"I would like to thank my mom for giving birth to me, so I can wear tight pants."

"You can spit shine me all you want, but I'm still going to be the same old piece of tin."

"It was written about a girl I was living with. She treated me like sh*t, but I didn't care because I was so gaga."

"I want to play for the world. I want to stand in front of them naked with my guitar and play them a little showtune."

"A lot of my good qualities come from him. I just don't know him well enough to know which ones."

"Our whole next record is going to be mad phat rhymes kickin hip hop grooves. It'll be the exactly the same record, we're just gonna rap it."

"We're so girlie. It's just pitiful. I mean, come and talk to us on the bus when we're painting our nails and ask if we're going to beat women."

"I'm like borderline bitch."

"We had a little thing going, me and the camel."

"Don't grab someone's ass when they're not looking."

"Look at my penis and fear me!"

"Alright. Now hold on. Good God, Kyle. Kyle, grab that from that young lady. You gotta grab that, right there. That's the one right there. Hold on, let me see this, let me see it for a second. Now see, normally.....now I think, I thought I'd seen it all. We're starting this little dittyy, right? Be sure that we're trying to get the big rock show ending. You know that's what you do at the big rock show, right? Just as I was starting, and I was feeling it folks, I was feeling feisty, you know what I'm saying? And then, and then I saw this....(holds up a sign that reads KYLE, I'D REACH MY HAND IN YOUR POCKET ANYDAY)....Oh, and Carson, if you're out there baby, you're a hottie, too. Kyle. Kyle, I would reach my hand down in your pocket anytime, Kyle. Cuz I think you're a sexy man. With a big guitar."

This song, (laughs) it's about getting Laid!

"We just play, and play, and play, and try to do the best that we possibly can, and try NEVER to get caught with a dead hooker in our hotel room."

"Thank you for your clothes!"

"My girlfriend's here right now, ask her. She can kick my ass."

"Aww sh...gosh darnit, good golly. And it's not easy being up here and watching your language, I just wanted America to know that."

"I would just like to say that those little red laser things scare the HELL outta me. I mean, I'm up here trying to sing, and it's like, AAH!...Damn they scare the hell outta me."

"These are all the, all the ingredients. This is everything you need for a good rock show. And you got, you got lights, you got people. And you got rock and roll, and then you break it down. Then you walk out. You say something cool, what do you say? Uh, everybody, throw the goat! Give me the goat! Give me the goat! Yeah, there you go, that's worth it! That was, that was worth the whole price of admission right there, baby, throwing the goat.!"

"This ain't no f*cking Metallica concert. If we see anyone over the age of 70 crowd surfing, we're going home."

"Easy, easy....it ain't that kind of show!"

"Is everybody glad they took a little time out of their everyday, out of the hustle and the bustle? The cars and the trucks?.......I wanna thank everyone for being so sweet."

"Hey Paul...break it down Paul........ahhhhhhh, duh! Yeah see, like that? that's nice and soft and quiet. Ah? Ahhh? Awwwwww......yeah, yeah."

"You've got to admit....I mean, anyone who's over 12 years old has cheated at least once in their life, right?"

"There's a lot of things you could say about this next band. I personally just enjoy saying the name. Ladies and Gentleman, Hole."

"If you're in a band and you use the name of the band in a song, you're just a jerk."

"Kyle, were you sucking her toes?!"


E-mail us at
Paulyschik@aol.com