I accuse everyone of not understanding
Maybe I’m just one of them
Everything I pretend to know
I’m just as confused as the rest

False realities
Unfound hope

I swear I’ve recovered from the falls
Yet I find myself propping up the ladder
And climbing it again
Each time reaching a higher rung

But does it really bring me closer?
Or does it merely make the fall hurt
all that much more?

Maybe I’m really progressing
Then again
The goal may just as well be infinitely high
and out of my reach
no matter what I do

Dilemmas abound

To continue the climb?
Or finally find satisfaction
in what I now have

All I can do now
is Stand back up
and try again

25 February 1999