The Planet Smashers

All songs written and performed by The Planet Smashers

"Mission Aborted"

Sugar coated candy colored eyes

Certainly helps to hide your disguise

But I'm going to find you

You've got it in for me

Say you're going to get me eventually

But I'm on to your plan

Cause you can't win when you don't understand

The mission is aborted

There's no use in trying

I know what you're up to and I know that you're lying

When it all comes down

It will be too late you won't find me around

Checking out what I do

Won't give any leads give you no clue

Go consult your spies

What they'll tell you will make you realize

"So Happy"

Did you ever wonder what happened to all the money that you went through?

Have you ever wondered what happened when she left you all alone on the phone in your bedroom crying?

Ever written cheesy poetry, bought teddy bears or jewelry, said things you saw on Days Of Our Lives, knowin' full and well that they were just lies...
(But now I realize)

I'm so happy without you, I'm so happy without you, all my friends are happy too, knowing that I'm happy without you

Did you ever not wanted to talk, discuss your feelings or what you thought?

Just go out and drink with the guys, and not have to come home to those evil eyes.

Have you ever wanted to be alone and get a good night's sleep when you come home?

When she calls you have to pretend that you're not laughing when you hear her crying... (And now I realize)

"Pierce Me"

Everybody now has at least one tattoo

Private school girls wearing Doctor Marten boots

A studded leather jacket won't instill fear

Marijuana clothes can be bought at Sears

Your little brother has bright green hair

Retro 70's threads will make everyone look square

My parents went on a holiday in Cambodia

All the little mods think they're the surplus army-uh

All that kid's stuff's been done before

Piss off your teachers, you're no poser

To offend your parents it has to be new

Gotta' show everyone that you're so cool

Stick a pin in your ear

Drill a hole in your nose

Connect them with a chain

Let the snot flow

Drive a stake through your lip

And a ring 'round your brow

Put a stud in your tit

More holes tomorrow

Pierce a needle through your penis

Bore a tunnel in your tongue

Never mind the redness

This is so much fun!

Look at those eco-warriors running around in birkenstocks

Winter never stops 'em, they just wear Honduran socks

Skate or die your way around town

Black death gothic fashions drag the world down

Those little rappers wear their clothes backwards

Now every single kid thinks they're a gangsta

Never wash your hear, gross, you'll have dreads

Shave it all off like Kojak, be a skinhead...

"Pee In The Elevator"

The doors is busted down

There are bugs crawling around

This is a place to live

That should be burned to the ground

In the pools a gator

My neighbor I hate her

You think that's bad you'd better watch what's in the elevator

There are holes in my walls

Smoke in the halls

Some kind of fungus is itching MY balls

They just raised the rent

All my money is spent

How will I pay it

I've got to live in a fucking tent

There's pee in the elevator

Don't smell to good

There's pee in the elevator

It don't smell like it should

Been drinking all night

Pounding them back

I go stumbling home

There's no turning back

I got to pee bad

Can't take it anymore

It's impossible to wait 'til the 19th floor

I had a little hamster

A little fluffy guy

I lost him in the elevator

I just left him there to die!

"Janice"

I listen to your show

Who are you? Who knows?

You're way cooler than me

I'm a loser, baby

You hate the majors, buy indies

I'm a member at HMV

Saving cash for the new BLUR

You get your records for free

She was on the radio

Playing vinyl I don't own

But she had to go

Dropping names of unknowns

I'm two years behind

She wouldn't play Bjork

You're every week

Now she's gone to New York

Playing vinyl I don't own

Dropping names of unknowns

I'm two years behind

You're every week

Can I borrow some CDs?

Hang around, buy you coffee?

I'll dust off your records

I'll do your laundry

"Coolest Guy"

At home

All alone

Get on the phone

Get a dial tone

Hey Joan

Do you wanna roam?

We'll go down to the skydome

Then we'll go home

I'm the coolest guy in the whole world

"Meal Of Meat"

Meal of meat I want it now

Curse the gopi and their sacred cow

Give me a Mac primed with beef

Or a husky flank keep your leaves

Meal of meat it's what I need

Hold the alfalfa and the poppy seed

Lay my molars into a juicy red hide

I'm going to pickle some wieners in formaldehyde

It'll make you ponder, wonder

About that nice cow over yonder

Meal of meat, thats what I want to eat

I'm going to lay my molars into a juicy red hide

I don't understand what you're telling me

About the mass destruction of some holy trees

Rain forest I'll be damned

Just gimme some more of that char-broiled ham

So it costs more for cattle feed

Methane farts blowing in the breeze

I don't care not right now

Dining on a sturdy cow

It'll make you think about that steak by the kitchen sink

About that steak and it's starting to stink.

"Shithead"

Why don't you tell me that you're not going to hire me, no opportunity, no responsibility and no one to look up to me, that's the way it's going to be, and
nothings going to change me

So I'll have to wait and see, what the hell is next for me, with all my university, and my 22 degrees, in the arts psychology, not to mention pottery and
ancient history

So I'll try the lottery and hope I win a lot of money, then I'll buy the company and have you work for me.

Shithead.

"Frozen"

I was out late last night down by the railway station

Something caught my eye a man ripped in half holding his salvation

It was plain to see that if it wasn't for me

Nobody would've cared or known that this man had no home

But all I say is how can shit be this way

One more lost so many to go while I'm going to the stupid show

Vision still haunting me it's a good thing to be so free

Don't let them get to near don't let them live around here

It's just a little bit insane

One of these days all this crap will scatter and we will see what really matters

Mom's and dads, oh you must be glad

Why can't we see that all we need is a little bit of humanity

Revolution breathes, still families living in the streets

Back down by the railway station morning comes, but I'm long gone

The man lying by the side of the road, his toes are frozen, frozen from the cold.

"My Love (Vampire)"

You think your life is difficult

Well mine's a little bit harder

You see I've got this problem

My girlfriend is a vampire

Blond hair

Brown eyes

Thin waist

My prize

She sleeps during the day

When I'm not exactly tired

It ain't much fun in a coffin

My girlfriend is a vampire

Sucks blood

Likes bats

Big fangs

My love

You can't taker out in the sun

You can't take a picture of her

Her ex-boyfriend is a werewolf

My girlfriend is a vampire

*Note: The lyrics to the folloing songs are quiet possibly incorrect*

"The Manta Ray"

This is a dance that's sure to please

And I guarnatee that you'll learn it with ease

Stop what you're doing and listen to what i say

Cause the name of the dance is the Manta Ray

The Manta Ray Dance

I know you'll love it if you give it a chance

It's so fun to do I promise you

It's so easy to learn how to dance (?)

The very first thing that you have to do

Is lift up one of your legs and put it behind you

Put your arms out to your sides and bend halfway down

And then you can wave your arms around

Well this song is almost at an end

And I hope that we can do it again

So keep on practicing the Manta Ray

And maybe it'll become popular someday!

"Skah Of Iran"

Skah Of Iran!

"Gotta Get Away"

Met a girl who worked at the chocolate factory

She could get chocolate

All of it for free

Got up the nerve to talk to her

And this is what she said:

Get lost you little nerd or I'll kick it in the head (In the head?)

Yeah! Kick it in the head! (In the head.)

Boy got put down

She put me in my place

Eating all this chocolate makes me break out in the face

Why oh why does it have to be this way

I wanted to be with her but all that she would say was I

Gotta get away from you

Kept on bugging her

Makeing her irate

She said that if I'd shut up she'd go out on a date

Her manners

Her hair

Her makeup OH!

I guess I promised I lied

Ever since that night she follows me around

If she doesn't stop it soon I'm going to leave town

Why oh why does it have to be this way?

I thought I could be with her

But all that she would say was...