Llama FAQ

Here are questions I get asked all the time:

1)Why do you consider yourself the "Llama King" and just what is your fascination with these big-eared animals? A: Well, great question, sir or madam. My fascination with llamas comes from my fascination with "Monty Python's Holy Grail" movie, in which "Ralph the Wonder Llama" is featured in the credits. In addition to that, llamas are champion spitters and have been known to spit in the face of authority, which I most admire. Thank you questioner. Next please.

2)Do you have sex with animals of any kind? Like do you hump sheep or anything? A: Funny you should ask, because just this morning, on my daily trip out to the barn to milk the goats, I noticed a large object hanging from my sheep, Lambie. Well, to my dismay the object was merely a stick that became stuck on poor Lambie's fur during one of his frolicks through the grass. I hope this answers your question.

3)Have you ever partaken in the use of illegal substances? A: In my youth, it is true that I partook in a few minor illegal indiscretions, but you have to understand, they were not AS illegal back then as they are today. For instance, back then, the police looked the other way on drug deals if you could offer them just compensation. Today, on the other hand, police make it their business to stop ALL drug trafficking, even the nonexistent kind. Great question!

1)Why do you consider yourself the "Llama King" and just what is your fascination with these big-eared animals?	A: Well, great question, sir or madam. My fascination with llamas comes from my fascination with "Monty Python's Holy Grail" movie, in which "Ralph the Wonder Llama" is featured in the credits. In addition to that, llamas are champion spitters and have been known to spit in the face of authority, which I most admire. Thank you questioner. Next please.
2)Do you have sex with animals of any kind? Like do you hump sheep or anything?	A: Funny you should ask, because just this morning, on my daily trip out to the barn to milk the goats, I noticed a large object hanging from my sheep, Lambie. Well, to my dismay the object was merely a stick that became stuck on poor Lambie's fur during one of his frolicks through the grass. I hope this answers your question.
3)Have you ever partaken in the use of illegal substances?	A: In my youth, it is true that I partook in a few minor illegal indiscretions, but you have to understand, they were not AS illegal back then as they are today. For instance, back then, the police looked the other way on drug deals if you could offer them just compensation. Today, on the other hand, police make it their business to stop ALL drug trafficking, even the nonexistent kind. Great question!