"Mad Dog" - It has come to my attention that 2 of the remaining 4 members of the Underworld Tournament have not arrived here in the CIA. Those being Dave Hunter and Inferno. Well since this is my show and I can do whatever I want I am just going to forfeit my match to Johnny Tso. Johnny, come out here and receive this title!
(Johnny Tso comes out to no music and enters the ring. He looks at "Mad Dog" and then the title. He grabs "Mad Dog"'s mic and starts to talk.)
Johnny Tso - Listen Briskout, I'm not stupid. I know there's a trick here somewhere.
"Mad Dog" - No trick Johnny. Since I am a member of the staff I have decided not to hold any titles.
Tso - So? Why should I just be given the title?
"Mad Dog" - No what you're right. Let me lie down for you.
(The crowd starts to cheer for some odd reason and Tso looks at "Mad Dog". He then turns around and is laid out by Some person! "Mad Dog" points to the title and gets out of the ring. A bell is heard.)
Joel - Looks like we're having a match right here for the Underworld Title Justin.
Justin Cole - I know. And look who's joining us. That damn bastard.
Joel - How ya doing "Mad Dog"?
"Mad Dog" - Good Joel. Trust me, "Angry Puppy" Briskout is going to win this match.
Justin Cole - We'll see.
(The match starts off with a chop by Tso. Tso and "Angry Puppy" walk around. Knee smash by Tso. Tso rolls "Angry Puppy" up with a backslide pin. Eric Huggins counts the pin ...1 "Angry Puppy" kicks out of the pin.)
"Mad Dog" - Dammit "Angry Puppy", get up!
Justin Cole - Wanna bet on this "Mad Dog"?
"Mad Dog" - Sure, 5 dollars.
Joel - Sheesh. Justin, might as well pay now cuz "Angry Puppy" is going to win.
(Tso and "Angry Puppy" lockup. "Angry Puppy" throws Tso outside. He follows. They lockup. Johnny irish whips "Angry Puppy" into the guard rail. "Angry Puppy" hits the guard rail and falls to the concrete. Tso pulls "Angry Puppy" to his feet.)
Joel - And these two sure are putting alot on the line.
Justin Cole - Yeah. The Underworld Title!
"Mad Dog" - And my honor!
(They lockup. Tso tries for a armbar but it's countered with a spinning heel kick by "Angry Puppy". Tso was knocked down. "Angry Puppy" then stomps on Tso 5 times. He picks him up and irish whips him into the ropes and Tso comes back with a body press.)
"Mad Dog" - That's it.
("Mad Dog" grabs the Underworld Title and goes into the ring. Eric Huggins tries to grabs the belt but "Mad Dog" hits him with it. "Mad Dog" then turns "Angry Puppy" around and nails him with the belt. He also nails Tso with the belt. Then out of the crowd comes the Green Blazer who pins "Angry Puppy". "Mad Dog" counts 1-2 but Eric Huggins stomps on "Mad Dog". "Mad Dog" gets up and chases Huggins out of the ring and through the crowd. "Angry Puppy" then grabs the Green Blazer and hits the Pizza Slice! He stalls and is turned around by Johnny Tso who hits The Big HIT! He then pins "Angry Puppy" and another ref comes out.)
Joel - NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! GET UP BLAZER!
Justin Cole - YES! ONE..TWO..THREE! Aha! Johnny won!
Joel - Dammit!
Justin Cole - Speaking of dammit, this show is brought to you by Ritter Chocolate. Take a Bite from Alfred Ritter's German Chocolate!
Joel - Well anyways...I hear right now Nina Garcia is backstage now.
(The scene changes quickly to Nina outside of Wolf's locker room. She is waiting for him to come out when an earthquake starts to happen. Or at least the camera man thinks so when he turns he sees Fat Man. Nina looks at the massive fat of Fat Man and thinks about something. She then looks down and runs off. Fat Man sees the camera man and grabs the microphone on the floor.)
Fat Man - Tonight, Mr. Briskout has informed me that me and Phantasmo Jr. are going to team up together against two mystery opponents. Well we're so Phat together that we're going to win!
(Fat Man then farts and the camera man falls. Fat Man says something that isn't heard and the ground shakes. We cut back to the ring.)
Joel - That was creepy shit.
Justin Cole - Yes. Well next is the first ever CIA Hardcore Title match!
Joel - Woohoo...
Nina - This match is a Hardcore match and is for the Hardcore Title! Now coming to the ring, STREET BOY!
(The Gilligan Isle theme starts to play. He comes out and gets into the ring.)
Nina - And his opponent, the Hardcore Champ, SLASH!
(Now some generic rock music plays and Slash comes out. He gets into the ring and raises the title. But before the bell rings "Third Stone from the Sun" by Hendrix plays and "Mad Dog" comes out with a mic. He looks pissed and is waving his arms.)
"Mad Dog" - This match is called off! I decided that I'm expressing my anger now! Slash and Street Boy, you two will tag team in a 4 way tag match tonight! It will be after Prime's match with The Inner Circle. And the winner is the number one contender for the Tag Titles! Oh by the way, it's also gonna have Rock-Star Richard Royal and Gorgeous Garret Rogers teaming up, the Blazers and finally Fan-whatever Jr. and Fat Boy!
Joel - Wow. That's late-
"Mad Dog" - Oh by the way Slash, if you get pinned on MY show in any type of match with that title, you will lose it.
(Slash looks pissed and Street Boy looks confused. The crowd is also confused.)
"Mad Dog" - You dumb hillbillies, the Hardcore title has a Lose Anywhere rule which I thought of myself!
Joel - This guy's a genius.
Justin Cole - Sheesh.
(Street Boy's still confused but then figures it out. He goes outside of the ring and grabs a chair. Slash exits the ring and goes through the crowd. "Mad Dog" leaves the ring area laughing. Scene cuts backstage where Prime Offender is. He's standing outside of a cubicle when Sexyking comes up to him.)
Sexyking: Can I be your partner Prime Offender?
(Now The Great Buddah comes.)
Buddah - NO! I MUST BE! I AM BUDDAH!
(They start to fight and Prime Offender shakes his head. Then The Iceman comes up to him.)
The Iceman - Choose me! PLEASE!
(Prime Offender looks at him and walks off carrying his title with him. He's then stopped by a hand that pops out of a door. Prime goes into that room and the camera man follows. The hand belonged to none other than Jeebus. Prime Offender sees him and shakes his head. Then Wolf comes in.)
Wolf - JEEBUS YOU BASTARD! ME AND YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT NEXT WEEK!
Jeebus - ARRRRR!
Prime - Ok. I need to find someone sane.
(Jeebus and Wolf start ARRRRRing each other and Prime walks off and bumps into Body Breaker. He smiles and walks off. Body Breaker shrugs and continues to walk. Then "Mad Dog" comes out of his office and sees Prime Offender.)
"Mad Dog" - Prime! Come here!
(Prime Offender looks at him and ignores him. He continues walking.)
"Mad Dog" - PRIME LOSER! I SAID COME HERE!
(Prime stops and turns around. He walks up to "Mad Dog".)
Prime - What?
"Mad Dog" - Have you picked your partner?
Prime - Yes. Body Breaker!
(Body Breaker comes running back and is out of breath.)
BB - WHAT?
Prime - You're the best guy. You know their strengths and weaknesses. You can wrestle FOR ME!
"Mad Dog" - Ok...You two go now.
(The scene goes back to the ring.)
Joel - Wow. What a pick...
Justin Cole - I wonder why he picked him...
Joel - Because he's smart!
(A bell rings)
Nina Garcia - This match is a tag match. Coming to the ring first, Christopher "Celestial" and Cereal Killer!
(It's Cereal Killer: by Green Jelly starts to play and the crowd cheers. Out from the back comes Cereal Killer but no "Celestal". Cereal Killer gets scared and enters the ring.)
Nina Garcia - And their opponents, Prime Offender and Body Breaker!
(Timebomb by Frank Klepacki starts to play. Then Prime Offender comes out with a reluctant Body Breaker. Prime Offender comes down to the ring and laughs. Cereal Killer then rushes up to Prime and tackles him. A quick chop by Cereal Killer and Body Breaker enters the ring and sits in a corner. Prime Offender is getting tossed around by Cereal Killer.)
Joel - Seems like Body Breaker doesn't wanna fight.
Justin Cole - Would you?
Joel - Yes.
(Cereal Killer then goes to the ropes and tries for a clothesline but it is reversed into a choke slam. Prime Offender then attacks Body Breaker. He stomps him a few times until Body Breaker reverses it and starts to fight back.)
Joel - That backstabber!
Justin Cole - Well he didn't wanna fight anyways.
(Prime then tries to Powerslam Prime Offender but Prime reverses it into a Crime in Progress. He then drags Body Breaker onto Cereal Killer and Scott Owen counts 1-2-3. It's over.)
Nina - Here's your winners, Body Breaker and Prime Offender!
Joel - Wow, Body Breaker pinned Cereal Killer.
Justin Cole - Well our main event is ne-
(Justin is again interupted, this time by The Omen(Ave Satani) by Fantômas and Jeebus appears on the top of the ramp. He comes down and grabs a mic. He gets in the ring.)
Jeebus - Well first off, I wanna address something. It's Wolf. He wants to fight me well he will! In a Spiff match! Wolf will explain it next week! Now next off I wanna tell something to The X.
(Jeebus is interupted by "Mouth for War" by PanterA. The a huge barbed wired X appears on the Insane-O-Tron. The X walks down to the ring as his theme music plays. The X stands at the top of the ramp and holds his arms in an "X" above his head, as pyro explodes. He walks down to the ring with purpose. The rolls in the ring under the bottom rope, and then walks over to the ring corner and hops up on the top rope, so the fans can take some snapshots of him. X hops off the top rope and indicates he would like a microphone. The X taps the top of the microphone to make sure it is working before raising it to his lips.
X - The X would like to tell you something Jeebus. The X doesn't like people talking about The X behind The X's back.
Jeebus - STOP THAT!
X - The X will not stop whatever you are talking about. I am The X!
Jeebus - Anyways I want you stop that! I am Jeebus!
X - But I'm the X! Now the X is leaving!
(The X leaves and Jeebus then gets mad. A commercial about Ritter chocolate plays. The screen comes back to the ring.)
Joel - That was weird.
Justin Cole - Yeah. Now our ta-
Joel - Tag match is next!
Justin Cole - DAMN YOU PEOPLE!
Joel - What?
Justin Cole - Never mind. Well we have to take another commercial.
Joel - Poop.
(Commercial about Ritter Chocolate. The screen comes back and all four teams [P. Jr and Fat Man, Rock-Star Richard Royal and Gorgeous Garret Rogers, Slash and Street Boy & the Blazers] and Don Wolverton has a mic.)
Don - The rules are simple. The last team member or team to survive this Over the Top elimination match is the number one contender.
(Kid Blazer runs into Fat Man who just stands there. Kid Blazer tries again and this time Phantasmo Jr. Interferes. They start to fight near the ropes and Slash eliminates both of them.)
Joel - 2 down, at least 6 to go!
Justin Cole - Ok..
(Fat Man and Green Blazer get mad and start arguing with Slash and Street Boy clips Fat Man. Fat Man falls and the whole arena shakes. Street Boy is squashed.)
Justin Cole - Good god! Fat Man fell and can't get up!
(Joel laughs hysterically. Richard Royal and Garret Rogers go outside and grab two chairs. They then reenter the ring and attack Slash. The Green Blazer tries to pull Street Boy from under Fat Man but can't. He makes a loud sigh and then tries to pull Fat Man. He can't do that either so he sighs and sits down. Joel is still laughing.)
Justin Cole - Shut up.
Joel - I (laugh) can (laugh) not (laugh) stop! (Laughter)
Justin Cole - Sheesh.
(Royal and Rogers then both try to pick up Fat Man and give up also. Then Green Blazer, Rogers and Royal all try to pick up Fat Man but can't. Rogers rolls under the ropes and heads backstage. Garret looks at his partner and is eliminated by The Green Blazer.)
Joel - (Laugh)
Justin Cole - Where's Royal going?
Joel - (Laugh)
Justin Cole - Sheesh.
(A horn is heard and then a forklift comes out. The crowd laughs and The Green Blazer looks. He laughs also. Garret Rogers gets back in and throws The Blazer over. The Blazer then gets mad and argues with the ref who is pointin to the back to Rogers and Blazer. Rogers ignores and plls out a big piece of plywood from under the ring. He sets it up so Richard can get into the ring. Richards goes up it breaking the ropes. He then starts to push Fat man off of Street Boy. Garret grabs the unconcious Street Boy and throws him over.)
Justin Cole - You gotta be kidding me!
Joel - (Laugh)
Justin Cole - Stop!
(A slap is heard and Joel stops laughing. Garret and Richard both try to roll Fat Man on the forklift but can't. Fat Man is struggling to get up when Garret and Richards finally get him on. Garret then goes in reverse until he falls out of the ring. Fat Man falls to the ground and the bell rings. All security guards come out and try to help Fat Man up but can't. The bell rings.)
Nina - The winner is Rock-Star Richard Royal and Gorgeous Garret Rogers!
(The crowd booes at the announcement then 3R and GGR get mad. Al Ritter and The X are shown on the top of the ramp with their tag titles as CIA Friday goes black. The CIA logo is shown and then a Ritter Chocolate commercial is shown.)
[OOC: Thanks to X for letting me control the card, Al for coming back and others for rping.
Head Card Writer: "Mad Dog"]
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