple of Aly's old poems!
Cartoons from a dark period(hee hee) in Xris' life!
YAY! Our Story!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)!
Please sign our Guestbook View our Guestbook
THE NONSENSE OF THE WEEK!! It is against the character of the epitome to invariably create a particle for a satellite of tomorrow. CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICKT H A N K Y O U W A S H Y ! ! I WANNA GO GO GO ON!
It is against the character of the epitome to invariably create a particle for a satellite of tomorrow. CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICKT H A N K Y O U W A S H Y ! ! I WANNA GO GO GO ON!
CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICKT H A N K Y O U W A S H Y ! ! I WANNA GO GO GO ON!
I WANNA GO GO GO ON!