DAVID FROST: But first of all a question. How is it possible that an affluent white man from Surrey,
England, could become the greatest blues guitarist in the world. When blues was after all the music of
opressed black people in the American South? Well it happened and he was awarded the status of a
deity by the time he was 25. Clapton is God they said. Clapton is here we say. Ladies and gentleman
Eric Clapton.
ERIC CLAPTON: Yes lovely.
DF: Rocketing, rocketing out of the folks. Actually the thing I was saying about blues and so on, and
the illogic of Surrey and Mississippi and all of that, actually there was something you said once about,
the first time you heard blues you identified with that music the way you had with nothing else, is that
right?
EC: Yes, yes, as long, well I think I was about eight or nine years old, as long back as then. I think it
was Uncle Mac, do you remember Uncle Mac on Saturday mornings used to play, every now and then
he'd play one sort of off-beat tune. It used to be usually things like the Runaway Train Came Over The
Hill and She Blew or something like, or novelty music, very much novelty music. And every now and
then he'd play something, and I think it was Chuck Berry, Memphis or something like that or maybe it
was.. Terry and Brownie McGhee and I didn't even know that it was black music. I could, you know I
didn't know about black and white being different stuff, you know, just something got me about it.
Something stirred me and I responded and I just, from then on I became a student really of that.
DF: And was that, you said looking back on it, it was, was it the cry of pain in the music?
EC: Well, in retrospect...
DF: In retropsect?
EC: I can see that that's probably what it was, it was some kind of...it was me identifying with some,
some kind of cry of suffering yes, pain, because I had a very confused, tumultuous childhood, I mean
no one has a perfect childhood but mine...
DF: Yours was outstandingly tumultuous wasn't it?
EC: Yes pretty strange...
DF: You thought your grandparents were your parents?
EC: My parents yes.
DF: For years?
EC: Uhm
DF: And you thought your sister, your mother was your sister?
EC: yes.
DF: Is that the right way round?
EC: Yes.
DF: I'm getting confused, you must have been very confused?
EC: Yes, I'm still confused, I'm still trying to unravel it and actually the more I find out about my family
the more I found out that it was actually pretty widespread around, all over the place in England,
especially during the war, during the end of the war.
DF: Oh yes because you were born in '45 weren't you yes.
EC: And it seemed to be that a lot of things were going on that had to be covered up, you know, one
way or another. It was like illegitimacy and just sort of tangled webs of deceit inside families, that I, I
was just really one of those.
DF: Yes and that was, that was why they said grandparents were parents and so on, was to cover up
the...
EC: Yes to preserve the staus quo.
DF: Yes because it was really shocking in those days rather than much more common then wasn't it?
EC: Yes.
DF: And you said that a lot of your confusion, well you've said that you're not very good at
relationships and so on, and a lot of it goes right back to day one you said, does it?
EC: Yes I think I'm still really trying to come to terms with how I feel about, you know, about human
relationships. And developing trust, developing trust and feeling safe with intimacy you know, which is,
I suppose most people take for granted or maybe they don't I don't know. But for me it's very difficult
for me to completely open up and trust somebody, I'm very suspicious and that's why I went to music,
I found that to be a safe place to go you see.
DAVID FROST: And you said, you didn't, before you can love anyone else you've got to love me as it
were, you've got to love yourself and that was one of the things you...
ERIC CLAPTON: Well that's the hardest thing to do isn't it, I've found.
DF: And you think that insecurity goes back, or that not loving yourself goes back, right back to...?
EC: Yes I'll tell you a funny story actually, that I mean when I was about, when I discovered most of
this stuff and I don't really remember specifically how, maybe it was a letter or other kids, you know
how these things sort of come to light, that my parents weren't actually my parents. About that time I
was, I was playing around with my grandma's compact, with a little mirror you know, and I saw myself
in two mirrors for the first time and I don't know about you but it was like hearing your voice on a tape
machine for the first...and I didn't, I, I was so upset. I saw a receding chin and a broken nose and I
thought my life is over, this is like at the age of eight you know.
DF: Yes, yes.
EC: And I ran away from me at that, I didn't want anything to do with me then, from that point on.
DF: And you, you're not still runnung are you?
EC: I think I'm sort of finally coming to find out who I am, it's taken me a long time, I'm nearly 50 years
old and I don't really know who I am you know. But I don't know if that's so uncommon either.
DF: No, what have you found out so far?
EC: Well I'm not a bad bloke after all.
DF: Good, you see you're starting...no actually and you wouldn't have said that a few years ago
actually, you had some self-hate there a few years ago?
EC: No I wouldn't, oh I did yes, yes.
DF: And that's probably why you did some of those diabolical things to your body wasn't it?
EC: Uhm. Quite a lot of them yes.
DF: Yes.
EC: Yes.
DF: The, I mean was that because you had a naturally addictive character or what?
EC: Well I thik it ties in with that, you know having discovered that I didn't like who I was that I had to
go and you know and bend myself to make myself attractive to other people. And I found that when I
drank or took drugs or whatever or changed myself from the inside out that I felt I was more
acceptable to other people.
DF: And so that was with well drugs was that was it, but drink is partially to do with getting rid of
inhibitions is it?
EC: I think so yes. I mean my experience was that if I had a few drinks I could do things that I
couldn't, I wouldn't normally be able to do otherwise. I mean my tounge would get loose and I'c be
able to talk to girls and you know that sort of thing.
DF: You have never had much trouble about talking ti girls really?
EC: Well actually, I have I actually have I mean but that's, one of the first things I did want to overcome
I must admit.
DF: Yes, you were eight at the time yes. Which is more difficult to kick drugs or drink?
EC: In my case alcohol was very hard because I was so, I loved drinking, I mean being an Englishman
I think drinking's so much much part of our heritage, especially the country pub, and on a summer's
day. Today, I mean you see people sitting outside pubs with lager, you know pints of lager and it looks
so attractive to me you know. And I don't , really I'd love to do that but unfortunately I wouldn't be
able to stop you see, I'd just go on and on and on.
DF: Yes so it's six or seven years since you had a drink isn't it?
EC: Yes it'll be seven years in November yes.
DF: Yes, we'll have a party.
EC: Yes.
DF: Non-alcoholic party.
EC: Yes.
DF: With Santogen and Wincarnis and... now the, you, you said the other day somewhere that you had
really made a discovery also in your journey of discovery, talking about the beautiful things you do to
the body as well,that, that you said you decided that sex is really meant just for procreation?
EC: Yes someone else told me that I'd said that... I don't remember saying...
DF: And that you were much happier in a monogamous relationship?
EC: That's true actually.
DF: But the combination of the two quotes I thought when I read it in a magazine, and I thought well
there's young people who'll read that and say, it's all right for Eric to say that now he's 49 and had 30
years of it but... I'm 18 if I follow my hero I'm not going to get much at all?
EC: Not true because if the follow their hero they'll do what I did and come to the same realization...
DF: At the end yes.
EC: In the end.
DF: But now, but now you're, but now you're much happier in a monogamous relationship with no, no
messing about?
EC: It's very hard, I find it very, very difficult, very difficult. I mean it's the hardest work, just, I mean
just being true to one person and thinking, thinking of somebody else. I mean I'm a very, very selfish
man when it comes down to it and I think part of al that Don Juanism is about self-indulgence and
selfishness isn't it. And not really wanting to think of anybody but yourself really, and not giving. And
to be in a monogamous relationship as I'm sure you know David, is like self-sacrifice isn't it, a lot of the
time isn't it?
DF: But it is terrific too?
EC: Oh the rewards are unbelievable.
DF: So would you like to get married again?
EC: I would love to get married, yes I would actually, I would.
F: And then in a totally sort of old-fashioned way, you could have a family in that way, I mean just...?
EC: Yes, I mean that's, that's ideal isn't it, but it doesn't matter, I don't mind actually so much anymore,
for me anyway.
DF: No you'd just like to have children if it happens?
EC: If it happened it would be wonderful but if it doesn't I wouldn't be at all surprised. I mean if it just
ends up with me having a bunch of pals and a girlfriend, I mean that would be, that's enough isn't it?
I'm very lucky to have what I have really.
DAVID FROST: Having what you have, you decided at some stage that just money and success
weren't it, didn't do it for you enough really...
ERIC CLAPTON: No.
DF: You decided those were sort of empty did you?
EC: Well this is all external stuff and I mean it's a long journey to find that out. I mean it doesn't make
you happy at the end of the day. I had everything a man could have at the age of 25, I was, you know
with a wonderful wife, cars and a beautiful home, a successful career but I wanted to die and I don't
understand that. So I mean there's, and I tried, you know trying to kill myself with drink and drugs, so
there was something missing in my life which, which I've sort of come to, to look upon as some kind
of spiritual, spiritual goal really.
DF: And you found that was all empty ans what's the spiritual goal, is it actually God or is it a...?
EC: Well I don't know what it is, I believe that there is something in charge of it all and that it's not me,
I mean that's, that's all I have to remember. In order to get some kind of peace of mind and be fairly
happy is that all I need to know is that I'm not running the show and that's, that's when things start to
get better for me.
DF: And you think that whoever he is, or she we should say, Ms or Mr, that whoever is running this,
you thought, you decided after what you'd livedthrough and then the plane crash you were nearly on
and all of that, that he probably wants you around for a bit longer?
EC: I think so...
DF: To do what?
EC: I think that seems to be the case. Well I suppose to do his work, whatever it is that seems to be the
next right thing. I don't know, I just know that when I ran on my own willpower and tried to do it my
way I got in an awful mess you know. And when I came to realize that I really didn't know what was
going on and the more I discovered that the better I am, the happier I am, when I just know that today's
the day and I've got something to do and I'll do it to the best of my ability and not worry about the
outcome. I'm having a much beter time when it's like that.
DF: That's great news, at the same time it's odd isn't it, some of your greater songs have, have come
out of your most down moments haven't they?
EC: Uhm, uhm.
DF: Why is that? Does pain, is pain easier to write about and compose about than happiness?
EC: What makes them great, I think that's what we're, you have to look at, is what makes them great?
What makes them great if there's any definition ofthat is that they are acceptable to other people. That
other people find them easy to identify with or they get something from it and so would it be...I mean
for instance that song that I wrote about my son...
DF: Right.
EC: Well I mean when I wrote that I was writing about my own grief and mypain but what happened is
that it touched thousands of people who've suffered similar things. That's what made it great, it wasn't
such a great song but what made it great was that it meant something to people who felt the same way.
DF: But as you wrote it was it a catharsis for you...
EC: Yes.
DF: Wass it a healing process for you?
EC: It was the only thing I could do, it was, the only thing that made sense to me was to not only bring
it out but to share it with people because I found that my natural tenedency as a human being, as a very
faulty human being is to isolate in these sort of situations and to go and hibernate and bury myself and
feel sorry for myself and generally, well generally become very self-destructive. And the heathiest thing
for me do do in actual fact is the opposite of that which is to produce something and share it with
everybody.
DF: Face up to it?
EC: Yes.
DF: Rather than run away from it, yes. And did in fact the tragedy that happened to your son, did that
affect your, your atitude to your daughter?
EC: Yes, yes it did.
DF: Has it made...
EC: I think it, not just my daughter but to by whole life, to my whole attitude towards the human race
and life as, as an existence. I saw the importance of it and how every minute is important and how
powerless I truly am over events.
DF: Powerless?
EC: Uhm.
DF: What if you had some power over your life anfd it wasn't all the man up,there, if you weren't totally
powerless what way would you want your life to go now, what directions? We mentioned in personal
terms if it happened marriage, children would be great. What about the professional part of your life, I
mean do you have plans for that or do you play it, play it by ear?
EC: I think I just want to be true to myself, to myself as it happens. I've, I've given up really trying to
think about what I want to be in five years' time, I don't really know. I'm happy being who I am right
now and I'd like to, what I'd like is for that to continue I suppose, you know just to be happy being
who I am. I mean what I'm doing right now is, probably what, I've come full circle from when I was 21
years old making, making records with a blues band and I've come back to that. I'm making, I'm
playing blues again, I've kind of really, I mean musically speaking I've got back to beinga purist and I
really want to stay that way now.
DF: And having survived, the great survivor, people who're watching this now, I mean in terms of
people, young people who are thinking of delving into drugs and so on, would you, would you say
"learn from my experience that it's, that it can destroy you', or?
EC: Wouldn't that be wonderful if I could, I mean, but I mean I hung around with people from when I
was in my early 20s who were taking very heavy drugs and who would say to me 'never do this'. And I
would say to myself, 'I'll never do thta'. And within five years I was doing it. So I don't know what
difference it makes to say anything. I can absolutely assure you that if you take drugs and you've got
ven the slightest resemblance of an addictive personality you'll end up in a lot of trouble, that's a
guarantee from my experience. But I don't have any, any belief that anyone will take any notice of it.
Because if you've got that kind of curiosity you'll do it and the more...
DF: The wat you put it though was very definite in terms of people who admire you and so on. You
also kicked the smoking habit didn't you?
EC: Yes about ten months ago I stopped smoking, yes. That ws, actually I went to a hypnotherapist, I
have to say, and I found that was very useful,very useful. In about an hour and a half it was over and I,
I probably had about two or three days that were, that were tough and then it was fine.
DF: That's fantastic because some people find it incredibly difficul?
EC: They do, I think if you've had enough you've had enough you know.
DF: Yes, yes, you were starting to wheeze were you?
EC: Oh yes, I was rattling you know, and you're taking someone out to dinner and you've got that rattle
going on in hwere...
DF: Not very romantic?
EC: No it isn't, no.
DF: Not if you're so shy with girls, it must be very...very difficult indeed. But now we've come through
this whole journey and it's an extraordinary journey, a journey of survival and so on, and I really think, I
mean you really went to the brink so many times and something pulled you back and I think you are,
you really are, I mean it's a joyous moment, you really are happy at this moment aren't you?
EC: Yes I am, yes. I am very happy, I think I've found a way to live as a result of all these near
disasters which keeps me remembering how fortunate I am and how lucky i am and how much of a
responsibility I have to stay the way I am right now.
DF: Terrific, this has been a really happy experience for me. We hope that all of you at home will be as
happy as Eric without having to go through everything he went through. Eric thanks a milion.
EC: Thank you David.