Yes here it is 2004 already, how time flies. I was never really sure I would live this long. Xmas was ok this year, nothing spectacular, on New Years Eve, my husband bought some champagne and we toasted the new year. It has been snowing here the last few days, now that is different because the NW is not really known for snow. It was to bad we did not have a white christmas, but it was white New Years eve and day. I wanted to go skiing on New Years day, but no money, so no skiing. Lots of snow in the mountains here. I wish I could find a job, but nothing yet. Oregon seems to be one of the last places for the economy to pick up. The next part of the hockey season starts up in two weeks so that should be fun. We almost did not have enough money for me to register, but it worked out. I have been toying with idea of learning to play the guitar, I certainly have enough time on my hands to practice everyday usually. Well it is late and I should go get some rest, been fighting a cold.
Yet more time passes and so much goes on. To go on from Jan 3rd, I got stuck in the house for a solid week with all the snow and no vehicle that would go in the snow. Finally after sitting for that long, I found a music store here that looked like they were offering a good price on guitars. So I went and looked. Decided on a Mexican Fender Stratocaster and a Peavey small practice amplifier. I have never played the guitar but I joined some online web site to help me learn and I have been working on playing. I find it to be very relaxing and I enjoy it a great deal. The second season on Women's ice hockey did start and I had some bad rumors flying around with some of the women thinking that I am a guy. I talked with the guy that runs the league and he said they were crazy, you are a woman. He also said "Don't let the rumor mongers ruin it for you". So I finished it out and I have been taking some private lessons from this guy. Finally got nice enough to ride and race my motorcycle again. I finished 4th in the first race and 3rd in the second one. I had to buy new tires for my bike because all the tracks here are intermediate terrain and I had hard terrain tires on it. I have made some new friends at racing and that has helped quite a bit. I have a class coming up this week to help me ride better. I did finally start jumping a little, tracks and riding styles have changed so much since I last raced when I was young. It is a lot of fun and some of the women/girls are pretty good. Money is still an issue, and that gets so old sometimes. I am depressed some, but I have vowed to not get that way and I will make my life better and will not let anyone hold me down. I am my own person and I am the one who can make myself happy! I need to get back in the gym and work out more. I would love to lose some weight and also get back into better shape. Guess I had better get busy, but I felt I needed to update this a little.
Well more time flies by and I have not really kept up that much. We bought a new motorcycle and after only about a week. I crashed and hurt myself, not to bad though. I had bruised ribs and hip and a scraped up back. I have raced a few times since then and won two of the races. I did go to the class that I mentioned previously and it did help a little. I had the opportunity to go an all women's class and I did. That actually helped me more than the other one. I try and play my guitar once a day, it is coming along pretty nicely and I can see the improvement in my playing. I am pretty much the only one that gets to hear me play. That is unless the neighbors can hear me play. Been working out a little, but need to do it more consistently. Because of the injuries I did not get to skate for like 2 months. I did skate a couple of times in the last week. Could I ever tell I had not skated for awhile. I had hoped to go rafting a couple of times, but with being hurt, no deal. Last weekend I finally got to go, it was cooler than normal. I have the clothing to keep me warm on the river, but everyone else was pretty cold. It was sunny, just cool. I am tired of the political campaigning already. I think it is time for a change, but that may not happen. Where I live has a really high unemployment rate and it has not improved at all in the last 4 years. I still can not find a job!
More time passes by; I get lonelier and lonelier. What is a poor girl supposed to do? No racing since the middle of August, I finally sold the 125. Money has been tight, my husband lies to me. He has no idea how to treat a woman. For the first time in over 18 years, I will not be cooking a Thanksgiving turkey meal! There will be no Christmas either!! I had Monster.com rewrite my resume, no bites yet. I need a job! As soon as I get one and have health benefits again, I will be a single woman again. The election came and went, what a disappointment to me. But, I can understand people voting for who they wanted and the choice was made. It has resulted in a deeply divided nation though and that is not good. Did I say I needed a job, yep I did! To bad the economy is not improving much at all. More than likely I will put the new motorcycle up for sale. I doubt I will be able to keep it or the house. I just don't think I will get a job that pays enough to keep the house. That is a real shame too, very nice house. My husband will not take care of it though, he has no pride in the house. Come to think of it, he takes no pride in anything; including me. I dread the weekends, I hate spending time with him. So the holidays really suck! I used to love the holidays, he takes the fun out of EVERYTHING! Ok, ok - enough ranting. Sorry! Can you tell I am ready for a divorce? I am, and it is so sad..
Thanksgiving came and went, no cooking! I got up and went and watched a boys hockey tournament that was going on over the weekend. My husband had no idea where I was, and was a little surprised that I was not home. Oh well! I started being a referee at some of the hockey games. That is a very different thing to do. I am getting a little better at it. Only about 10 days till Christmas, no decorating and no presents. My only wish for this year is to once again be happy. I waited so long to be Kristi, and now to be unhappy is not want I want or need. I have very little hope of my husband being kind to me or treating me fairly. He still lies to me and my worst fear came true about 3 weeks ago. He got hurt playing hockey. He separated his shoulder, I had the hardest time wanting to help him in any way. That is not how a wife should feel. But that is exactly how I did feel. My shrink keeps telling me, find a job! Easier said than done in this job climate. More layoffs all the time. I am still so lonely it is not funny.