Try to get home without suicide today

Yesterday, I was trying to get home without ruining the day. I got off the train, my legs sore from ice skating, and immediately wished I had waited for the 1. Walking toward me was my ex, John. I stopped made nice and tried to walk away queitly. On the way up the ramp I had to pass by one of those guys you always see playing guitar in the station. He was singing and stupid me I listened -- "the first time I saw you I could tell by the look in your eyes we'd be together forever. I could tell the first time I saw you how much you would mean to me." That's when I lost it. Tears streaming from my face, choking back sobs I hurried into the night air. Everywhere I looked faces stared. I felt lost in a funhouse maze and I couldn't find home. I just wanted to get home and curl up with my puppy and pretend I never met the Bastard. Pretend I never loved him. Instead I hit obstacles. First an unassuming couple I know from work. Chit-chat make nice, try to not let my feelings show. They'll tell him. Then some guy interviewing me on what it's like to live in the village. I didn't give a fuck what he had to say. I restrained my self from hitting him and crawled onward. The Slaughtered Lamb -- yes it's from American Werewolf in London (not paris) and it's only a block from home. Destination almost in reach. Tourists stop to argue over which movie it's from. I let them know and then guide them to the nearest video store so they can rent it. Maybe they weren't tourists in any real sense but they held my journey up. Home free. I laid on my couch and waited for the night to suck away my energy and hide me from my mind. No such luck, he calls and I talk about nothing. Can he hear the voices in my head and how much they hate him. Their yelling makes the phone seem so far away.