I still believe in hardcore. Really, i do... I guess that's why i cling to the corpse of what is currently called punk rock/hardcore in hopes that it will come back to life. It may just be force of habit, but i would really like to think that it is something more than just some passing fancy in a suburban jock kid's life. In reality, though, a lot of the kids who are currently taking up space at your local all ages venue are about as attached to the punk rock as they were to thier chia pet in 5th grade, or thier fucking Star Wars iron-on shirts that they wore every day in the 2nd grade. They were totally into it for a certain period of time, and you know, they lived it, man. Now, though, all that stuff is barely remembered as a passing fancy. And so it will be with hardcore in two, three, four years. Most of the kids will have moved on to bigger things like college, careers, marriage, or simply the next situation in thier lives and thier punk rock days will blend into a haze of smoky basements, drunken insanity, ringing ears and discarded records (more likely, at this point, CDs... but that's a different story, ok?) collecting dust in their parent's rec room.

So what's the point? Why do people expend thier energy and put themselves at risk to put on shows, release records, book thier own tours, do fanzines, run record stores, etc. when it basically amounts to providing entertainment for a largely white, male, middle class audience who could probably care less? Well, i think the main reason is that punk/hardcore has touched so many people to suck an extent that they are unable to escape its power. Personally, i think this can be construed as a good thing. Hardcore has exerted a tremendous amount of influence over my life and contributed quite a bit to shaping me into the person i have become. Topics such as homophobia, vegetarianism/veganism and straight edge, for example, are rarely discussed in the larger context of mainstream society. To a lesser extent, topics such as sexism, racism, anarchism, and corporate exploitation are also examples of ideas that i may not have gained exposure to had i never been involved in the punk subculture. Obviously, since i consider myself a fairly intelligent human being, i would like to think that i would have been able to get past my conditioning and figure out for myself that these are topics worthy of discussion and contemplation, but i just don't know. The media is a powerful force, as far at the norms of society, and it would have been just as easy to end up as someone who perpetuates the status quo without reservation.

I say "without reservation" because i am aware of the fact that i am not at all guilt free when it comes to complacency and the perpetuation of the behaviors that are expected of someone of my upbringing and background. But what i am completely sure of is the fact that punk rock/hardcore had such a powerful effect on me that it completely turned my life upside down and inside out whithin a year or two of my stumbling across it. I didn't go looking for it and i didn't see it coming... it just hit me. And it made perfect sense at the same time that it made everything else seem like nonsense. It was about kids asking questions and challenging the things they were told to believe and it really did involve a certain amount of risk and commitment in order to get the most out of it. There is no way i will be able to forget the things i've been exposed to in my years of involvement in this community. I maynot always feel the same way about these things as i do now and i may not always feel as strongly as i currently do about the same things, but there is absolutely no doubt that i have been touched by this music and the community that surrounds it. I have been shaped by it, i have learned form it, and i believe i am all the better for my involvement in it... and i am not the only one.

That is the real reason that people continue to do the things they do to keep this scene vital, despite the current bullshit that is threatening to make it all insignificant. It is because they have grown, learned, taught and expanded within an environment that for almost 20 years has been a fiercely defended subculture that has managed to flow and change over time, while remaining fairly free of outside subterfuge or control. No one can determine where it goes and no one can shape it to thier specifications, and it could be argued that there isn't much that could kill it, but ther has always been a lot to take from it. In fact, there is so much that you could end up taking out of it, that it is almost impossible to be exposed to the punk rock for any time without being forced to question where you stand and what you are about. It may throw thier life into turmoil, but for a lot of people, it ends up clarifying who they are and where they stand.

So this is a call of sorts, a plea for people to get past the level of bullshit gossiping, mindless violence, petty competition and everything that has been holding us back in the past few years. This isn't the shit that you are going to remember 10 years down the line and it isn't going to be the shit that helps you define yourself. We've all been so distracted by these things that we haven't even noticed that punk rock has become a mere shadow of its former self as far as creativity, challenge, and originality. And don't be afraid to put your own actions under the same microscope that you use on those around you. It may be frightening, but it might just bring back around to a point where we can honestly say that we are a part of a unique subculture that is different than the rest of mainstream society. And we won't have to ask ourselves why... we'll know.

Yeah, i still believe in punk rock.

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