It is clear that VIZ magazine is my spiritual guide to life, and Rogers Profanisaurus is clearly a manual most of us should not be without. Its inciteful look at todays world is unparalelled in it's accuracy and political correctness.
During a topic on weebls-stuff, the male contingent were discussing abstinence from the pastime of pleasuring oneself. Some excellent euphemisms came up whilst I was observing the chronicles of DougyDug. Never one to miss the opportunity to amuse one’s audience, I took it upon myself to steal these catchphrases, which I bring to you now. Some are funny, some are not.
Incidentally, if you know a great euphemisim, tell me about it! (The phrase, not the act...)
Euphemisms for wank(ing):
Visiting the historical monuments
Gawd, that's
an awful lot of time wasted talking about toss.
Master of my Domain
Killing Kenny
Paying the ultimate price
Flogging the donkey
Crossing the finish line
Sailing down the river trent
Shimmying up drainpipes
A trip to Disneyland
Twisting the happy lever
Waving the magic wand
Feel the burn
Christmas come early
Take trip to mount Fuji
Doing things that not even my Grandmother would talk about
Midnight exercise
Brushing up on my typing skills
The evil that men do
Running for mayor
Killed a kitten
Meaning of life
Flying to the moon
Sold my soul to the devil
Off to see the wizard
Big bang
Visiting mrs handerson and her five lovely daughters
Visited the deacon in confession
Searching for the holy grail
Shake hands with the unemployed
Polished the monk's head
Giving myself a round of applause
Playing the pink oboe
Rubbing the magic lamp
Tame the snake
Shaking hands with any one eyed milkman
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