I'm not growing up
I'm just burning out
And I stepped in line to walk amongst the dead
Apathy has rained on me
Now I'm feeling like a soggy dream
So close to drowing but I don't mind
I've lived in this mental cave
Throw my emotions in the grave
Hell, who needs them anyway?
No one is getting out alive
This time I've really lost my mind and I don't care
So close your eyes and kiss yourself goodbye
And think about the time you spent and what they meant
To me it's nothing
The happiness you pinned on me
Loneliness still comforts me
My anger dwells inside of me
I'm taking it all out on you
And all the shit you put me through
Did it bring you so down that you thought you lost your mind?
Do you ever want to lead a long trail of destruction?=
And mow down any bullshit that confronts you?
Do you ever build up all the small things in your head
To make one problem that adds up to nothing?
Maybe it's just jealousy
Mixed up with a violent mind
A circumstance that doesn't make much sense
Or maybe I'm just dumb
You're the cloud hanging out over my head
Hail comes crashing down welting my face
Magic man, egocentric plastic man
Yet you still got one over on me
Bite my lip and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise
I'm so damn bored I'm going blind
And I smell like shit
Peel me off this velcro seat and get me moving
I sure as hell can't do it by myself
I'm feeling like a dog in heat
Barred indoors from the summer street
I lock the door to my own cell
And I lost the key
I got no motivation
Where is my motivation?
No time for motivation
Smoking my inspiration
I sit around and watch the phone but no one's calling
Call me pathetic, call me what you will
My mother says to get a job
But she don't like the one she's got
When masturbation's lost its fun
You're fucking breaking
Bite my lip and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise
I'm so damn bored I'm going blind
And loneliness has to suffice
Bite my lip and close my eyes
Slipping away to paradise
Some say quit or I'll go blind
But it's just a myth
Pay attention to the cracked streets and the broken homes
Some call it slums and some call it nice
I want to take you through a wasteland
That I like to call my home
Welcome to paradise
A gunshot rings out at the station
Another urchin snaps and left dead on his own
It makes me wonder why I'm still here
For some strange reasons it's now feeling like my home
And I'm never gonna go
Dear mother, can you hear me laughing?
It's been six whole months since I have left your home
It makes me wonder why I'm still here
For some strange reason it's now feeling like my home
And I'm never gonna go
Is she ultra violent?
Is she disturbed?
I better tell her that I love her
Before she does it all over again
OH GOD, SHE'S KILLING ME!!!
For now I lie around
Hell that's all I can really do
She takes good care of me
Just keep saying my love is true
Looking out my window for someone that's passing by
No one knows I'm locked in here
All I do is cry
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
I'm just stoned
I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my life's a bore
So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
Grasping to control
So I better hold on
Are you locked up in a world
That's been planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?
Scream at me until my ears bleed
I'm taking heed just for you
She's figured out
All her doubts were someone else's point of view
Waking up this time
To smash the silence with the brick of self control
I'm a waste like you
With nothing else to do
May I waste your time, too?
Warding off regrets
Wasting your time
Smoking cigarettes
Wasting your time
I'm just a parasite
Wasting your time
Applying myself to
Wasting your time
No time to search the world around
'Cause you know where I'll be found
When I come around
I heard it all before
So don't knock down my door
I'm a loser and a user
So i don't need no accuser
To try and slag me down because I know you're right
So go do what you like
Make sure you do it wise
You may find out that your self-doubt
Means nothing was ever there
You can't go forcing something
If it's just not right
Secrets collecting dust but never forget
Skeltons come to life in my closet
I found out what it takes to be a man
Mom and Dad will never understand
What's happening to me?
Seventeen and coming clean for the first time
I finally figured out myself for the first time
I found out what it takes to be a man
Mom and Dad will never understand
What's happening to me?
How have I been how have you been?
It's been so long
What have you done with all your time?
And what went wrong?
I knew you back when
And you...you knew me
And now I think you're sick and I wanna go home
Anybody ever say no?
Ever tell you that you weren't right?
Where did all the little kid go?
Did you lose it in a hateful fight?
And you know it's true
I figured out what you're all about
And I don't think I like what I see
Sooooooo...
I hope I won't be there
In the end if you come around
How long will he last
Before he he's in a creep in the past
And you're alone once again?
Will you pop up again
And be my "special friend" 'till the end
And when will that be?
Let's nuke the bridge we torched 2,000 times before
This time we'll blast it all to hell
I've had this burning in my guts now for so long
My belly's aching now to say...
Stuck down in a rut
Of dislogic and smut
A side of you well hid
When it's all said and done
It's real and it's been fun
But was it all real fun?
You're just a fuck
I can't explain it cause I think you suck
I'm taking pride
In telling you to fuck off and die
I've had this burning in my guts now for so long
My belly's aching now to say
I'm taking pleasure in the doubts I've passed to you
So listen up as you bite this
You're just a fuck
I can't explain cause I think you suck
I'm taking pride
In telling you to fuck off and die
Good night...
I went to your house
But no one was there
I went to your room
I was all by myself
You and me had
Such wonderful times
I was all by myself
All by myself...