1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is a long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
3. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
4. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell "I am sooo sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
5. Bring cheerleaders. Have sex with each of them in turn... explain that you're clearing your mind...
6. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs...I'm sorry, but my mother was killed by an integral...fell right on her head...
7. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say "They're found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
8. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
9. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
12. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
13. Show up completely drunk. (i.e. at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy.)
14. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper."
15. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
16. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling, "I'm here, the phantom of the opera!!" until they drag you away.
17. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "You don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of Our Lives is on!!"
18. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
19. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
20. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
21. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious...like history notes for a calculus exam...otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
22. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
23. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
24. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
25. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.