My Workouts

Many people wonder how I was able to develop such a lean, yet muscular frame. There simply is no perfect answer for this. However, I have maintained a strict workout routine that works as follows:

• Eat 10-65 pounds of creatine a day
• Skip all bowel movements, so as to increase overall fury which will assist in your lift
• Drink a shake with four pounds of ephedrine in it
• Find a fat person
• Attack said person
• Do 4,000 situps, followed by several hits of acid

That's it. There is no real secret to it besides the wonders that manifest out of my hatred of adipose tissue.