"Join our fast-paced company"
- We have no time to train you.
"Casual work atmosphere"
- We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a
couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"Some overtime required"
- Some every night and some every weekend.
"Duties will vary"
- Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Must have an eye for detail"
- We have no quality assurance.
"Career-minded"
- Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"Apply in person"
- If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position
has been filled.
"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience"
- You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
"Problem-solving skills a must"
- You're walking into perpetual chaos.
"Requires team leadership skills"
- You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the
pay or respect.
"Good communication skills"
- Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they
want and do it.