Quotes From Not So Famous People

Some of these are "You had to be theres."

"Get on up, like a sex machine."

-James Brown

"If I see one more 'Scarlet Letter' poem, I'm gonna puke!"

-Pfief

"Eric, did you type this with your tongue?"

-Nicole

"Size DOES matter!!"

-Pfief-dee-o-double-gee

Eleanor- Do you guys have any string to make necklaces out of?

Clerk- Yes, we do. Here's a nice leather one.

Eleanor- Oh, really? What's it made of?

"No, seriously. Should I scan my. . . ?"

-Stu

One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I was just sitting there with my mind a complete blank while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper. At the end of the week my teacher said, "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes." So I wrote a paper that said: "Hello, my name is Bingo. I like to climb on things. Can I have a banana? Eek, Eek." I got an "F" When I got home and told my mom about it she said, "I told you never trust a monkey!" The End.

-Brak

"I'm gonna cry."

- M. Bell

Tomorrow is another day. Another day to carry burning coals in paper bags along a rickety suspension bridge with an African Zulu on your trail.

-The Queen

He who hesitates is lost. Except when he is hesitating before jumping into an alligator infested swamp.

-JADE

Sorry this Valentine's card is late Honey. Cupid shot me in the butt and you know that's where my brain is.

-Hallmark

True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough syrup.

-S. Morgenstern

Having a family is like having Shirley Temple singing "On the good ship lollipop" in your head over and over and over again.

-The goddess with the boddess

When life gets you down, just remember that you are but a minuscule spec on the geologic time-table and an even smaller spec in relation to the universe. Contemplate that after you die, no one will really remember you at all, and in a hundred years, hardly anyone will know you even existed.

In that frame of mind, take your depression out on the road. Rob a convenience store with a watermelon and a ripe banana. Demand that they give you their beef jerky, Teriyaki flavored only of course.

-Adolf

Time is something. So is rice. Think about it.

-Busterfly

Mi perro no es un perro, al contrario, es La Sirena Pequena.

-Adriana Esperame

Sretnuh Ytnoub Eht Fo Selat

-Olos Ennaira dna Radner Hsad

Bobby, your hair wants cutting.

-Ella-May Ding-Hoe

Happiness is a 42 magnum xp-50 squirt gun with dual concussion missle launchers.

-Ms. Zupa Soaka

Isle Of Ewe

-Some guy

I'm massaging my nipples.

-Sam Sam the Weather Man

"The fireplace has already flown south for the winter."

-Michael O'Donoghue

Never wear brown shoes with a blue suit.

-The Fairy of Fashion

Welcome to the GAP. My name is Peaches. How may I help you?

-Peaches, actual GAP employee. (MALE)

When I grow up I'm going to name my kid 'Vodka Shreveport III', unless his father's name is Vodka, then I'll name him Cabernet Savignougn.

-Adrianas

Did you see the movie? It just knocked me out! That Walter Pidgen is SOOOO dreamy. I mean, he fractures me!

-Polly Espy

Paul, who's this?

Oh, this is Bambi, Elaine, and she was just leaving. Can you hand her her clothes?

-Elaine and Paul

Sylvia lay sick among the silverware. . .

-Michael "How to Write Good" O'Donoghue

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Kelly Collins, upon discovering her cat O.D.'d on foundation and lipstick, puked it up, and TOTALLY ruined her make-up collection.

You two, stop holding hands!

-"Oh, captain my captain" Curtis

You may not wear tanktops or shirts that bear the midriff to school, however, the school board has agreed to comprimise by allowing you to wear teeny bikinis and/or, sunglasses.

-The Principle of WNH high school

I'll MMMbop, till I drop-drop, and no Spice Girls are going to stop me!

-Taylor Hanson, when questioned about the impending departure of his older brother Isaac from the group "Hanson", to fill the Spice Girls empty slot.

Isaac Hanson, will be leaving his current position as guitarist and singer in the group 'Hanson', to join the Spice Girls. He plans to fill the vacancy left by 'Ginger'. He will be called "Mannish Spice."

-Associated Press

Make the most out of the few precious years of 'life' you have left. Paint your house lime green and buy a mailbox in the shape of a submarine. When the mail comes jump out from behind the mailbox with a squirt gun and drench the mailman screaming "AMBUSH!!!!!!"

-Starr of the Evening

The turban is not for sale.

-Princess Nadia

Act terrified of ball-point pens all day long. Hide under your desk and scream, "Are they gone yet?" Refuse to come out till they leave.

-Originally told by Espectro de Espacio and edited for use in this website.

Mi padre no le gusta Carrie Fisher o la mesa en el estudio de mi hermano.

-Adrianas

Nice shoes. Wanna….?

-Nadia

What the slut?

-Bobby

"Yes... but, If I think not, am I not? ... I think not, don't you think?"

-Jamie Kraft