The dreams reek of madness. I am awake but reality is still slightly below the surface of my reach. I have only just entered the realm of consciousness, and already my screams drown out perception. I want to return to my truth. I've been drug through this time and time again. Each time the healing seems to begin, I feel the scratching upon my flesh again. The metal claws pulling at my scars. Awakening old wounds. You talk about rest as though it were something real. You still believe there's a simple cure...yet you've never met the disease.

Allow me to introduce you.

Splattered images across the corridors of my mind. Thousands of twisting passages that have no end and no real direction. Millions of openings to catch the curious eye. But it's the images that hold strong. Not because they're obvious, but because they refuse to be ignored. You dare to stroll past this blotch of hatred to your side, this dwindling trail of hope pushing you along...flowing into a lake of pain. The drip-drip-drip of sadness falling from above you, like tears, forming a puddle of despair at your feet. Keep moving. Keep moving and it will all catch up to you enough that you'll never forget it's there. But stop - stop and it will consume you. Either way the torment won't end. The screams won't be silenced. You'll be spit upon and pulled in all directions. Lifted and thrown into a haunted realm. Relentless drifting thoughts and emotions. They have no time for mercy. This world is ruled by chaos, and chaos has no rules.
Welcome to the center of it all. The only place you won't find the screams and twisting paths and all the pain. Welcome to the emptiness...a thing far worse than pain. It will drag you in deeper and deeper until there is no hope for return. Sight is still allowed, you'll be able to see the violently floating subjects of Chaos, and to know what they are. But never will you touch them from here. All feeling is drained with each step until you can no longer find purpose in continuing, or in turning back. You'll recognize the need for tears but will find no energy to cry. You'll know the desire for comfort, but there will be none. The emptiness won't have that. You were wrong to come this far. Escape is less of an option with every second, for every second it is growing. It's trying to take hold but the chaos is still strong enough to hold it back. But all things of that manner come to an end at some point. What happens when chaos explodes. What becomes of a world when it's sole master reaches the breaking point. There are two other points that will be looking for control. The growing emptiness...and the ever-powerful threat of madness.

Madness is the popular candidate.


12/31/98