COLUMNS

Chris - Tuesday 26th June 2001 - 9:33pm

I just finished listening to the pair of morons who live downstairs from me having an argument. Noel and Claire I think their names are. Well, I KNOW that his name is definitely Noel because every goddamn sentence she screeched out at the top of her obviously finely tuned lungs ended in “Noel, No Noel!” and “Bollocks, Noel!”. “You just lie on that couch, Noel!” and listening to this * I * was imitating her going “No Noel!” in the most sarcastic voice I could muster. And he would scream back to her and she would screech back to him and I could hear every goddamn word and I just wanted to go outside, stand in front of their windows shouting “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLES! SHUT UUUUUUP!” but instead I jump from my futon and jump as hard as I can on the living room floor (just so they know I hear them, as if they didn’t know already) and then I go to the bathroom to get away from them… or to get away from the consequences of me jumping and making the noise heh.. and as I do and as I reach it I swear that I hear something hit the ceiling LOUDLY. And at that point I want to go smash his fucking face in. They have a child down there and I DETEST that they’re arguing like this.

It was the same when I lived in Blackheath with Tony. The family next door were psychos I think. When they loved, my God did they love. I could hear them having sex and he must have been FANTASTIC at it because you could hear her cumming. You didn’t have much choice in the matter. “YESSS!! YESSSS!!!! OHHHHHH! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!” That was only equalled by the time I woke up in the middle of the night to hear a girl, an obviously very excited girl, squealing “oh Anthony! Anthony!”. I groaned and went back to sleep….

But the neighbours… The loving was funny if loud, but the hate.. I wanted to kill him. I almost called the police a dozen times because he hit his kids and like you could hear the fucking you could hear the slapping and the crying. And it disgusted me.

Some people say that they have the right to discipline their children, to smack their children. But what does that teach? There’s a fine line between discipline and abuse and half the time it’s these same loving parents who complain about sex and violence on TV and blame all the evils of the world on this, whilst at the same time hitting their children when they do something wrong. Sounds like hypocrisy to me….

Just after 10:10pm and they’ve started again… It doesn’t surprise me.

“No Noel! Look at your response Noel!”

Silence soon PLEASE.

--- Chris