BM has documented each of his victories throughout his series of novels entitled , "Toilet Times" ,
which are available for sale at no accreditted bookstores. They are only sold through his basement. In addition to these
volumes, he enjoys writing short stories. His famous works in this arena have been " Fecal Rendezvous" and
" Another Time I Did It ."
The Following are some excerpts from his upcoming autobiography:
Constapation
There I was, all alone. I came to this lavatory almost a broken man. Each second, each minute, each hour that I spent in the stall only perpetuated my fear that nothing would form or be emitted. Oh, Ex-Lax, thou hast defied me! I have no ostensible refuge, for I must, nay, I need to rid the turtle head that is poking out. I was able to grip my ankles around the handicap bars, and success was only moments away from this deft strategy. With a purple face, eyes squinted, and teeth grinding till exhaustion, I dropped it. Right then and there, instant gratification. It would be unjust to say i left a floater, for the emission filled the bowl to the brim. I would rather term it, "The displacer". Shoes wet, I then left the lavatory, an accomplished self-made hero.