Warning Labels

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some reportedly true label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

Some Swanson frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:

Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:

Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:

Do not iron clothes on body

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine

Do not drive car or operate machinery

On Nytol (a sleep aid):

Warning: may cause drowsiness

On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning keep out of children

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:

Not to be used for the other use

On Sainsbury's Peanuts

Warning: contains nuts

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chain saw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Not really a warning label but still funny...
On the back of a motorbiker's jacket:

"IF YOU CAN SEE THIS MY GIRLFRIEND FELL OFF!"
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