I have started seeing a counselor to deal with the TG issues. The counselor has identified me as being a TS, the counselor is not ready to put me on hormones yet. I have started attending a TS support group, this week was my first meeting. My wife has taken me shopping twice and Kristi is getting a nice wardrobe. I have bought a whole bunch of new makeup as well. Should have some new pictures soon. I hope that I can start hormones again soon!!!!
Well the counselor approved me for hormones. I need to see a doctor to get the prescription. I am seeing a marriage counselor to help both my wife and I to communicate better and to help in the transition. My mother called the other night and begged me to not kill the male that I am. The post op that I knew used to tell me how strange it felt to have people consider you dead. I know now how she felt. It is really strange to think about, and you really don't understand until it happens to you. I have promised my wife that I will not start hormones until we both agree that it is OK. She will let me start them whenever I want, but right now if I start them, then I am out of the house. I have been fully dressed several times walking through downtown. I am scared stiff, but people seem to be OK, no strange comments.
OK, OK, it's been a long time since I wrote in here! I've made some really good friends at TG Chat, I even had the chance to meet a couple of the ladies. Wendy and Willow came down for a visit. We went out to one of the local drag shows fully dressed. It was a lot of fun. The next day we went out dressed, the first time I had been out during the day. We had lunch at a restaurant, then went shopping. No rude comments!! I was really apprehensive about going out, but if you want to be a girl, then you need to get used to going out in public. It was really neat to meet them. Let's see...... I went to the internist, he was ready to prescribe the hormones but I settled for a prescription for EMLA, a must for electrolysis! Speaking of electrolysis, I've been through 14 hours and she has all of my face cleared once and most of the neck. Very little regrowth. But I really hate going. I've been out out and about more. I'm getting more comfortable being out. Still get scared though. I've been buying more clothes. Went to the internist again and this time I got the prescription for the hormones, he wants me to start on 5.0 mg. Premarin a day. I have not filled it yet, if I do then I need to move out. My wife feels that she does not want to live with another woman. I can understand this! I feel so bad about hurting her, she deserves so much better than me. My therapist finally got back from a two month vacation in Nepal, the first visit back went well. Still love getting email from friends and I've been hearing from two very special girls , Steph and Myrah. I watch each day for something from them. Well hopefully I'll write again soon. Just need to find the time.
Here I go again. Not updating this as much as I should. Things are going so fast and yet so slow. Still want to hear from people. I'm thinking about adding a feature to let people know when I update this, let me know what you think of this idea. Well I have not been in electrolysis for over a month, no money. Don't go to the support group anymore, they are too political for my taste. Got burned by another TS or TS wanna be. She was my roommate at the apartment. Left me with $160.00 phone bill and more bills coming all the time. I still get out once in a while as Kristi and have been shopping a few times. Not a whole lot to tell about other than this is a real struggle.....
Another month goes by! I have met several new friends which always makes me feel better! A little while back I went back to the support group. I told them about my former roommate and they agreed that I had every right to change the locks on the apartment after my roommate disappeared on me. After the meeting one of the Female to Male T's walked me to my car since I was alone. We were walking down the side walk and we passed four young kids. After we passed them I heard one yell "He said something to you" I thought oh oh here it comes, the rude comment I've been read. I turned around and the girl pointed at the boy and said "He thinks you are very pretty" I was floored! That was really fun! I said Thank You! I have been going out at least once a week. I have not been in electrolysis for about two months, but I have another appointment this Thursday. Fun Fun!
Some time has flown by again since I updated my page and it is long overdue! I get a lot email from people and I really enjoy hearing from them. So much has happened. My wife discovered that I was taking hormones, yes I did the unthinkable. I started hormones and did not tell her. I was on 7.5mg Premarin for a while. I started developing again and was showing. I kept denying it to her but I finally admitted it to her. I was wrong I and I did not keep up my end of the bargain. I am about a 38A now and have stopped the hormones for now. I would like to go back on them. I am having problems at work and have had to really buckle down and work hard. I have been going out and having fun. One night at a TG club I was even asked if I was a real girl. That is hard to do around cross dressers. I found out yesterday that someone from my wives work spotted me when I was out and it is all around her work, not good! I do love being Kristi and find it can be alot of fun. I have found some very accepting people. I have been increasing my wardrobe some and so that is fun. Electrolysis is going well and my face is getting smoother and smoother all the time. Well again I'll try to get better at writing here more. PS There is a new very recent pic of me of me here somewhere, see if you can find it! Yes that is my real hair.