Hmmm well I get called ma'am or lady or girl all the time now. It's really fun! I have been befriended by someone who I thought really cared and I have found out differently. I really crawled into a shell after this one. I am trying to come out but feel miserable after this little incident. I have taken up knitting and really enjoy it. I find it very relaxing. Work is a pain and I got read by a corporate buyer. He is supportive and will make sure all of out vendors treat me fairly. Kewel! Most people are very nice to me and I like it. I also would like to to thank people for being wonderful to me!
Here I go again not writing in my journal for a while. So much is going on it is hard to find the time to do this. A lot has happened since I last wrote in here. It seems that no matter where I go and how I dress whether as a female or a male I am called a woman. On my birthday my wife and daughter took me out to dinner. The receptionist and the waitress were referring to me as a woman for most of the night. My wife was getting angry so I spoke in a lower tone which the waitress instantly read me as a male. She was very embarrassed! I always wondered if I would pass without makeup and being really dressed feminine, I guess I have my answer now. I do! Work is still hectic and my wife gets so angry and hurt by me. My hearing is not real good so some times I don't hear people refer to me as a woman but my daughter hears it and always makes a big deal out of it. At the same time she just rubs it into my wife.. not good. I was interviewing the son of a coworker for a position that I had open. His mom knows about me but had said nothing. He went home after the interview and said to her "Whats with the guy going through the sex change, why doesn't he dress as a female". She just about died. She has always told me that people would read me as gay, and here her son was saying I was a woman. I went out on New Years Eve. Not real fun. Didn't even dance once! I still like hearing from people and always try to reply if they want me to!
Well I've been asked to update my page, so here goes! I have come out to a lot of people. Work is very supportive of me! I go full time June 15th. I moved out of the house on 4/18/98 and had to say good-bye to a woman who will always be in my heart. About three years ago my birth mother found me, yes I was adopted. My adoptive family was wonderful and I did have a pretty good life. Anyway I have talked with my birth mother some and she wanted to meet me. I was always pretty shy about meeting her because of me. As the changes were taking place I was even more against meeting her. Well I finally told her about me, she didn't even have to think about it. She just said you are my child and I love you! So to her I am her daughter! I have three sisters who are very wonderful! So I flew out to meet them for the first time over mothers day. I flew as Kristi which was an adventure into itself. When I got off the plane all of the anxiety just vanished and we hugged each other. It was really cool! So I spent some time out there and had a blast. I'm on hormones again and developing very nicely. In fact my mother told me that I was so feminine that she could never imagine me as a guy. While out there I also met two of the family friends, Justin and Kent! Love ya guys (See I updated my page ) so it was a great trip and hard to come back home but I did. I hope to see them again soon! Justin and Kent, you can come see me too! So these days I'm just taking one day at a time and hopefully I will keep this more up to date!
How time flies when you are busy. I went full time on June 15th and my coworkers are very supportive of me. I still get my feelings hurt easy. But out away from work I'm only seen as a woman and it is great. I did go see Dr. Meltzer last Monday and have my SRS date now, October 29th 1999. Bummer! He performs about 150 surgeries each year. I have asked them to put me on the cancellation list and they did. They believe that they can get me moved up to Jan - Mar 1999, my shrinks will not approve me for anything earlier than that. I did have a roommate, but I asked her to move out because of her life-style. I support her but I felt it was to risky for me. I wish her all the happiness. I still see the ugliness associated with being a TS. People generally do not understand the pain and suffering that we go through. We are not out to hurt anyone or cause embarrassment to anyone. We only ask that we be treated as human beings. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones as I do not get read much if at all. People sometimes ask me why there are not more pictures on my web page. I just do not have a lot of pictures of me, I do not own a camera either. I have had a few friends come and stay with me and we have had a great time. DeAnn and Shai both were here and I loved having them visit.
Here I am again trying to keep this up but finding it hard to get the time. It's been two months now of full time. The SRS or GRS surgery date is now Sept. 10 1999, moved up from Oct 29th and I'm still hoping to get it moved up further. My car has broken down twice in the last month. Guess that is what I get for letting it go for two years. So that really put me in a bind as far as money goes. But I'm still doing OK. Some very good friends of mine took me to see "Lord of the Dance" the other night. It was so much fun and that was incredibly nice of them. I really needed that and they will never understand how much it meant to me. I was over visiting my soon to be ex today and she told me our relationship was like two subs, no Dom, no fun. Oh well. She said there was no place for a TS in marriage. Maybe she is right. I came home and was feeling very very blue. Don't get me wrong for the most part we get along just fine. We are friends and try to help each other out. Still love hearing from people and I'm willing to answer peoples questions. I really hate it when people form their opinion about TS's before they truly try and understand the real issues. We are not rude people, we are not weird, we are just everyday folks, just like you. We are human beings and deserve friendship and love just like everyone else. I have met some very unhappy TS's and my heart goes out to them. But I have met a lot more happy ones and just going about everyday life. In fact some of them live totally stealth, no one knows about them and they pass just like the gender they want to. So you never know if you work around another TS. But it goes to prove that we are just wanting a normal life and to fit in.
Well it keeps getting more and more interesting. I have been so busy. My car really hurt me financially, so some of my bills fell by the wayside. I had to call some of them and ask for help. For the most part they have been very good. Most people when they found out about me wished me good luck and a happy life. Dr. Meltzer's office contacted me last Friday and have moved my SRS date up to Feb. 5th 1999!!!!! That is very kewel. Only 4 1/2 months away, not very long at all. They also asked me if I wanted to move up more. But I don't think I could be ready any earlier. My shrinks are totally supportive of the date I have now. I have a new roommate and he is great. Not sure if I want another TS roommate they get to unstable. I wish the divorce was done, but it is not. I still am getting asked for more and more information from the lawyers. What a bunch of vultures. Work is going much better and I made it through the mid year review a lot better than I did last year. Well time to close for now....