VENTRUE: Okay folks. We have another problem. The "kids" want to know how we tell each other apart... what makes us unique.
TOREADOR: That's easy... we are all unique... special.. beautiful in our own way we--
BRUJAH: Shut the hell up. He means like what separates CLANS you pantywaste.
MALKAV: Never waste panties... Too hard to find this time of year.
VENTRUE: Yes Brujah. What makes us... fit into a Category. What makes us CLAN.
BRUJAH: Yeah. Just another way for the "man" to keep an eye on us.
MALKAV: What man?
BRUJAH: Shut up before I mash you, kook.
VENTRUE: [sighs] Any suggestions?
TOREADOR: Signature Clothing?
TREMERE: Necklaces? Mystical pendants?
MALKAV: Cheese... Different Cheeses assigned to each clan. There are different types to chose from you know?
BRUJAH: [looks to Nosferatu] Yeah.. lemme guess who Limburger is....
NOSFERATU: I heard that.
VENTRUE: I was thinking more along the lines... of a weakness... a.. subtle flaw.
MALKAV: I call Kryptonite!!!
BRUJAH: [smashes him on the head] Must have a Kyrptonite fist. SHUT UP.
MALKAV: unnrk.
VENTRUE: Okay... Brujah... yours will be your temper. For obvious reasons.
BRUJAH: TEMPER? WHAT TEMPER? ... fricking suits... You'd be pissed too if you had to sit next to Nos and Malk.
VENTRUE: [coughs] Torrie, since you love art... you will be known as the artist clan.
TOREADOR: Tragic... yet... beautiful. Agreed.
MALKAV: [small voice] I still want Kryptonite.
BRUJAH: [SMACK] Hehe. Temper.. okay.. Cool.
MALKAV: Unnnggh.
NOSFERATU: [Scratches his chin causing skin to flake off] And my.. flaw?
[Silence]
VENTRUE: [shivers] We'll get back to you. Gangrel. Yours will be... everytime you frenzy.. you look more like an animal.
GANGREL: WHAT? What do you mean "You look more like an animal??"
VENTRUE: It starts of small... you know... fur... deep voice... maybe horns...
GANGREL: WHAT??? Oh COME on... Torrie gets to moon over stupid drawings and I get a fricking BEAK? Yeah... that's REAL fair... [grumbles into a growl]
ASSAMITE: And I?
TREMERE: You can't drink kindred blood.. [laughs] It's poison. Your hair falls out and you look like him. [points to Nos]
VENTRUE: Agreed.
NOSFERATU: Still waiting.
[silence, Malkav giggles]
ASSAMITE: Why does TREMERE get to pick my weakness.
TREMERE: Lump it pal.
VENTRUE: Tremere... if Assamite can't drink kindred blood... then you have to drink from.. all of your elders.
MALKAV: No one got Kryptonite?
BRUJAH: [BAP] Temper.. LOVE it.
VENTRUE: Lasombra... hmm... no reflection.
LASOMBRA: You should give THAT to Nos...
NOSFERATU: Still waiting...
VENTRUE: [coughs] Be right with you Nos... Is that acceptable Lasombra?
LASOMBRA: Yeah... but you guys have to tell me when I have something on my chin.
VENTRUE: No problem. Hmmm... Tzim... You're weakness.. will be...
MALKAV: Having a clan name no one can say or spell?
VENTRUE: Yes. Er.. no. You.. must sleep.. in your native soil.. or have some in your coffin...
GANGREL: WHAT??? I get WEBBED TOES and she has to sleep in DIRT??
TZIMISCE: Agreed.
GANGREL: I want a new one...
NOSFERATU: Still waiting... have you forgotten me?
[Silence]
VENTRUE: Moving right along... Giovanni... Your Kiss hurts... no pleasure in your bite.
TOREADOR: You can say THAT again....
[Room looks to Torrie] Oh.. sorry.. was that outloud?
GIOVANNI: One off night... plagues you for your unlife...
VENTRUE: Ravnos. You are a criminal by nature.
RAVNOS: [gives back Ventrue's wallet] Sorry.
VENTRUE: [blinks taking it] Um... no. I meant... [shakes head] Oookay. The money too..
RAVNOS: Oh.. here.. sorry.
NOSFERATU: When do I get one?
BRUJAH: At birth...
[Stifled Laughter]
VENTRUE: Ahem... You over there.. Setite... yours is... you don't like the light..
GANGREL: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?? I get a set of BAT wings and he doesn't like brightlights??
MALKAV: Fly my little monkeys... Fllllyyyyy..
BRUJAH: [raises hand and Malk winces]
SET: [grins] Agreed.. fair and just. [winks]
GANGREL: [points] He WINKED!! You two had A DEAL SET UP?? God DAMN snakes...
NOSFERATU: If you continuing ignoring me... I will get UGLY.
MALKAV: Too late...
[Stifled laughter]
VENTRUE: Am I missing anyone?
MALKAV: Do I get Kryptonite?
TZIMISCE: You, little man, have ENOUGH problems... you don't need an additional flaw.
VENTRUE: Then it is settled...
NOSFERATU: You have forgotten yourself... and I.
BRUJAH: Yeah, Mr. Picky. What is YOUR flaw.
VENTRUE: [smiles] I am Picky... about... what I eat...
GANGREL: [stands up throwing chair back] I am LEAVING!! [pointing around the room] I get udders like a fucking COW and YOU get to sleep in DIRT? YOU are a fussy eater? YOU Get to look at art... YOU... [finger stops on Nos]... Okay.. I guess it could be worse.
NOSFERATU: I get it. I am the unflawed clan... gotcha.
BRUJAH: [laughs] Yup.. that's it..
VENTRUE: [coughs] Meeting Adjourned.
MALKAV: [leaving very quietly, singing] You.. oogly.. you oogly.... and yer mama dresses you foooney.. you oogly.. you oogly...