It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
If you're ever playing ice hockey and you fall and break your arm that is the best thing because the ice is like right there.
It's really not good to make an assumption because that makes an ass out of "u" and "mption".