My heart aches as does my body and brain,

It's pounding rings inside me, pulsing, bruising,

Tender to it's touch it's colors change,

Going pink, to red, to blue, to purple, then black with red tendrils,

Blood starts to well up inside the hole,

It's glistening drops glitter brightly then fall to the ground,

Making tiny star patterns with splashes of sounds, forgotten and left there, unthought of, uncared for,

They leave a pink soft trail upon my face,

Leaves wet long streaks upon my breasts,

Pools up in my stomach, then overflows, and drips down my thighs in streaks, slowly ebbing,

I let it continue to bleed, seeping into the carpet,

Glowing, gleaming wetly upon the cloth,

Clear liqued mingles with the red,

Turning the drops into crystals tinged pink to copper,

My betrayel opened up this hole that bleeds,

I held the knife and plunged it into my flesh,

I drove it deep within and shoved it up,

I gathered it in a brass vessel like wine, and I toasted my pain and drank deep,

Letting the streaks and tendrils ark through my shell,

Scars, so soft and vulnerable open and gleam with that wet elixer,

I toast my past and curse it,

My lips split beneath the vessel's rim,

I drink the flowing warm and the still cold,

They mingle upon my tonge and flow burning down my throat,

It falls into the pit deep within,

Reaches the gaping opening and flows out again,

Repeating the ritual of my heart,

At last the clean sparkles from my eyes reach my open scars,

Fall within the holes and stem the rivers flow,

And as I stand, pink and gleaming, soft and scared,

I know it has not ended, only begun to rest for a time, as the scars gleam and a drop escapes,

I lift that red wet pearl to my torn lips,

I taste something so sweet it's sour to my mouth,

It slides down, lays upon my hearts pusling deep large spot, where my thoughts of a love has now to lay,

And it glitters and hangs there, with a shimmering "M" upon the gleaming surface, suspended in time,

Suspended in my soul, a constant bleeding tear, from the depths of my shattered body, and from deep within my desolate mind.

-By Jessica Holder (aka Christine Connla)