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Title: Jack waits for Johnny's next opponent
Posted By: "Lucky" Johnny Tso
Title: the good old days
Posted By: Slash
Title: back
Posted By: Street Boy
Title: Scratch an Sniff
Posted By: Jeebus
Title: Comments
Posted By: Slash
Title: Matches for This Week!
Posted By: "Mad Dog" Briskout
Title: HELLO PEOPLE
Posted By: The Iceman
Title: Did You See What I Just Saw?
Posted By: Wolf
Title: The Champ is here
Posted By: The Great Buddah
Title: You got it
Posted By: Street Boy
Title: ANYBODY
Posted By: The Iceman
Title: promises
Posted By: Slash
Title: BREAK IT DOWN!!!
Posted By: Body Breaker
Title: ICEMAN!
Posted By: Body Breaker
Title: Prime Number
Posted By: Cereal Killer
Title: Guess Who?
Posted By: Al Ritter
Title: Why I Did What I Did..
Posted By: Al Ritter
Title: Ritter HUGZ ^-^
Posted By: Jeebus
Title: An Intimate Interview with Jeebus.
Posted By: Jeebus
Title: TGB wants you
Posted By: The Great Buddah
Title: Why WE are the best tag team! (Did it work this t
Posted By: Gorgeous Garret Rogers
Title: Ritter says "hi" to many... (2many?)
Posted By: Al Ritter
Title: TGB and Body Breaker
Posted By: The Iceman
Title: Its all about to happen
Posted By: The Great Buddah
Title: Killer from Finland has camed
Posted By: Sexyking
Title: Title: Ritters Chocolate?
Posted By: Al Ritter
Title: Someone gets Crushed.
Posted By: Rock-Star Richard Royal
Title: WOLF/ JEEBUS
Posted By: Jeebus
Title: The Phat is back
Posted By: Fat Man
Title: eM pleH
Posted By: Fat Man
Title: Team Up
Posted By: Fat Man
Title: Rezner shoots on... EVERYONE.
Posted By: Clint Rezner
Title: The Crime Fighting Duo *Comedy*
Posted By: Wolf
Title: Jeebus gets arrested.(long and boring)
Posted By: Jeebus
Title: It was all a dream *JEEBUS*
Posted By: Wolf
Title: Title: Its all your fault!!!
Posted By: Al Ritter
Title: Gettting Revenge (everyone who was in the tag team
Posted By: Street Boy
Title: Wolf on Trial Day 1
Posted By: Jeebus
Title: Tag team
Posted By: Sexyking
Title: The trial part 2
Posted By: Wolf
Title: Chief of Staff, I Guess
Posted By: Richard Bregnard
Title: Irresistable Force? Immovable Object?
Posted By: Hardbody
Title: Steiner is here
Posted By: scott stiener
Title: Bifter Central! *JEEBUS*
Posted By: Wolf
Title: Lost In Dartmouth
Posted By: Prime Offender
Title: Chit Brickhouse
Posted By: Sexyking
Title: Sexyking - Match Set
Posted By: Richard Bregnard
Title: Jack waits for Johnny's next opponent
Posted By: "Lucky" Johnny Tso
[Panama Jack is seen smiling and leaning back on a chair as the camera twists toward a plush desk. He is smoking a fat cigar and humming to himself happily. His smoke trails practically make little dollar signs for the way he moves the cigar around. The camera zeroes in on the nameplate The X and then zooms back out again. The sound of a door opening can be heard, and as it squeaks closed, Johnny walks into view. ]
Johnny Jack what are you doing here?
P. Jack Johnny, old son, what a fantastic victory you had. Sure and away you had him
Johnny Well yeah. He spent too much time in that seat, Jack. I suspect my next opponent wont be so easy to defeat.
P. Jack Well, Im going to be sitting here, waiting for that arrogant nancy to show his X here. Heh.
Johnny What is it that you wanted, anyway, Jack?
P. Jack Head on over to that place, Abaddon. Ill be meetin ya there. Ive just got to wrap up the biz here, ysee got to finalize the new details of yer contract an' all soon enough, Ill be over there to join ya!
Johnny What what do you think Im going to be doing there? I dont want to have to fight again, Jack not tonight.
P. Jack Johnny, Johnny, my boy! Youre like Teflon, just like in the bad old days, what? Nothin touches you, does it? So, listen here, then now that you got your rhythm, now ya need to relax, what? Six nights of training aint bad, old son, but now youve got the game yknow, and its time to celebrate a little.
Johnny I dont celebrate. Dont we need the money, Jack?
P. Jack Hey, thats one of the reasons Ill be joining you, what? Im collecting some notes from that tall wanker there, you know?
[Johnny turns to walk out and the camera pans after him. He stops at the door and looks over his shoulder at the hedonistic Jack. With a slight frown, he clears his throat. ]
Johnny Im not going to be around, Jack be careful. Show some respect if you dont remember, thats what got you in trouble in the first place, you know?
[Jack suddenly gets up, his teeth gritted as if hed just been hit in the stomach. He springs out of the seat with a surprising amount of speed and agility (though truthfully still not unlike a pregnant yak) and walks up to Johnny. He slaps a meaty hand on Johnnys shoulder and throws a bit of weight on it. ]
P. Jack Now you hold on there just one moment, Johnny, my boy. I do you a good and respectable job, now dont I? You think anyone could do the job Ive done for you? Yeah, I got big brass balls when it comes for it, but sometimes you got to play hardball with these yanks, dont'cha? Now, you get on and dont worry about ol Jack, none. I dont take to you sassing me when you know full well that you are the reason Im here, Johnny old son you and you alone. Just cause I want you to relax, I dont want you to forget.
[Johnnys shoulders slump slightly, and Jacks hand slides off. With a lower tone and a lowered head, he reaches for the door. ]
Johnny Im sorry, Jack. I dont mean to insult you Im glad youre helping me out. I just get concerned sometimes. This isnt Hong Kong
P. Jack I know that, dont I? Im living in a back room with a little couper to skate around town in! You think I cant tell the difference?
Johnny Yeah Ill see you later then, Jack.
P. Jack Thats right! You will, wontcha?
[Johnny leaves, closing the door quietly. Jack stands there for a moment, then stifles laughter as he walks back to the commissioners seat. He drops into the seat and leans back, swinging his feet up to the desk. He lowers his hat over his head, smiling and inordinately pleased with himself, resigned to take a short nap while waiting for the commissioner. ]
P. Jack Heh Jack old man youve still got the talent, what?
[The camera cuts to a commercial. ]
Title: the good old days
Posted By: Slash
(( the scene fades in on the CIA parking lot, as a Silver Mustang Shelby Cobra pulls into one of the front spots. Slash climbs out, pulling out his duffle bag from the backseat. he slings it across his shoulder and walks to the CIA arena door. A security guard blocks him from it. ))
Guard: Sorry pal, authorized personnel only.
Slash: I am authorized personnel! I am Slash!
Guard: Oh! Pardon me, Mr. Slash, go right on in!
(( Slash enters, an angry look on his face. He walks down the hall and into his old locker room. He sets his duffle bag on his couch and opens the closet in the locker room. Out of it he pulls out a title belt. He blows the dust off of it and slings it over his shoulder. ))
Slash: Ah, the good ol' days. Time to get back to what I do best, beat the crap outta people hardcore style! The HC champ is back!!
(( Camera fade ))
Title: back
Posted By: Street Boy
(streey boy and his manager Gary Coleman are going back to work but the door is locked)
Street Boy- Gary host me up to that window
Gary- Wouldn't it be easier if I went up
Street Boy- stop talking and host me up we are losing valuable kicking Slash's ass time
Gary- good point
Gary hosts up Street Boy into the building and Street Boy opens the front door and together they set off looking for Slash so Street Boy cn claim what is rightfully his the hardcore title
Title: Scratch an Sniff
Posted By: Jeebus
::Jeebus pulls into his memorial Parking spot which is right next to the back entrance on the third floor of the Parking Garage, Jeebus gets out as the the security guard gives Jeebus a odd stare:::
Security Guard: Jeebus?
Jeebus: Yes Jimmy?::Jeebus smiles::
Jimmy: What tha hell happened to you?:::shakin his head::
Jeebus: What do you mean?
Jimmy: Man You shaved!!! What tha fuck is that all about?
Jeebus: I don't know I was having this wicked trip on some mushrooms and then I decided to trim my beard and then trim it some more and then even more and bassically I ended up shaving, but I mean I'm still pretty hot.
Jimmy: Well shit I was worried for a second though, somebody put up a picture of you on the bulletin board well rather a picture of some fat piece of shit Elvis impersonator unless that was a pic of you from highschool in your akward years::Jeebus slants his head to one side:: but he sort of looked like you if well you gained like 4 times your body weight and wore pants that were far too tight or wore pants at all, and yeah well the guy in the pic had some mad chops though. Which really was why I was worried.
Jeebus: Dude:::jeebus starts giggling::: he he he Thats fucked up.
Jimmy: Well I didn't put the pic up.
Jeebus: better not have he he he, man I'm gonna have to see that. So wait so who else is here today?
Jimmy: Well Slash has comeback, I think I saw a guy from CWA and I saw Street Boy and some Politically Correct Little Bitch lurkin about.
Jeebus: alrighty::grabing his duffle bag from his car(88 rust colored Yugo)well keep up the good work, and let me know when my friend shows up.
Jimmy: Uhh you have friends ha h aha
Jeebus: Yeah funny very funny, now watch it before I loose my sense of uhh well drug haze ha ha h aha. ::As Jeebus walks in the door and The Security Guard sits down and just shakes his head and grins:::
:::Jeebus is walkin along the halls, when he runs into Slash:::
Slash: WOAH!!!
Jeebus: What?
Slash: DUDE??
Jeebus: Like totally?
Slash: I heard you like retired and moved to florida or canada or Afghanistan or something.
Jeebus: Holy shit Did I? :::annoyed:: Damn it what tha fuck am I doing here/?::Shaking his head in annoyance::: Well shit since I'm allready here might aswell make the best of it eh? ::Jeebus smiles::
Slash: Alright your scaring me now,::jeebus is confused:: You never talk like that.
Jeebus: What do you mean I don't ever talk like that?
Slash: Coherently.....well somewhat, Are you on Extacy or something?
Jeebus::Smiles:: Dude My duffle bag is full of glowsticks and and horrible House music. You wanna go get naked in my dressing room and dance the night away?::Jeebus is smiling overlly large and his eyes are all squinty:::
Slash::Scared:: Uhmm man just relax and take a deep breath and after that turn around and count to 20 and then don't search for me.
Jeebus::blinks::
Slash: UUUHkay ::with a worried look walks away:::
Jeebus::talking to him self with a smile::: What a nice guy, I'm gonna have to get him a fruitbasket.::as Jeebus walks to his dressing room with a spring in his step:::
Title: Comments
Posted By: Slash
(( The camera fades in on Slash sitting on his couch in his locker room. The Hardcore title is strapped around his arm, like a very large armband. ))
Slash: Well, well, if it wasn't my old friend Street Boy. You and I had some very powerful battles. I sure woudn't mind another confrontation between the two of us.
(( Slash stands up, and walks around his coffee table. he turns on the TV to the major battle he had with Street Boy, Viper, and MonoXide. ))
Slash: yeah, that was some night, we beat the living s**t out of each other. But, it was one of my better matches here. So, Street Boy, you've proven yourself a worthy competitor. anytime, anywhere. I also have a proposal for you Street Boy. Now, we can have our match for this title whenever, but what I'm moving my focus to now is the tag team titles. I need a partner, and I know no one else here worthy enough to become one, so if you're interested, give me a ring.
(( Slash turns off the video footage, walks back to his couch, and sits down. ))
Slash: you know what they say, Keep your freinds close, but keep your enemies even closer...
(( Camera fade ))
Title: Matches for This Week!
Posted By: "Mad Dog" Briskout
X, If you don't like these fine, change them. But these are from the friggin VP of Canadian Relations and a GM!
Friday
"Mad Dog" Briskout v. "Lucky" Johnny Tso
Dave Hunter v. Inferno
Street Boy v. Slash for the Hardcore Title
Prime Offender and Partner of his Choosing v. Christopher "Celestial" and Cereal Killer
Title: HELLO PEOPLE
Posted By: The Iceman
YO im new to this league and i wanna be noticed around here.I am the best wrestler in the world. i issue a challenge to anybody to face me in a match.
Title: Did You See What I Just Saw?
Posted By: Wolf
[The scene cuts to the parking area. A rather nice Toyota sports car is parked up. The trunk of the car is open obscurring the owners head. The theme tune to Star Wars is bein precisly whistled. Suddenly the camera drops to the floor to the sound of laughter from the unknown car owner]
*Voice* "Since you just took the liberty of tripping over my gym bag. Maybe your clumsy star wars watchin ass can give me a hand"
*Camera Man* "But!"
[The camera cuts out]
:::::::Commercial::::::::
[The shot changes to the backstage area which is largely deserted. The camera man is carrying a gym bag. He is shaking his head and cursing under his breath]
*Camera Man* "Hmmm. Stupid ingrate. I get payed to take shots not haul bags around. Wait til the boss hears about this. And to think he called me a stars wars watcher. Ive only seen the Phantom menace twice and it sucks. Although the fight scene at the end was pretty -"
[The camera man is cut short by a shouting voice]
*Voice* "Hey Bub you forgot something!.."
[The camera mans fave turns red and he turns around and cracks a fake smile at the unknown person]
*Camera Man* "What is it sir"
*Voice* "Oh never mind. I'll get my own Coffee!"
[The shot changes again to the back of someone. His hair is tied back in a pony tail. He points the camera man towards his locker room and goes down the opposite corridor towards Jeebus's locker room. He gets there to find the Door slightly Ajar. The camera peers in over the mans shoulder to find Jeebus and Jimmy Bruce playing cards.]
*Jeebus* "SNAP!"
*Jimmy* "Thats the 3rd time you whooped me"
[The man chuckles and begins to speak]
*Man* "Didn't I always tell ya I'd be back guys!"
[A look of disbelief throws across the face of Jeebus and Jimmy]
*Man* "Maybe some other time then"
[The camera shot fixes to the stunned faces of Jimmy and jeebus]
*Jimmy* "Please tell me you didn't see what i just saw."
*Jeebus* "Okay I wont dude..But you know if you carry on eating cheese the way you do then your gonna start seeing Wolf every where you go!"
[Jimmy chuckles then realises the joke]
*Jimmy* "Hey who said anything about Wolf.?"
*Jeebus* "You did just now..[Grins]..Oh man I think we both need to lay off the cheese. These shared hullicinations are not good for people like us"
[Jimmy and Jeebus go back to there rousing game of snap]
[Camera Fades]
Title: The Champ is here
Posted By: The Great Buddah
The Lights cut out for a bit....then they come back on..everyone is wondering what just happened...
Title: You got it
Posted By: Street Boy
((the camera show street boy in his room fixing himself))
street boy- Slash you offered me an offer I can't refuse. You are and amazing competitor I must admit. So as to your proposal yes I will be your tag team partner.
Justin Cole- What did Street Boy just declare huimself a tag team partner to a man we have seen him have some of the best fights the world has ever seen with
Street Boy- But you have to promise me something. You wont chicken away from me just as were about to get the gold as my last two partners have done. I am a nice guy if you'd get to know me and believe me nice guys don't finish last. But one thing, my good budy Gary Coleman must be our manager if your fine with that than we have a team.
Title: ANYBODY
Posted By: The Iceman
yo im the best wrestler this league has.i am the man.i deserve respect.i want a match and i want it now!!!!
Title: promises
Posted By: Slash
(( Slash is walking down the hall when he suddenly he walks into Street Boy. ))
Slash: ah, just the guy I wanted to see. listen Street Boy, I'm a man of my word, and I definately ain't gonna chicken out on anything. I mean, chickens don't make the best Hardcore champions. as far as your little manager is concerned, all that goes through my mind is who's ass is next on my ass-kicking list. So, if he wants to stand at ringside and watch me do what i do best, than he is more than welcome to, as long as he doesn't get in my way.
(( Slash and Street Boy shake hands. ))
Slash: but on to more recent matters. Seems that you get your shot after all. Just don't think that now that we're officially partners, that I'm going o go easy on you. this match type is my forte, and I'm not going to dissapoint all of those CIA fans just because you're my opponent. May the bst man win.
Street Boy: yeah, well, I got a few tricks up my sleeve too, and if you haven't noticed, hardcore matches aren't exactly new to me. So I don't expect you to go easy on me, and I'm sure you don't expect me to go easy on you either. So, like you said, may the best man, me, win.
Slash: we'll see.
(( Street Boy and Slash walk off as the camera fades. ))
Title: BREAK IT DOWN!!!
Posted By: Body Breaker
Joe C: Oh my god here he comes here comes the BODY BREAKER!!!
Body Breakers music hits and Body Breaker comes down to the ring! Body Breaker has a blue 4Life tshirt and blue and white sunglasses and blue and white boas! Body Breaker has two really really hot chikes hanging on his huege 27 inch pythons. ONe hot chick is wereing blue and the other hot chick is waering white. Body Breaker is playing the air guitar and singing along to his song as the brithgt blue and white lights flash on and off!!
Body Breaker: Ill stand up on top of a mountain and chop it DOWN with the SIDe of my hand!!!
Body Breaker gets in the ring rips off his shirt and starts Breaking Down for the fans!!! One off the really hot chicks faints!
Body Breaker: Oh yeah brother! BOdy Breaker is back and he his bac k to break it down for each and everyone of my Breakeraholics out there! Yell if you can here me!!
ALl of Body Breakers Breakeraholics start chanting BREAKER BRESKER BREAKER!!!
Body Breaker: Oh hell yeah you got that right! Body Breaker is here and he is going strait up to the top of the mountain and then I will chop down that mountain with thte side of my hand! It dont matter if you are ICW, ICW, CWA, CIA, SOL, SOS, MIA Ill take you out! It dont matter if you are Prime Offender, Jeebus, Street Boy, I will take you out! It dont matter if you are Mad Dog, The X, or anyone else in charge, I will do and say and do anything I damn sure wnat to do! If you dont like it too bad! Now what are you going to do when the new and improved Body Breaker goes and Breaks the hell up, all over you Brother!?!
Body Breaker starts Breaking up angin!! All his fans yell and cheer, the other hot chick faints!!! Body Breaker puts hot chick # 1 onver one shoulder and hot chick # 2 over his other shoulder and takes both hot chicks backstage to show them just what Breaking Up all over the place is all about!!!
Title: ICEMAN!
Posted By: Body Breaker
This is the Body Breaker! I will Break Your body! I want a match with the Iceman! I will but him on ice! Someone sign the match already! Mad Dog! The X! Whoever! I want a hardcore match with the ICEMAN! So, what are you going to do ICeman! What are you going to do when I break up all over you!?!?!
Title: Jeebus and Friend
Posted By: Jeebus
::Jeebus is sitting on a bench in his dressing room properlly labeled as the Latvian Stallions dressing room, Jeebus scratches his now somewhat scratchy face. As The X walks in:::
The X: man I just Wolf.
Jeebus: Shit so it wasn't the cheese.
The X: Cheese?
Jeebus: Nevermind, so anyhoo hows CIA looking?
The X: So far so good. I'm waiting for a key player to come back but I'm sure he will.
Jeebus: yeah I'm waiting for suzy lightfeet and Assmuncher dave.
The X:::laffs:: Tha fuck?
Jeebus: I don't know I'm just out of pott and cops are goin apeshit on this town and have been all this time weve been gone, The Paron family has moved its operation and I'm just praying somebody can score some shit couse this is getting fucking dangerous, I mean me without my pott is like fucking Mad Bryan without his fucking meds.
The X: Shit yeah dude. Well shit I don't know I'v been rellying on booze my self.
Jeebus:::Jeebus is all twitchy:: Seriouslly man if my friend don't come through I'm gonna go through these rookies like Fat Man would through a Restaurant.
The X: Yeah as long as they got the wide doors that is.
Jeebus::grins:: Man I miss that bloke, I hope he comes back. And Damn he better not have lost weight.
The X: He said it was glandural and then he said he was depressed oh yeah and then he had a baby and blah blah he's I'm sure fatter than ever and if there is one reason he wont come back its becouse he's so fat he got him self a fucking coronary.
Jeebus: man I hope so. I mean no I mean ha ha ha I hope he comes back and is fat ha haha. Thin man just dosent have the same ring.
The X:::Suddenlly his cell phone rings with the dirge from Pantera::: Oh shit I gotta run, but yeah I came to tell ya that Just for you in the cafeteria there is now a frozen foods section.
Jeebus: Cool
The X: Heh yeah gotta run:::As The X grabs te phone and answers it and storms out the door:::
::Jeebus just looks around the room and scratches his no longer bearded chin with sad face, then looks at the clock on the wall::
Jeebus: God damn I should of brought my plant with me Damn it.::jeebus shakes his head:::
Title: Prime Number
Posted By: Cereal Killer
Neon green lights, Fog, & Music fill the arena. (Its Cereal Killer: by Green Jelly)
Cereal Killer enters the arean to a large POP of cheers from his fans in the areana. The Cereal Killer makes his way down & into the ring with a mic in his hand and heres what he said: Hi Kids NV me cause Im Cereal Killer. Hey guess what? I quit the ICW a while back right? Like maybe a week ago right? Well I was sitting at home eating cearel and wathcing Yu-Gi-Oh when Body Breaker came over. He told me theat matd dog wanted me to fight with Celestal vs Prime Offender and a partner of Prime Offenders choice. I thought he was lying to me. But I looked and sure enought theat was what happened. SO the way I see it is this. Ceseltal wont show up. Prime Offedner will chose not to have a partner. So it will be Prime Offedner vs Cereal Killer one on one! Its simple math. Cereal Killer + Prime Offender = Easy Win! As easy as one two theree.
Neon green lights, Fog, & Music fill the arena. (Its Cereal Killer: by Green Jelly)
Title: Guess Who?
Posted By: Al Ritter
A normal night at the Clandestine Insane Asylum arena...
The crowd is gathered for a charity show, the Ryan Steel memorial card. Several wrestlers from several different organizations have gathered to raise money for the late Insane CHAMPIONSHIP wrestler, who met his untimely end at the hands of fellow ICW wrestler, Jeebus. Old time announcers, Nina Garcia Justin Cole, and Joe Coffey are at ringside calling the action.
The show is at the midway point. Suddenly the first cords of "Mouth for War" by PanterA fires up over the loudspeaker. A huge barbed wire "X" appears on the Insane Continental Wrestling big screen. (The "Insan-A-Tron"?) The X walks down to the ring as his theme music plays.
? ? ? ? ? ?
"Revenge.
I'm screaming revenge again.
Wrong.
I've been wrong for far too long
Been constantly so frustrated
I've moved mountains with less
When I channel my hate...
Bones in traction
hands break to hone raw energy
bold and disastrous, my ears can't hear what you say to me..."
? ? ? ? ? ?
Joe Coffey : I have this part... cover your ears...
*BOOM!*
The X stands at the top of the ramp and holds his arms in an "X" above his head, as pyro explodes. He walks down to the ring with purpose. The rolls in the ring under the bottom rope, and then walks over to the ring corner and hops up on the top rope, so the fans can take some snapshots of him. X hops off the top rope and indicates he would like a microphone. A ring girl hands The X a microphone. The X opens his leather coat to reveal the two C.I.A. tag team titles. He puts one on each shoulder, making an X across his chest with the belts. The X taps the top of the microphone to make sure it is working before raising it to his lips.
"Finally... The X has come BACK... to... uh... whatever city I'm in this week. Unless it's a city I've never been too... Then I wouldn't be coming back, I'd just be here. I think. Anyway, before the X losses his train of thought, the X has something very important to say, so listen up. It has come to the attention of the X, that the X has two belts. But the X is only one man, so how can the X have two belts? Simple. The X is two times, two times, two times the man than any of you will ever be. The could hold two belts, three belts, hell the X cold hold sixty nine belts, four hundred and twenty belts, six hundred and sixty six belts, the X cold hold any amount of belts that the X wants, because the X is just that damn good!"
Joe Coffey : Oh man, I've got a headache... How many times did he say "The X"?
Justin Cole : Four hundred and twenty?
Nina Garcia : Quiet you two. I want to hear this.
The X is pacing back and forth. "Unfortunately, The rules clearly state that the X can't hold the belts alone, that the X needs a partner. Figuratively speaking of course. Someone to stand on the ring corner and watch the X take care of business as only the X can. So the X spent the last twenty four hours on the phone, and the X has chosen the perfect partner... and without further ado... I introduce to you... weighing in at two pounds.... soaking wet and holding a brick... the X's partner.... JOBB DOOOOOOOG!!!"
The X reaches into his pants and pulls out a stuffed toy dog. The dog looks like a brown snoopy with white ears. "You mess with the X, and you are going to get DOGGED!" The X starts shaking the dog over his head and chanting DOG, DOG, DOG, DOG!"
Nina Garcia: Uh... what the hell?
Joe Coffey: Oh man, I remember that thing. The X thought that toy could talk... I haven't seen that thing in years.
Justin Cole : You can't have an inanimate object as a tag team partner... can you?
Joe Coffey : Well, Billy Gunn had Road Dog as a partner... so... yeah, I guess you can.
Nina Garcia: Hey now. Be nice.
Suddenly "Crush 'Em" by Megadeth fires up, and Gorgeous Garret Rogers and Rock Star Richard Royal come out on the top of the ramp.
? ? ? ? ? ?
"Into the arena, and hit the lights
Step up now your in for a ride
This is war, ain't no fun and games..
We get it up, you go down in flames..."
? ? ? ? ? ?
Gorgeous Garret Rogers has a mic. "Whoa there X.... Hey. Cut the music, I'm talking here. Alright. For those of you who don't know who we are, I'd like you to ask the person sitting next to you to help you pull your head out of your ass. Me and Royal here are one of the best tag teams to ever step foot in a wrestling ring. We were the three time Tag Team champions in ICW, and held the tag belts in a few other organizations as well. And that's why we are out here today. As a "real" tag team, this display in the ring makes us absolutely sick. We demand that you had us the belts right here and right now."
The X looks completely lost. "Hand you the belts?"
"Yeah!" Shouts Rock Star Richard Royal. "He said hand us the damn belts right here and right now! You can't have a stuffed dog as your tag team partner!"
The X's face drops. "I... can't? Why didn't anybody tell me..." Suddenly the X smiles. "Oh wait. That's cool. Ifll just go to plan B and bring out my other partner.h
Gorgeous Garret Rogers and Rock Star Richard Royal start to make their way down to the ring.
"Quit stalling and give us the belts." Says Rogers.
"Yeah" Adds Royal. "Cut the "Plan B" bullshit. We know you don't have a partner."
Suddenly the lights in the arena turn off. It remains silent for several seconds before gPrayerh by Disturbed starts up...
? ? ? ? ? ?
Another nightmare about to come true
Will manifest tomorrow
Another love that I've taken from you
Lost in time, on the edge of suffering
Another taste of the evil I breed
Will level you completely
Bring to life everything that you fear
Live in the dark, and the world is threatening
Let me enlighten you
This is the way i pray"
? ? ? ? ? ?
Suddenly a full moon spotlight shines in the middle of the ring. The few fans you recognize what the light means stand up and start cheering. The lights come back on and Al gthe Mad Dogh Ritter is standing in the middle of the ring.
Joe Coffey : What the [Censored]!?!
Nina Garcia: Son of a...
Justin Cole : I just peed in my pants.
The Showstoppers, Royal and Rogers, are also in the ring at this point. They pause before charging forward. Rogers tries for a closthsline on Ritter, but he ducks. The X knocks Rogers down with Job Dog.
Joe Coffey : Rogers just got dogged!
The X pulls a brick out of Job Dog and holds it over his head.
Joe Coffey : X, you rascal!
Ritter kicks Royal in the gut and gives him a reverse neckbreaker.
Justin Cole : Lunar Eclipse! Lunar Eclipse!
Ritter scales to the top rope and hits Royal with a Moonsault.
Nina Garcia : Full Moon Sault!
Ritter picks Royal up and throws him over the top rope. Rogers is staggering to his feet in the ring. The X gives Rogers a superkick, and he falls out of the ring and onto Royal. Ritter and The X get in each others faces and starts talking trash. Suddenly The X takes a few steps back and smiles. He holds out a belt for Ritter. Ritter reaches out, but The X drops the belt and walks out of the ring. In the ring, Ritter picks up the belt and holds it over his head as the crowd cheers.
Joe Coffey : Ritter is here... is he the Xfs partner? Why did the X drop the belt? What does this all mean?
[TBC]
Title: Why I Did What I Did..
Posted By: Al Ritter
Al the Mad Dog Ritter is walking around backstage after having helped the X fight off the team of the Showstoppers. Justin Cole runs up to Ritter with a mic.
JC: Ritter! Its been months since youve been seen, and almost a year since youve wrestled in the ring on a full time bases. Can you tell us why youve come back to the would of Pro Wrestling today?
Ritter: Justin Cole. Long time no see my man. Hows the wife and kids?
JC: I... uh... dont have any ...
Ritter: Oh yeah... Girlfriend then?
Justin Cole turns red.
Ritter: Ok... Nevermind. Now the hot question is... why is Ritter here. Its been forever and a day since Ritter has been anywhere. And why is Ritter in the ring with the X. You see, anyone that has known me and The X in the last five years knows that we spend 90% of our in ring time trying to end each others careers. So why am I watching the Xs back? Maybe I am... maybe Im not. Well just have to wait and see how things work out with me and The X. Fact of the matter is... Im here for this, first and foremost.
Ritter holds up the tag team title.
The Belt is first on my mind. Everything else is secondary, Ill worry about it when I get to it.
JC: Like the Showstoppers?
Ritter: [Censored] the Showstoppers. Their a freaking joke and a half. I mean, seriously. Does ANYONE take those two seriously?
JC: They are the former three time Tag Team Champion of Insane Championship wrestling....
Ritter: Transitional Champions. I dont think they held those titles for a month total between those three reighns as the champs. You go back and look at those matches... who did they win the belts from? Body Breaker and Cereal Killer? Shotgun and Jon the Bomb? Hell, the time they beat a REAL team was when they won the belts from Viper and Wolf at Hell to Pay. But they had to have Joy Edgier help them win the belts, and then they lost the belts back to Viper and Wolf three days later on an episode of ICW Hellfire. And believe me, I know my facts because I used to run the show.
JC: You cant underestimate the Showstoppers, if you look past them, thats the time you lose...
Ritter: Excuse me? Are you trying to tell ME who I should go about preparing for my matches? Just when did you get your managers license Cole? I may not be your boss anymore, but you WILL respect me. Now, there might be a few people out there complaining that I didnt earn this belt, that The X gave it to me and I didnt earn it. Those people can shut the hell up and face reality. The fact of the matter is, if their were some sort of tournament I would have won it all anyway. Im just that damn good. The way I see it everyone got saved alot of time and grief. Now as far as defending the belts go, anyone who wants a shot? Get your ass in line and take a number. I plan on defending these belts every chance I get. Now serving number 00, the Showstoppers. When me and The X get done with them, serve us up someone else, and well take them out just as easy.
JC: Now you say your going to defend the belts every chance you get. Does that mean you are back full time? And what about your back injury? I thought you were going to be out of full time action for a year?
Ritter: To answer your first question, Im back full time... kind of. Right now, for the first month or so? I might not be able to be around as much as I would like. But Im gong to make every efort possible to be a voluble part of this company. And once I am back at 100% in January, Im going to put this company on my shoulders and carry it strait to number one!
JC: Does that mean you will be back in a front office roll?
Ritter: No! God no. I want to focus on the in-ring part of the business for a while. Of course, if someone wanted me to book a few shows, or book a Pay Per View, I would probably consider it. Now as far as my back is concerned.... back in February of last year, I was wrestling for a place called EWF. There was a huge 30 man, extreme hardcore elimination match. The winner got a shot at the World title. I won the match, but suffered a severe back injury. I was slated to win the title, but we had to change the storyline and I lost, because I wouldnt be able to defend the belt. By the way, Id like to thank everyone in EWF that did such a good job of putting me over... X, Jeebus, Ryu, Fire, Cassius, Ant Hardy, Green Blazer, Jon the Bomb, Tonner, Cassius, Dragon, and everyone else. Anyway, After I left EWF, I started up Insane Championship Wrestling. I only wrestled once over two months, once a month? Something like that. And I always lost, and put the other wrestler over. Be it Body Breaker, Fyre, Jeebus, or whoever. Now like you said, I was going to be out a year. But I got better. And everyone is on notice. From the top of the roster to the bottom. Im not here to play around. And if you get in my way... The evil I breed will level you completely. Now this interview... is over.
Ritter glares at Justin Cole and walks off down the hallway.
Title: Will Ryu and Fat Man team up with me?
Posted By: Phantasmo Jr.
Hello all you American ventilators. My name is Phantasmo Jr Excuse please, my English very poor one. You see, I is new here in the clandestine insano asylum. My father, the Phantasmo worked for the proprietors of ICW, the X and the posteriora part of Ritter of the a a year ago. The last week the X requested me if it wanted to assemble a new combination of the old insano championship that fights, the new insana continental fight, and the clandestine asylum of fight. I thought that it would be a good idea to take from was my father had gone away extinguished. Saying that, it wanted to invite Ryu and to fat man to the equipment for above with me and reforming the group that my father was a part of, the international incident. What you think so? The fat man and Ryu will watch my posteriora part? I will be the honorable member of the equipment that you could always wish to have. When you do to him above for minds, I will hope between frames.
Title: Ritter HUGZ ^-^
Posted By: Jeebus
:::Jeebus fell out of his chair when he saw Ritter on TV back in the CIA back in Wrestling, about 5 minutes later Jeebus pulled him self up in a Bean bag then reached the phone and then called his private chiroprachtor who took about 20 minutes to get over to the Arena and then gave Jeebus a quick adjustment after which Jeebus exclaimed:::
Jeebus: Holy Crap I can move. Holy Crap Ritter is back::The Chiropractor shruged and then drove back to his golf game which Jeebus interupted:::
:::Minutes after Ritter gives his interview Jeebus catches up with Ritter in the hall, and a after a few tense moments they finally say hi to eachother, Jeebus proceeds to tell Ritter about all the stuff that has happened from the failed takeover to the UHW sucking the life out of everyone who was sucked into it when ICW closed for the second time, due to Jeebuses mob ties which just wouldnt let go:::
:::Ritter in return told Jeebus that he was amazed ICW hadnt been burned down for the Insurance money, to which Jeebus exclaimed that he hadn't been able to afford to pay insurance for several months, at which Ritter loughed, at this point Jeebus and Ritter parted ways and went theyr seperate paths, Ritter to the potty and Jeebus towards the Ring:::
Title: An Intimate Interview with Jeebus.
Posted By: Jeebus
:::The Omen(Ave Satani) by Fantmas starts to seep from the PA as the song all of a sudden speeds up and Starts Blastin Pyros Explode as Jeebus steps through them and on top of the ramp as the crowd goes nuts, Jeebus slowlly strolls down to ring side and joins Justin Cole for a one on one Interview:::
Justin Cole: Welcome back Jeebus to the CIA.
Jeebus: Thank you.
Justin Cole: I know it's on everyons mind so I will ask this first, did you know Ritter was coming back?
Jeebus: I knew he was coming back I just didn't know he was coming back this soon. I literally fell out of my chair when I saw him in the ring beating the crap out of R2D2 and G3.
Justin Cole: We just recentlly found out that you have been getting job offers from the WeW and acctually they have also been scouting Prime Offender. Any insight you can give us on that? Bassically are ya thinking about them?
Jeebus: Well I am flattered, But that's all I am. WeW is more family oriented and really Me and familly well are like Me and anything else I don't play well with anyone unless they know the game which I'm playing and that is pain and I plan on keeping all the Pain right here in the family, CIA lucky you. All my attention is focused right on you:::Jeebus points into the Camera as the Crowd explodes again:::
Justin Cole::Waits for the crowd to settle down:: Well were glad your staying with us. Since were on the topic what are your plans for here in the CIA?
Jeebus:::in a scottish accent::: I'm gonna peck a fight!::Jeebus smiles as The Omen the really hard and fast part of the song thunders from the PA and Jeeebus smiling at the crowd walks back up the ramp and dissapears behind the curtains::
Justin Cole: Well there you have it Jeebus one of the greatest wrestlers of our and perhaps all time. Is back and ready to take on the CIA. We Will be back in just a moment and we will catch you up on some forgotten Wrestlers and what they are doing today.
Title: TGB wants you
Posted By: The Great Buddah
The Great Buddahs manager Cassandra comes out and makes an annocement..
Cassandra:hello people the great one has arrived and i don't mean the Rock..I mean The Great Buddah and he wants to fight, and as we were sitting out the back we herd some clown make a challenge, The Great Buddah will except that challenge, Tonight ladies and Gentlemen it will be The Great Buddah Vs Iceman...,..
The Crowd goes wild
tbc:iceman
Title: Why WE are the best tag team! (Did it work this t
Posted By: Gorgeous Garret Rogers
The Showstoppers dressing room...
Rock Star Richard Royal and Gorgeous Garret Rogers are watching Ritter talk to Justin Cole on a small TV.
Gorgeous Garret Rogers shakes his head. "This is complete and utter bullshit! Come on!" Rogers stands up and head for the door.
"Where are you going?" asks Royal.
"To do some damage control..." Responds Rogers.
>>> A short time latter, in the CIA arena... <<<
A loud explosion followed by the song "Crush 'EM" by Megadeth signals the arrival of the Showstoppers! The words "Showstoppers" flash across the CIA big screen. Clips are shown of Gorgeous Garret Rogers giving Viper a Gorgeous Gutbuster. Another clip shows Rock Star Richard Royal giving The X a superkick. Yet another clip shows them giving Prime Offender a double team move through a table.
? ? ? ? ? ?
"Heads we win, tails you lose
Outta our way we're coming through
Roll the dice, don't think twice and we crush, crush 'em
Now we lay you down to rest
you'll never be more than second best
Step aside, you're in for a ride and we crush, crush 'em!"
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Rogers rolls under the bottom rope, Royal bounces over the top rope. Royal bounces around the ring, as Rogers saunters over to a corner and gets a mic from a ring girl. Rogers wastes no time, and immediately addresses the crowd.
"You know something? The showstoppers have suffered for a long, long time. Suffered in silence. But the suffering and the silence both end right here, and right now. The showstoppers have been denied and deprived of what is rightfully ours for a very long time, and it ends now. Or problem begins and ends with one man. Al Ritter. You see, when he started up ICW almost a year ago, me and Royal jumped right on board. We were the first tag team, the best tag team, and in my opinion, the only tag team in ICW. Tell em what I mean, oh rocking one."
Rogers hands the mic to Royal. "It's like this," begins Royal. "It's like a huge weight has been lifted off the shoulders of the Showstoppers. We are the only two people in Ritter's old league that were a tag team, and stayed a tag team. Everyone else was either two singles stars that got thrown together, and no team really ever lasted more than a month at a time. But we were a tag team from the start to the finish. We spent seven months of our career working for Ritter, and how did he repay us? He denied us shots at the titles several times. He gave us terrible storylines. I mean come on. The road trip? Dark Dreams? And perhaps the worst of all, teaming with Prime Offender and then having to make him and Hydra look good in the ring."
Rogers takes the mic back from Royal. "That's 100% correct R3. Ritter held us back. We could have been the greatest, most dominate, most marketable tag team ever. But for some reason we were held back. And now we find ourselves in a new place, but the same old song and dance. The Showstoppers have no belts... and it's because of Ritter. But this time it's different. This time there is something we can do about it. Ritter, you don't run the show. Your not the boss, your just another cash cow for the people running the show. And when the time comes, when you and your pal "The X" get in the ring with us? A years worth of built up frustration, disappointment and rage is going to CRUSH YOU!"
Gorgeous Garret Rogers throws the mic down and the Showstoppers leave the ring.
Title: Ritter says "hi" to many... (2many?)
Posted By: Al Ritter
Al The Mad Dog Ritter is walking around backstage when he bumps into Mad Dog Briskout! Holy crap, says Briskout. It really WAS you. I saw you on the TV and thought I must have fallen asleep or been on drugs or it was a re-run.. but its true. Youre here! How have you been?
Ritter shakes Mad Dogs (Briskouts) hand. Not bad, doing good. How about you? You are you doing? I hear you are in charge of a show now!
Yeah! Says Briskout. I get the Friday show. Cool huh? You wanna hear what Ive got planed?
I saw the itinerary in the back. Responds Ritter. What is the deal with Prime Offender? Is he in or out or what? And what if he doesnt pick a partner?
Briskout thinks for a minute. Im not sure if hes in or not at this point. And if he doesnt pick a partner then I guess Ill have to name a partner for Prime Offender... It wouldnt be fair to have a handicap match.
You know what? Asks Ritter. If you have to pick a partner, you know who you should pick?
No. Who? Asks Briskout.
Ritter whispers into Briskouts ear. Briskout laughs. That was who I would pick anyway!
Sweet! Says Ritter. Great minds think alike! Man, this is going to be so cool with you booking the Friday show! I catch you later Mad Dog!
Right back at you Mad Dog! Responds Briskout.
Ritter walks down the hallway a little more.
Hey! Calls a familiar voice from behind Ritter. Tear is walking up to him.
Hey! Ritter! Is that REALLY you?!?
Hell yes its me! says Ritter. Who else would I be?
Tear shrugs. Who knows. Ive heard all kinds of things. I even heard you were dead.
Ritter stands in shock. Im... dead? Why didnt anyone tell me? That seems like something I should know! Anyways, The X called me and asked me to come down here... I couldnt understand what he was saying... but I think he said a lady from CWA was running a show too... would that be you?
Why, yes it would! Says Tear. Im the Tuesday girl! Oh by the way... Deathkiss says hi.
Oh! No kidding? Tell her hi. And tell her, now that I dont run any shows... Ive got more free time on my hands... wink wink! Ritter flexes. Well, Ive got to go catch a shower and get out of here. Ill talk to you later.
Ritter walks down the hall and into the locker room. Ritter stops short and looks across the room. Wolf and Jeebus are sitting on a bench with a cloud of smoke over there heads. Wolfs eyes bug out of his head. DAMN JEEBUS! Yells Wolf. This is some good weed! Im seeing Ritters now!
Hey, you guys should >cough cough< open a window or turn on a fan. says Ritter. Your going to suffocate in smoke...
Ritter leaves in search of a non smoking shower.
Wolf gets up to open a window.
What are you doing? asks Jeebus.
Ritter said... starts Wolf.
Ritter didnt say anything idiot. Ritter is dead. I chopped him up and locked him in my basement. Says Jeebus.
Oh yeah... Says Wolf. That was COOL! But... what if that WAS Ritter? If that was Ritter who is in your basement?!?
Jeebus takes a drag off the joint. I dont know...
DUN DUN DUN!
Title: TGB and Body Breaker
Posted By: The Iceman
since you 2 guys both want to get cooled down by the iceman,how about a 3-way match.Me,Body Breaker and TGB.what about it boys??
Title: Its all about to happen
Posted By: The Great Buddah
TGB's manager comes out and the crowd start chanting TGB TGB TGB TGB....
cassandra:soon people soon The Great Buddah has excepted the challenge...
(she walks off)
tbc:anyone
Title: Killer from Finland has camed
Posted By: Sexyking
* Sexyking walks to ring and takes mic*
Sexyking: Sexyking is here!!!!
(fans goes crazy)
Sexyking: Is here anyone who can challengeg me. I just camed to this league and I want match against anyone.
For title or without !
* Some thin wrestler attacks*
*Sexyking punches him to face and Sexy drops him*
Sexyking: If he WAS you best wrestler, so Im very dissapointed.
Sexyking: That was only beginnenig. If you are match against me. You should scare.
*Sexyking walks to the backstage*
Title: Title: Ritters Chocolate?
Posted By: Al Ritter
Ritter is driving around town.
Boy, I sure could use something to eat...
Ritter pulls into a grocery store and gets out.
Maybe Ill pick up a frozen pizza or something...
Ritter gets a shopping cart and starts looking up and down the aisles for something to catch his eye.
Hello? What the hell is this!?!
Ritter is in the international food aisle. Sitting there on a shelf is, what looks to be, a chocolate bar. Ritter picks up the bar and inspects it.
Ritter Sport? Plain Chocolate? The Handy Chocolate Square? How come I was not informed of this!
Ritter looks on the back label of the chocolate.
Alfred Ritter
GmbH & Co. KG
D-71108 Waldenbush
Deutschland
Germany/Allemagne
http://www.ritter-sport.de
Ritters eyes bug out of his head.
ALFRED Ritter?!? There is some guy, named AL RITTER in GERMANY getting rich off MY good name, buy selling RITTER CHOCOLATE BARS!! This will no do. This will no do at all... Hey, what is even in this thing? Sugar. Chocolate liquor... what the hell is Chocolate liquor?!? Cocoa butter, lecithin - an emulsifier... what? What the hell is and emulsifier? Vanillin? You mean vanilla? Or is it some supper powered criminal? VANILLIN IS DESTROYING THE CITY! YOU HAVE TO STOP THE FIENDISH VANILLIN FOR US, SUPERMAN!
The X comes around the corner.
The X thought that was you yelling. Says The X. Whats your problem? Under medicated again?
Ritter gives The X a dirty look. What are YOU doing here?
Damn man, The X is just shopping. Its a free country. You know youve got a lot of unhealthy rage. Maybe some blunts would calm your happy ass down.
OK, first off, Starts Ritter, I dont smoke that crap. Second off all... STOP REFERRING TO YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON! Its stupid!!!
The X raises an eyebrow. The X doesn't like it when people yell at The X. When people yell at The X, it makes The X angry. You wouldnt like The X when hes angry... The X just wants to be left alone... why cant people leave The X alone? Puny humans! The X SMASH!
The X punches a display of Pepsi, causing the stack of soda cans to collapse and spill all over the floor.
THE X SMASH!
Ritter puts the chocolate back on the shelf. You want a piece of me X? Come on! Its go time!
[TO BE CONTINUED]
Title: Someone gets Crushed.
Posted By: Rock-Star Richard Royal
The Grocery Store, where The X and Ritter are about to fight.
The X is screaming and breaking stuff. THE X SMASH!
Ritter strikes a fighting pose. You want a piece of me X? Come on! Its go time!
The X is about to leap at Ritter, when The X gets hit from behind with a double ax handle blow, courtesy of Rock Star Richard Royal! Before Ritter can make a move, Gorgeous Garret Rogers grabs Ritter from behind and bulldogs him onto the floor. Rogers picks up Ritter and gives him an overhead belly to belly suplex into the juice aisle. Ritter hits the shelves and falls down onto his head. Several CANS of V-8 and Juicy Juice fall off the shelves and bury Ritter.
The X is just getting to his feet, when Rock Star Richard Royal knocks him back down to the floor with a devastating Royal Flush super kick to the teeth!
Whooo! screams Richard Royal. Did you fell that boy? Did you? Thats a REAL superkick!
Gorgeous Garret Rogers and Rock Star Richard Royal are standing over the bodies of Ritter and The X.
Is that all you got? Asks Garret Rogers. When we get in the ring for those belts you better bring more than that. Id like to feel like I earned the belts. One sided victories aren't very fun.
The X is face down in a pool of blood. He starts moving. He manages to grab Rock Star Richard Royal by the ankle. Royal looks down. What the...? Dont you know when to give up? Rock Star stomps on The Xs head. The X stops moving. Suddenly sirens are heard in the background.
Well, says Rogers, taking a huge bite out of a Ritter Chocolate Bar, We hate to eat and run, but thats our cue to go. See you in the ring boys.
Dont forget the belts... Adds Royal, stepping on The X as he leaves.
Title: WOLF/ JEEBUS
Posted By: Jeebus
:::As the camera pans into Jeebuses Dressing room they walk in on Jeebus having an argument with Wolf, Jeebus is yelling at Wolf and spitting as he does so, as Wolf waits for his turn and then attacks with his own Pointing Finger Campaign:::
Wolf: YOU FAT FUCK!!!! :::Jeebus eyes bugg out:::
Jeebus: What did you just call me? :::Jeebus does the side to side head sway and snaps his fingers::: BITCH you best recognize I aint gonna take this shit BITCH.
Wolf: OH SHUT UP YOU FAT BITCH. I'll rape you with a smoking hookah you shitfaced assmunch.
Jeebus: WHA WHAT WHAT???:::jeebus and wolf are now nose to nose Yelling into eachothers face:::
Wolf:: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....
Jeebus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....
Wolf:::takes a breath::: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Jeebus:::blows his nose takes a shot of rum tokes on a joint and then::: Thats it you shit lick:::Jeebus drives his elbow into Wolfs face and wolf falls backwards into his chair::: Now Stay down. Where ya belong ya pup!!!
Wolf::Whipes away the blood from his nose and Jumps up and drives Jeebus into the wall as Jeebus knees Wolf in the ribs and Wolf almost lets go but just holds on and delivers and punishing groin knee sending Jeebus down on the ground in a heep:::
Wolf:::whipes the sweat from his forehead as he steps back from the wheezing and foaming at the mouth Jeebus::: Save the Drama for your Momma.::Wolf pushes past the camera man and leaves the room pissed:::
::The Camera pans back to Jeebus who is still hardlly concious, before fading out to a Ritter Bar commercial:::
Title: The Phat is back
Posted By: Fat Man
The camera is showing a limo pull up outside the arena. the limo stops. a door opens. fat man gets out! sort of. fat man attempts to get out, but he gets stuck. the fans cheer when they see fat man has arrived! after about a minute of fat man attempting to get out of the limo with no luck the fans start to laouf at fat man. finally, four security guards come up and try to pull fat man out of the limo. two guards grab one arm and two guards grab the other arm. they start to pull on fat man.
guard one: boy, he really is fat!
guard two: no way man, he is phat!
guard three: yeah dumb ass, do you not know anything?
guard four: we are pulling the limo...
fat man: OH MY GOD!!! THE PAIN, THE PURE EXQUISITE PAIN TO END ALL PAINS! YOU ARE GOING TO RIP MY GOD #(*^%#^$ ARMS OFF MY GOD #O)(@&*@ BODY!!! SOMEONE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP ME!!!!!!!!
[Commercial Break]
Title: eM pleH
Posted By: Fat Man
The show is back from a commercial break. fat man is still stuck in the limo. one of the security guards is on top of the limo with the jaws of life! they couldnt pull fat man out of the limo, so they will cut the limo off of fat man!
guard one: i dont understand it. how did you get IN the limo?
guard two: yeah. how did you get in the limo?
guard four: he said that already.
guard three: yeah. dumb ass.
fat man: well, on the way here i had the driver stop in at a burger king. i had twenty double cheese burgers, fourty cheese burgers, ten whoppers, twenty double whopers, thirty large fries, five chocolate shakes, and a diet coke.
guard two: (under his breath) by all that is holey!
guard three makes a cross motion across his chest and says a hail marry.
guard four goes behind a car and pukes just thinking about all that food.
guard one: (sniff sniff) hey, what is that smell?
fat man: I told them NO onions, but they put onions on there anyway.
guard three: saints preserve us!
suddenly a loud fart sound is heard. its causes the car behind fat man to fall apart. guard one faints and falls off the top of the limo. seconds latter, the other three guards also faint.
fat man: great. now how am i going to get out?
fat man struggles for a while, and then breaks part of the limo that guard one chopped up with the jaws of life. fat man starts walking toward the arena whit a limo door around his neck.
Title: Team Up
Posted By: Fat Man
fat man is walking backstage with a limo door around his neck. he walks up to phantasmo Jr.
fat man: hey listen kid, your father was a cool guy. me and ryu and el phantasmo and xavier were one hell of a team. then xaver left. then el phantasmo left. then icw shut down. but now everything old is new again. let me be the first to shake your hand kid. let me be the first to say welcome to the big show kid. and yes, i would love to team up with you and im sure ryu will team up with us too whenever he gets here.
phantsmo says something in very broken english. it seems like thank you fat man. phantasmo runs off like an excited kid.
fat man: yep. his father was a great guy. that kid is going to go places around here. and as soon as ryu comes back me and him are going to be the tag team champions of the world.
suddenly another fart noise is heard. there are several people in the hallway behind fat man. one by one they all fall down.
fat man: yep. me and ryu and the kid are going places around here.
Title: Rezner shoots on... EVERYONE.
Posted By: Clint Rezner
Sometimes I think I should just give up. If I never take a risk, Ill never have to worry about making a mistake. Failing. Being hurt. Theres safety in defeat. Luxury in self-pity. Is that what I really want?
The camera pans down until Clint Rezners ominous face fills the screen.
Hell no thats not what I want. I experimented with taking the no risk approach once, and what did that get me? Jack ditty squat, thats what. You see, back one April first I joined this place back when it was under different ownership. Fitting that my first day on the job was on that date, because I ended up playing the fool many, many times.
You see, back then I was very green. I didnt know anything about the business or how it worked, or what was expected of me. I showed up, emulated what the other wrestlers were doing, and gained experience. I bided my time waiting for the time I knew enough of the ins and outs to break out and do something original. Something ground breaking. To do something that would get me noticed.
As time went on, I got better and better at what I was doing. The front office took notice. The fans knew it too. I had all kinds of other wrestling promotions knocking on my door. Come work for us they said. We saw what you can do. We want you to join our team. And like an idiot I turned them down. I told them that this place was were I got my start, and that I would stay loyal to the end. And what did that do for me? Nothing.
The front office couldnt ignore me anymore. They knew I was could, and couldnt hold me back anymore. But all those assholes wanted to do was keep their places safe. They were threatened by me. They gave me just enough to keep me coming back, but lied to me and held me back the whole time. Its something like this.
Al Ritter came up to me. He said, Hey Clint. King of Extreme 2002. You are going to win, youll be the number one contender. Well give you the Canadian Title, well take you here, put you there, and you will end up with the world title.
Clint starts to look very pissed just thinking about it. Well, none of that bullshit ever happened, did it?!? I went up to Al Ritter and said hey man, Ive got this great idea. How about me and Shotgun, we team up and become the greatest tag team to come down wrestling's pike? And you know what he said?
Sorry man, we want Shotgun and Ripstar to a tag team. We want to team up with El Fifo the gay wonder.
Clint shakes his head. So I went up to The Teacher. I said hey Teacher. How about this? Dark Dreams are coming in, Im goth and dark. How about I join Dark Dreams? You know what the teacher told me?
Sorry man, thats not for you, thats for someone else. We want Viper and Prime Offender in Dark Dreams. You and El Fifo get to go and put them over.
Clint smirks. I had to put over Viper, the lazyest peice of shit I ever did see in the ring. I had to put over Prime Offender, and that wasnt SO bad, but I had been there for at least twice as long as Prime Offender and watched him shoot to the top half as fast as I did. It made me sick.
After that, I went up to the X. I said hey X. I won King of Extreme. I get a World Title shot. You cant put it off forever. You know what the X said?
Wolf has the World title. We want him to keep the World Title. Go out there, give him a good thirty minuets, let the people see what he can do. People dont accept him as a World Champion. We need you to give him a good match an put him over.
Clint sighs. That was the way it was the hole time I worked there. I swore I would never work here again. But Mad Dog Briskout, maybe he sold his car, maybe he mortgaged his house, maybe he won the lotto. But somehow, someway he came up with the right figure to get me on board for this. I came up here on the first day and saw the same old CRAP I always do. And Ill call it crap because thats just what it is.
You got Body Breaker running around here like a damn moron talking about breaking up on and around things. You got a big fat ass slob farting on people. You got some guy from south of the border you cant even speak so you can understand a damn word that comes out of his mouth, and Im talking about Phantsmo, not Street Boy. You got Iceman, who says hes the best damn wrestler going today. Well he damn sure better be because he cant cut a promo worth shit!
I look around this place, its not a wrestling promotion. Its a good damn freak show. You got wanna bes, has beens, never wases, freaks, and outcasts. It seems like shoot interviews are all the rage right now in CIA so I thought I get some issues off my chest. If I offended X or Ritter I really dont give a damn. They cant totally hold me back anymore. The way I hear, there are a few more people making matches and making the hard decisions. The sky is the limit for Clint Rezner. All I have to do take that first step and all the world will become my stage...
Title: The Crime Fighting Duo *Comedy*
Posted By: Wolf
[The theme tune to superman plays as the camera opens to a shot of wolf staring at Jeebus picture from his fat days. He stares and blinks for a second before turning around and burping at the camera]
*Wolf* "Pardon me!!"
[The door swings open and a small man about 5,2 runs in and taps wolf on the shoulder. Wolf cracks a cheesy pose and stiffly turns his neck to gaze at the man]
*Wolf* "Why if it isn't...."
[wolf trails off]
*Wolf* "Who in the name of bill clintons hair are you?!"
[The man smiles and points at his t-shirt..Which reads...Follow me to crime scene]
*Wolf* "Hmmmmm...Well i dont usually follow weird people with no name to crime scenes. But i got one of those hunches...Oh wait no thats gas (BURPS)"
[Wolf points to the door]
*Wolf* "To the Wolfy Mobile..."
[The man shakes his head]
*Man* "Dont you mean you Ford Fiesta.."
[Wolf grins in embarresment]
*Wolf* "Thats what I meant"
[Wolf and the man run out of the room in hysterics..Wolf clambers back. He forgot his rash cream]
::::::::Commercial::::::::::
[The show kicks back off with wolf ans the man standing in a doe nut shops staring over a smased do nut container]
*Wolf* "It appears..that someone has broken this container onto some kind of floor."
[The man shakes his head and..gets out his notepad..]
*Man* (under his breath) "Note to self. Teach dumb ass wrestlers some intelligence"
[Wolf overhears him]
*Wolf* "What as that. you fat barrel of monkey spunk?"
*Man* "Erm I said, Im teachin the class that restin is good for your intelligence!"
[Wolf nods and goes back to investigating the crime scene]
*Wolf* "hey wait a minute theres a cigarette butt here.."
[Wolf picks up the butt and examines it closely. not noticing the toilet paper trailing off his shoe]
*Wolf* "Aha!..It appears to be some kind of cigarette butt"
*Man* "Actually sir its a spliff butt..You see..and theres only person who can roll spliffs with the cardboard from a klondike bar box"
[Wolf and the man look at each other. music plays: (DUN DUN DUN)..]
*ALL* "JEEBUS!"
[Camera Fades]
Title: Jeebus gets arrested.(long and boring)
Posted By: Jeebus
:::Jeebus is sitting in his room hands crossed on his chest ice pack on his crotch, all of a sudden Jeebus hears a vibration Jeebus turns a looks to the door, Jeebus slowlly stands up and walks to the door while clenching his teeth in pain, Jeebus opens the door and looks both ways there is nothing, Jeebus shrugs and is about to go back inside, when he notices a some sord of large mass slowlly moving down the hall, Jeebus squints his beaty little eyes:::
Jeebus::mutters under his breath::: It Couldn't be. could it?
::several minutes later the building is rattling and Fat Man is only 10 feet away from Jeebus who would be jumping up and down in joy if not for his.....problem, Jeebus however has had time to call The X who has shown up with a camera and has set it up in the hallway and Jeebus has tried on several different costumes, and finally settled on the Pimped out Mobster from the 70's with the Red Jumpsuit type of thing, As Jeebus waits for Fat Man who is huffing and puffing as he finally reaches Jeebus:::
Jeebus: Hi I'm a big fan can I take a picture with you?
Fat Man: HUH?
Jeebus: Its a go:::Jeebus Leans on Fat man as The X takes several Pictures of Jeebus next to him, Fat Man is confused but hes got to keep goin, he's heard there is a wheelchair accesible bathroom in this wing of the arena, and so fat man is gone:::
The X: Wow Hes Phater than ever.::looks on in amazment:::
Jeebus: Isnt it glorious?
The X:::shrugs:::
::Jeebus is about to go back into his room and rest when Wolf with two police officers and a Little Person wearing a Wolf is a Tool tshirt, Jeebus smirks at the shirt then looks up at Wolf who is overlly excited:::
Jeebus: May I help you?::raising one eyebrow::
Wolf: You my friend are going to jail.
Officer1: Alright now that were here would you please share this incredible evidence with us sir.
Wolf: Certainlly officer:::as Wolf pulls from his pocket a Spliff rolled from a klondike wrapper and hands it to officer 1:: I found that near a defunct donut box.
Officer2::Rolls his eyes:: What is that supposed to be?
Wolf::upset:: what do you mean its a Splif and its rolled from a Klondike Bar wrapper, I believe all the evidence is clear:::Wolf points at Jeebus with his finger:: YOU MY FRIEND ARE GONNA ROT IN JAIL!!!::Jeebus scratches his head and then his ass:::
Officer1: Sir::sniffing the spliff:: This is just a wrapper I don't smell any marijuana on it and even if I did you handled it with your bare hands so the only fingerprints on it would be yours.
Wolf: WHAT??? Are you telling me this Ice Cream fondling floozy ::jabbing his finger into Jeebuses chest:: This Grass puffing hippie is gonna get away with THIS????
Officer1: Sir stop jabbing Mr.Jeebus.
Jeebus: Oh shit since your tail is between your legs now, let me get you your shit since your no longer welcome here.
Wolf: OH No uhh thats okay I'll come back later::Jeebus is already getting it:::
Jeebus: No No Lets end this now, I don't want to see your face anymore, unless its in the ring or beaten bloody by me.:::Jeebus walks back to the door and tosses Wolf his duffle bag so hard that wolf drops it and out pops a 2 ounce bag of Weed, As wolf freaks, The two officers lean down and pick up the pot and the bag both of which bear this message on them:::
Officer1:Wolf's Pot Hands oFF!!!!::he turns to Wolf who is sweating::
::Jeebus is just grinning:::
Officer2: Sir would you like to explain this?::the little person has ran off already:::
::wolf all of a sudden tries to run he doesent even get 2 feet he gets taken down by the two cops who have him pinned to the ground his arms twisted behind his back head pinned to the ground with the knee of officer2, and Jeebus is just Laughing and taking pictures as Wolfs pants have partially fallen off and his crack is showing:::
Jeebus:::while laffin::: I'm just taking pictures to make sure there is no police abuse ::Jeebus snaps away and gets some good shots of Wolf in pain, as WOlf gets cuffed dragged to his feet and dragged away to a police cruiser:::
Jeebus::returns to his room and sits back and watches the footage that was just taped as it is played back but the profanities Wolf was speewing while he was handcuffed have been already edited out and Jeebus screams them to make his watching experience extra fullfilling:::
Title: It was all a dream *JEEBUS*
Posted By: Wolf
[Wolf wakes up outside his locker room. he is slumped up against the walla with a jack daniels bottle in one hand and a half burnt joint in the other hand. His hair is dripping with come obscure liquid. Wolf shakes his head and realises its toilet water. He grimaces in disgust and clambers to his feet still holding the bottle. he discards it but it smashes loudly on the floor. jeebus runs out of his locker room and notices the state of wolf]
*Wolf* "It's all your fault!"
[jeebus smirks and wonders what wolf is on about. He pulls out a bottle of sleepin pills..he rattles them in wolf's face. Wolf looks at jeebus and raises his eyebrow]
*Jeebus* "I think you may have had too many of these...I lost count of how many bars we went too. Oh and that chick you boffed on doesn't wanna sue.."
[Wolf smirks]
*Wolf* "I've had one funky dream. I dreamnt I got arrested and that we got into a fight!"
[Jeebus laughs himself silly and pulls out a Bail sheet]
*Jeebus* "Oh you got arrested alright. And we kicked each others ass. But I thought I'd come and bail ya out."
*Wolf* "HUH!"
[Jeebus then pulls out a bill]
*Jeebus* "You owe me 2,000 dollars and your court hearing is tuesday."
[Wolf's face turns geen and he falls down onto his ass]
*Wolf* "I dont feel so good!"
[Jeebus pulls out yet another piece of paper and smiles]
*Jeebus* "Maybe I better tell you the other surprise"
[Wolf looks up at Jeebus. and has a bermused look on his face]
*Jeebus* "You signed over power of attorney of me..Ha ha ha..Guess who's gonna be defending ya on tuesday"
[Wolf puts his head in his hands and lets out a loud groan]
*Jeebus* "Go on guess!"
[Wolf points at jeebus nervously]
*Wolf* "errr y-y-YOU!"
[Jeebus nods and walks off chuckling]
[camera Fades]
Title: Title: Its all your fault!!!
Posted By: Al Ritter
Ritter and The X are in an ambulance after being attacked by Gorgeous Garret Rogers and Rock Star Richard Royal. Ritter has several cuts and bumps all over his head and an IV in his arm. The X has a black eye that is swollen shut, blood all over his mouth, and someone putting stitches in his head.
Ritter glares at The X. This is all your fault.
The gives Ritter a dirty look. Wha the fut are yoo talling abou? Says The X, blood pouring out of his mouth.
It was a set up, wasnt it? Im shopping, you just HAPPEN to be there, and then the Showstoppers just HAPPEN to be there TOO? I bet you tree followed me. Yeah, this WHOLE thing was a set up, wasnt it? You call me up out of nowhere, after spending a year of trying to put me out of wrestling for good, ask me to be your partner. And then the Showstoppers start shit with us. Then the whole grocery store incident happened. Ill give you credit. You really are a natural born mastermind. But Im on to you now.
The Xs eyes widen in surprise and anger. Yoo tink I set yoo up? Fut yoo Rier. The X spits a huge gob of blood on Ritter. Fuck you Ritter! Yells the X, who is getting more and more agitated. You think I set you up? It was YOU who was trying to end MY wrestling career! Its the same thing with me as the Showstoppers, you never gave me a chance. How many belts did I have in ANY league Ive EVER been in? ZPL, DBL, KWA, EWF? How many? Five? Ten? Twenty? And how many were TAG TEAM titles, with you? Half? More? How many did I have in YOUR ICW? Two. Because you never gave me the CHANCE to show what I could do. You made me fight Jeff Davis, you made me fight Medusa, you made me fight El Fifo the god damn GAY WONDER! You tried to bury my career out of jealousy and spite! You were jealous that the only time you EVER had a title in the last five years, it was a tag team belt with ME! You were jealous that I won the ZPL World title. You were jealous that I won every title in the KWA. And you know what? When I got these tag team belts you know what the first thing to cross my mind was? Huh? DO YOU?
Ritter glares at The X and doesnt answer.
The first thing that crossed my mind, continued The X, Was gee. I wonder what Ritter is doing. We sure had some fun times when he had tag titles before. I didnt care that you tried to bury my career. I thought we could go back to the good old days. The X and Ritter taking down everyone that got in our way, being the best tag team around and having a good time. And this is the thanks I get? You blame THIS (the X points at his head that is getting stitched up) on ME?!? Fuck you Ritter! Fuck you and your paranoid delusional ass! Im missing teeth, I cant see out of my left eye, and Ive got a guy sewing my head back together and you blame it on ME?
Ritter smirks. Well, yeah. You said it yourself. You said you were like the Showstoppers. You said almost word for word what they said about being held back by me. About how Im jealous of you guys. If anything, Im MORE convinced the three of you are working together.
The X shakes his head. I cant believe you Ritter. I cant fucking believe you. I thought you would be the perfect tag team partner, and now Im stuck with you. I swear, if I lose the tag team belts because of you...
What are you going to do? Asks Ritter. You cant beat me. Youve never been able to beat me. I ALWAYS come out ahead. You thi...
Suddenly The X pushes away the guy stitching up his head and leaps at Ritter, grabbing him by the throat and choking him. Comically, it resembles Homer choking out Bart Simpson. Ritter pokes The X in his GOOD eye, and pushes him away. The X shakes it off and tackles Ritter to the floor, and starts punching him in the head. The ambulance driver turns his head around get a look in the back of the ambulance.
What the hell is going on back there? He demands.
Ritter is on the ground, bleeding profusely. The two medical staff in the back are trying to hold The X back, but The X is trashing and kicking trying to get back over to Ritter so he can beat the life out of him.
Just drive! Responds one of the staff members. I shot this one (referring to the X) full of enough morphine to knock out a rhino, but hes not slowing down! Get us to Mercy Medical A.S.A.P!
The X starts to feel the effects of the morphine. He manages to gather enough strength to spit on last gob of blood in Ritters direction before his whole world goes white.
Title: Gettting Revenge (everyone who was in the tag team
Posted By: Street Boy
(Camera shows Slash and Street Boy in the locker room throwing items and breaking other items)
Street Boy- What are we going to do?
Gary- I say order pizza
Street Boy- Not for dinner although that is a good idea, about the match?
Slash- We could go complain
Street Boy- That wont work
Slash- We could go on a rampage and kick everyones asses in our way
Street Boy- We'll call that plan b.
Gary- Is vegetarion pizza ok?
Slash- No pepporoni and bacon, we neeed our strength.
Gary- Ok
Street Boy- I say we get in our golfs carts and run down R3 and Ugly Garret whatever comes next.
Slash- Great idea.
Street Boy- We will run over anyone thats in our way. So hear is the official warning if your a tag team don't leabe your living room becasue when you do Slash and Street Boy will be on your asses like fat man on a smartie.
Title: Wolf on Trial Day 1
Posted By: Jeebus
:::Justin and Kelly are dressed all proper like as they report from just outside the doors to the courtroom where in a just a few minutes Wolf's court hearing is about to begin:::
Justin: And here come the defense lawyer now.:::As Jeebus wearing a lime green 70's car salesman suit with a mistery stain on the thigh, walks up to Justin and Kelly:::
Kelly::smiling:: That's a nice suit.
Jeebus: Thank you.
Justin: So how do you think today is gonna go?
Jeebus: Well honestlly I believe we will clear Wolf's good name and Tuesday Wolf will be ready to get his ass beat by me.
Kelly: What is your strategy gonna be for today?
Jeebus: I plan to come in low and then with a swift kick to the throat dissable the prosecutor rendering him unable to object to anything I might have to say.
Kelly::bit concerned:: thats just a figure of speech right?
Jeebus::shifting his eyes from side to side:: oh yeah yeah sure figure yeah speech okay yup heh. heh. OOps look at the time gots to go get ready.:::as jeebus pushes past Kelly and Justin and walks into the court room.
Justin: Well there you have it Jeebus confident as ever of a swift kick to the throat victory.
Kelly: I don't remmeber Jeebus having a law license? Or even a driverslicense.
:::Switch over to minutes later in the courtroom Wolf has just been brought in he is in an Orange jumpsuit, as Jeebus has layed out his three napkins with legal information on them, as wolf stares on in horror:::
:::to the left of them is the Prosecutor, a short man squirlly balding wearing glasses far too low on his nose kind of man, but he still manages to rock out with a 2 inch pony tail:::
:::Kelly and Justin are sitting in the back row and quitlly calling the action:::
Justin: As you can see currentlly, what the presecutor lacks in stature and hair he makes up in profesionalism, ladies and gentlemen he has a briefcase.
Kelly: Jeebus is now taunting the prosecutor by running his fingers through his lush long full head of hair and licking his lips while doing so.
Justin: oh and here comes the judge.
The Court Officer: ALL RISE:::as everyone stands up::: THE HONORABLE JUDGE WANG PRESIDING, ::as a small man in a large black robe climbs up to his throne:::
The Court Officer: YOU MAY BE SEATED.:::Judge Wang Slams his Gavel down on the table with authority:::
Justin: The Judge looks very similar to Judge Ito::justin squints his eyes:::
Kelly: Everyone looks like Judge Ito to you, even OJ.
Judge Wang: This is case number 420 The State versus Wolf, will the defendant please rise.::Wolf and Jeebus rises:: What is your plea?
Jeebus: Pot is good pot is great everyone should smoke pot today.
Judge Wang: WHAT?
Jeebus: I mean Guilty by reason of Sanity. :::Wolf is confused:: I mean wait wait hold on no I mean Not Guilty by reason of Sanity yup that's the one,:::as Jeebus checks his first napkin:::
Judge Wang: Fine. Then we shall proceed, I have a golf game at 3 and I will not miss it becouse of this so hop to it. Prosecution may call its first witness.
Prosecutor::In a squirlly voice:: I would first like to call Officer Miller to the stand. :::as the court audience gasps Officer miller lumbers to the chair:::
:::Officer miller gets sworn in as the Prosecutor paces back and forth:::
Prosecutor: Describe the events leading up to the arrest of Mr. Wolf!
Officer Miller: Well me and Bob or as I like to call him Mike we were eating donuts in the lounge when This character named Mr. Wolf who came up to us and began raving about ice cream bars and then he started raving about someone he would only refer to as Jesus. I figured he was talking about someone whos name was HeyZeus but he would not stop to explain him self but just insisted that me and Mike or as I like to call him Bob come with him. Whence we finally came upon the room the wrestler named Jeebus was standing in the door infact thats him right there::officer miller points to Jeebus who smiles and nods:: Anyways, and then after Wolf was done yelling we explained to him in a calm fashion that we couldn't take Mr. Jeebus to jail, at this point Mr. Jeebus gave back Mr.Wolf his duffle bag which fell on the floor revealing a 2 ounce bag of pot.
Prosecutor: What was written on the bag of pott?
Officer Miller: Wolf's pott hands off I believe it said.
Prosecutor: Thank you officer Miller::he with a smug grin turns to Jeebus and says:: Your witness ::Jeebus smiles and nods then gets up and napkin in hand, walks up to officer miller::
Justin: That evidence was very damaging, lets see what Jeebus has instore.
Jeebus::as he paces back and forth:: This is my first court trial where I am not the defendant. So please take it easy on me ::jeebus smiles at officer miller, who smiles back:: Officer Miller, are you gay?::the whole room gasps::
Prosecutor: Objection Relevance your honour?
Judge Wang: Mr. Jeebus is there somehwere your going with this?
Jeebus: Maybe your gay with a name like WANG I mean what are you some sort of fruit cake your just here to discriminate against us straight people arent you??? ::The Judge is very confused::: I mean i havent seen anybody in this courtroom that dosent look atleast mostlly gay and your bi far the gayest of them all I bet your not even wearing anything under that robe and you were jacking off while looking at my fine ass!!!!!
Judge Wang::slams down his Gavel::: THATS IT!!! I will hold you in contempt of court if you do not desist from this line of accusations, get back to questioning the witness or your gonna spend the night in jail.
Jeebus: May I get a Sidebar?
Judge Wang: Fine :::Prosecutor and Jeebus both walk up to Judge Wang.
Prosecutor: What is goin on?
Jeebus: Heres the deal, you know he had the pot I know he had the pot everyone knows he had the pot the whole event was cought on video for fucks sake, but you know what Your gonan give him community service and thats it.
Judge Wang: I'm gonna hold you in contempt of court if your gonna assumer your gonan tell me what I'm gonna do!
Jeebus: Listen you shit, think back to a place called Kalamazoo michigan and a bar named Proud Pederast Associates. It was a short lived bar due to the contrevercial nature and progressive nature of the place. Guess what fucker you were there. :::The Judge is sweating cold::: Yeah fucker thats right I have pictures of you and a little dissabled boy in the private lounge, yeah that wasnt just a mirror my friend there was a camera there and you now fuck with me and don't give me what I want and I go public and your job your life will all go bye bye. So choose now or tomorow you will be the talk of the town. ::The Judge leans back::
Prosecutor: Your kidding me right>?
Jeebus::turns his head to the prosecutor:: Havent I seen you somehwere before?
Prosecutor: What? Where what?
Jeebus: Yeah now I remmeber your that little fucker that likes strippers, I'v seen you at my bar the Split Wet Beaver!, Ring a bell sucko?
Prosecutor: It's not a crime!!!
Jeebus: Nope well except you're married and you have two kids I wonder what timmy and Greta would think of theyr daddie objectifying women. Not to mention even your wife!!
Judge Wang: ok ok but I want the tape.
Jeebus: Go ahead and want it, You'll get it after you make the rulling offical.
Judge Wang::sweating cold, Jeebus with a smile hands him his tissue, and then walks back to his table and sits down next to wolf Prosecutor went back to his desk too freaked out:::
Wolf: What'd going on?
Jeebus: The judge admitted to me he was gay.
Wolf: uhm does that help me?
Jeebus: Dude I'v seen the Practice enough to know what tha hell I'm doing, trust me dude.
:::in the back::
Justin: The Judge seems to be very concerned after that sidebar.
Kelly: Jeebus must of presented a strong case the Judge almost seems constapated.
Justin: looks like the Judge is ready to speak Lets listen.
Judge Wang: After some deliberation I have come to the conclusion that my golf game cannot wait thus I'm sentencing Mr. Wolf to 50 hours community service. And if there is no opposition from either bench ::Jeebus just smiles, as Wolf can't believe it and the prosecutor is sweating worried sweat, Judge Wang slams down his gavel::: COURT Adjourned!:::as he brisklly runs off his bench and dissapears into his chambers:::
::the court room explodes as everyone Apploudes Jeebuses amazing win, as Wolf Hugs Jeebus before realizing theyr gonan fight this tuesday and then giving eachother stone stares:::
Justin:::runs up with Kelly to Jeebus and wolf::: That was an amazing victory, how did you do it?
Jeebus: I'm really just a people person, I know the ins and out of people and once I found the in for the judge I made him understand my clients predicament and as you can see it all turned out for the best.
Kelly: I would assume this will not affect how you feel about eachother Tuesday night though?
Jeebus: Not at all I still plan on ripping Wolfs throat out through his ass.
Wolf: huh what did I miss something?
Kelly: SO how do you feel about your newlly acquired freedom??
Wolf: blah blah blah...:::the interview continues but Jeebus leaves and tokes up in his car, then puts on some Creedence and drives back to the CIA:::
Title: Tag team
Posted By: Sexyking
Would anyone tag partener with me ... for life !!!... no,no,no Im not Chuck, that was joke.But really, would anyone tag team partner with me. If not, my mum gonna come and tell oyu about " How to wash up windows" and I can tell thats not nice thing
Title: The trial part 2
Posted By: Wolf
[Wolf is standing beside kelly looking rather surprised at the verdict]
*Kelly* "So Wolf how do you think jeebus did it"
[Wolf scratches his head for a second and blinks]
*Wolf* "Well ermm. Voodoo?..Pact with the devil?..Gave the judge a blowjob. How the hell do i know. Im a wrestler not a frikkin law student."
[Kellu smirks and runs her fingers through her hair]
*Kelly* "There are also rumours of you having a drink problem. care to shed any light on this?"
[Wolf starts to sweat profusely as he straightens his tie up]
*Wolf* "I dont drink anymore, Im done with all that stuff.....(wolf blinks)..Why are you buying?"
[Kelly shakes her head and walks off giggling to herself]
TBC BY JEEBUS
Title: Chief of Staff, I Guess
Posted By: Richard Bregnard
(-Cut to Parking Lot-)
(The darkness of night fills the parking lot outside CIA Headquarters. The night is broken when a large limo pulls up. The camera pans down to get all of the car in view, then slowly moves towards the farest door on the limo. The door opens, and slams the camera. A man gets out and walks over to him.)
Richard - "I would say I was sorry, but you are just a mere camera man. Pathetic. Me, on the other hand, I am the Chief of Staff. Now get up and follow me. I have a few important announcments to make."
(The camera man stands and begins to follow Richard. He follows him through the main doors, and into the small lobby. A women is sitting behind the desk, chewing gum while twirling a pencil. Her name tag reada Tammy.)
Tammy - "How may help you sir?"
(Richard looks at Tammy funny. He glances down at his suit. It cost him seven hundred dollars. He looks back up at Tammy.)
Richard - "Excuse me, but I don't believe you know who I am?"
Tammy - "No sir, I don't now who you are."
(Richard turns and looks at the camera with a pissed look on his face.)
Richard - "I am Richard Bregnard. Does that ring a bell?"
(Tammy looks up, and she shakes her head. She begins to chew her gum louder.)
Tammy - "Nope, never heard of you."
Richard - "I am the new Chief of Staff you idiot! I have the power from General Manager Brickhouse to do whatever I want!"
(Tammy puts down her magazine, and stops chewing her gum.)
Tammy - "Sure you are, now what do you want?"
(Richard tries to control his anger as he looks back up at Tammy. He calms down, and fixes his tie.)
Richard - "I would like to speak with Brickhouse."
Tammy - "Do you have an appointment?"
(Richard slams his hands on the desk. Tammy leans backwards as she spits out her gum.)
Richard - "I am the Chief os Staff damb it! I can fire you in an instant! Now let me see Brickhouse!
(Tammy stands with a shocked look on her face. She picks up a phone.)
Tammy - "If you don't calm down sir I will have to call security!"
(Richard turns around. He looks at the camera, then swings his body and takes out everything on the desk. Tammy pushes a button on the phone. About ten seconds later, two security guards show up.)
Guard - "Okay buddy, you come with me."
Richard - "I am the Chief os Staff damb it! Let mespeak to Brickhouse, he will back me up!"
(The guard opens the door and takes Richard outside. He throws him on the ground.)
Guard - "We will just wait here while the cops drive here."
Richard - "You can't arrest me, I am the Chief of Staff! I have to make orders in the ranks! You are the first to be fired if you don't let me go!"
(The guards look at each other. The smile and the pick up Richard.)
Guard - "Okay, we will let you go. Just let us take you for a ride while you cool off."
(The guards take him into the car and drive him around for a bit. Finally, they stop on top of a small bridge.)
Guard - "Okay, everybody out."
(Richard smiles as he gets out, but when he steps out on the pavement, he has a shcoked look on his face.)
Richard - "Why the hell are we here?"
Guard - "We are letting you go."
(The guard grabs Richard and throws him off the bridge. Richard plunges into the deep river. He floats up to the top and begins screaming.)
Richard - "You will pay for this! I swear you will pay!"
(The two guards laugh as they get back into there cars. The guard that is driving starts the car. He asks the other guard a question.)
Guard - "What was so special about that river again?"
(The passenger laughs and looks towards him.)
Guard - "That is where the fish go to mate."
(Both guards begin to laugh as they driver off. The camera looks over the edge of the bridge and Richard is shown. He got to the bank and he is trying to dry off. he looks at his pant leg.)
Richard - "I don't remember eating yogurt."
(He takes it and puts it in his mouth. The camera man begins to crack up.)
Richard - "Strawberry, not bad."
(Richard begins to walk back up to the brigde.)
(-Camera Fade to Black-)
Title: Irresistable Force? Immovable Object?
Posted By: Hardbody
[The image opens on a gymnasium, a shadowy figure working out on a double butterfly machine, squeezing simultaniously with arms and legs, over 400lbs being moved by the arm pads, while the legs are making easy work of over half a ton. As the camera moves closer the light reveals one of the newest wrestlers to join, at 6 and 3/4 feet tall, Hardbody, a towering blond, with very well defined muscles, that, while obvious and toned, aren't so bulging as to detract from the femine curves of her figure. She smiles at the camera, as she stops pumping the arms of the machine, causing her to thrust her chest forward a bit, though her legs continue to pump.]
Hardbody- "Welcome to this humble gym. A friend of mine lets me use it to keep in top form."
(Hardbody pumps the arms twice before continuing)
Hardbody- "I'm not going to make any outlandish challenges, or some claim that I'll crush every man, woman, and thing in and out of the ring... Well, atleast not right now"
(She winksas a mischevious smile crosses her lips)
Hardbody- "I really only requested this interview so I could introduce myself to the fans, and my opposition."
(She slips her arms out from the Butterfly Machine's and brushes a stray lock of her golden hair from her face, leaning forward a bit, her legs still keeping a steady rhythm as they squeeze together, to keep her regiment up in part.)
Hardbody- "I'm not exactly the most experience Wrestler in the world, but I've done my share of grappling, and trained with a few of my far more veteran like friends, been a valet, and yes, I've won a few beauty pagents and fitness competitions. I'm willing to accept most any challenge, be it from man, woman, or unknown creature from who knows where, and I can guarantee that I do live up to my name. I'm strong, I'm tough, and I'm the perfect belnd of Immovable Object and Irresistable Force, and when I apply either on an opponent, there will be no denying the physics of my might."
(She quickens the pace of her legs to show how easily she can crush something... or someone between them)
Hardbody- "So, until my first match, I'll be training. Just remember, that when an Irresistable Force meets and Immovable Object, everything and everyone else nearby will be devistated and destroyed."
(She winks again and sits back up, sliping her arms back into the Butterfly and matching her legs pace with her arms, to make up for lost time. A knowing smile crossing her lips.)
[The image fades to black and is followed by a commercial for Education and Staying in school while focusing on the need for Science in everyday life, the a commercial for Diamond's Gym.]
Title: Steiner is here
Posted By: scott stiener
well we got a interview with scott steiner
now scott you are comen to the cia and yes you will make a impacted here i know that wut your comments
Steiner-well you know sometime i don't care what it takes to be the champ cause scott stiener is the big voodo daddy and he his comen to kick some ass cause i am the gentic freak and i will be there soon and i say try me if you can cause to all my freaks out there big poppa pump is your hook up holla if you here me
crowd cheers
well thanks for your time and see you soon stiener
we will be back after this time out
Title: Bifter Central! *JEEBUS*
Posted By: Wolf
[The camera changes to a shot of the backstage area. The camera zooms into a shot of wolfs locker room. A sign is hanging just barely on a piece of blue tak. It reads "Safety Goggles must be worn at all times in this area".. The camera man opens to door. Suddenly he is overcome by a wave of strangely coloured smoke. He begins to cough loudly. The camera man risks it and enters the locker room. After nearly tripping over about three strangely well places obstacles he hears two voices giggling. They sound very familiar. The smoke clears and the camera shot becomes less clouded, Jeebus and Wolf are sitting on a bench laughing at each other with a joint burning. A pile of smoked spliffs is evident beneath their feet]
*Wolf* "Hey Jeebus!?..he he he he he..ha ha ha ha"
[Jeebus slaps wolf on the back]
*Jeebus* "What is it wolfy boy..he he he he"
[Wolf slaps himself and smiles]
*Wolf* "We really dont like each other do we...he he he he he he...ha ha ha ha"
[Jeebus and wolf break into a fit of hysterical laughter and begin to nod in as if nodding to music]
*Wolf* "This beat is so good..!"
[Jeebus nods out of time now]
*Jeebus* "So is this one!"
[Wolf stops and starts to sing loudly..Jeebus starts to beat box]
*Wolf* "My name is wolf.........Im the grandmaster dog.....im all fuckked up on this purple haze fog...My aim is to claim to best damn name in the history of the fortune and fame...JEEBUS TAKE IT"
[Wolf starts to beat bop and gives jeebus the stage]
*Jeebus* "errrr....errrrrr.....errrr...errrr...errrrr..errrrr...errrrr...errrr"
[Jeebus starts to get paranoid. He picks up a trash can and pummels wolf in the head with it]
*wolf* "What the hell was that for!"
[Jeebus nods and laughs]
*Jeebus* "This little voice in my head told me that sudden head traumer can in fact increase endorfin levels..strange that aint it"
[wolf smiles and picks up a baseball bat from under his chair..Jeebus's eyes bug out his head..]
*Jeebus* "Whoa DUDE!...lets not go nuts!"
[Wolf shakes his head and pulls out a baseball out of his pocket]
*Wolf* "You up for a ballgame in the loading area?"
[Jeebus nods]
*Jeebus* "Does the pop wear a funny hat?"
[Jeebus and wolf nod and begin to walk out the locker room.]
*Wolf* "Watch out for the!-"
[Jeebus trips over the obstacles]
*Jeebus* "well for one thing we need a team..I call Ritter as 1st baseman"
*Wolf* "I call mad dog as cheerleader.."
[Jeebus giggles]
*Jeebus* "HUH!"
*Wolf* "Doh!"
[The camera changes to a wide shot of wolf and jeebus walking side by side. Jeebus put his arm round wolf..]
*Jeebus* "You wolfy boy this could be the start of a beautiful friendship"
[Jeebus and wolf laugh together then stop and stare at each other]
*Wolf* "Except we cant stand each other..!"
[Wolf and jeebus go back to laughing then stare again]
*Jeebus* "You are so going down..My curve ball will wipe the floor with your swing!"
[Jeebus runs down the hall followed by wolf shouting]
*Wolf* "Oh your on big man. You are going down..So down!"
(Camera Fades)
Title: Lost In Dartmouth
Posted By: Prime Offender
** As your regularly scheduled match has ended the visual on your Television cuts to a wide shot of Halifax Harbour in where else but Halifax Nova Scotia....The ferry is running back and forth across the water as you here a voice over come into the speakers **
Many people have been asking where he has been since the rebirth of ICW as a federation...Noone knows..Many say he is in Alaska training Sled Dogs...Others say he is locked in the bathroom back at the old arena..So the question remains where is CIA Insane Champion Jimmy Bruce The Prime Offender? To find Jimmy we have returned to his hometown of Halifax Nova Scotia in search of the man himself.....
** The scene fades out as we see a women with blonde hair about 3 years or less older then Jimmy himself she is obviously very beautiful as the voice over starts again **
This is Monique Myton Jimmy's high school sweet heart now if anyone knows where he is it may be her so Monique have you seen Jimmy Bruce?
** The woman rolls her eyes **
[ Monique ] That asshole? If I see him he better be wearing a cup cause I wanna kick him where the sun don't shine!
So is that a no?
** The woman spits on the camera and stomps off as the camera slowly fades into a office of some sorts as the visual catches a plaque on the table that says Bob Johnson Principal **
Mr Johnson...You were Jimmy..Err James's Principal during his years at Dartmouth High School and as of late this international Icon has disappeared and well we are just wondering if you have any information that could possibly lead us to finding him?
** Boobs err Bob Johnson scratches his fat head thinking as his head wrinkles and unwrinkles **
[ Bobby J ] Well you see Mr. Bruce was always a evasive student of sorts, meaning well if he doesn't want to be found he wont be found...I mean he could be even lost in dartmouth and you couldnt find him...You see Mr. Bruce never finished school here cause well...*Sighs* He didn't have the work ethic and never went to class...But....
Mr.Johnson!
[ Bobby ] What?
Just answer the question please!
[ Bobby ] Oh..Sorry well if I were to bet I would check his place in GreenWood Heights that him and his seperated wife have.
Thank you...Oh by the way did anyone tell you look like a walrus? No? Well you do! Thanks for your help!
** The scene fades from the anrgy walrus look alike face of Mr. Johnson to a large white billboard sign that has the words GreenWood Heights written in a dark green across it as that damn voiceover has returned **
GreenWood Heights....This is where Jimmy and his wife have lived since they were married several years back...His modest life is a sheer symbol of how simple this champion is...In this very Trailer....
** The scene fades again as we see a beat up old old trailer inside you can hear voices screaming from inside suddenly SMASH a large black wilson duffle bag goes thru the window **
[ Male Voice ] Fucking Bitch! Thats my gear you slut! Fucking jesus your such a stupid slut!
*SMASH*
** A gold object goes directly out the next window as the camera zooms in on it as the words Insane World HeavyWeight Champion is imprinted across it as the camera pans to the side as you see a beautiful 1979 rebuilt dark blue Jeep as suddenly the door flys open and a man in a white shirt and faded blue jeans goes thru the door and lands on the ground roughly almost hitting the jeep, his back is the the camera as this fat beastily man thing comes out the door staring at the man like she is gonna kill him **
[ Fat Bitch Wife ] Oh and you can take this dirty fucking thing and take your career to!
** She throws a Red hat at the man who suddenly stands up and catches it and puts it on his head backwards we recognize him as the Prime Offender **
Ladies and Gentlemen..You are observing the Insane Champion Jimmy Bruce The Prime Offender before your very self! Lets listen in for more!
** Jimmy just catches glimpse of the camera and grins as he grabs his gear **
[ Jimmy ] Listen up bitch! I told you I just came to get my shit you sure lost it after you started eaten so much..So fuck you..Only the best pussy for the Insane Champion cause guess what I've got fans that are alot more appreciative then some fucking one drunken mistake trailer park trash like you so fuck you I've got fans to please...
** The woman just stomps back into the house slamming the door as you hear the rumbles of her fatself walking as PO turns to the camera **
[ Jimmy ] You ready for the return of the best? Cause Jimmy ain't no longer hiding and he sure ain't lost in Dartmouth any mother fucking more...So CIA Are You Ready? Cause I am...Be prepared for ANY MEANS NECESSARY to be put back into effect..See you soon!
** PO gets into his car and the engine starts up as he peels off down the road as Bring Yah Whole Crew by DMX can be heard faintly in the background as the visual fades out **
Note: This was supposed to be before his first match but nooooo so lets pretend it was :)
Title: Chit Brickhouse
Posted By: Sexyking
*Sexyking sits on soffa and takes mic*
- Chit, I understand if you are not observed me. We finnish are always some "rubbish-gang" for yuo, americans, bittish or canadians. But now Im bored. Give me that fucking match and be a good guy. When you had seen my matchs. You pray me to wrestle on your league. If you dont give that fucking..... match, the YOU...GONNA...PAY !
Title: Sexyking - Match Set
Posted By: Richard Bregnard
(-Cut to House Show Arena-)
(The crowd is going wild as the pyro continues to blast out of the rampway and screen. The camera pans over the whole crowd as they hold up signs like, "The X for President" or "Brickhouse, Hit the Bricks!" The entrance music stops and the announcers can be heard.)
Dean - "Hello everybody! Welcome to another great CIA show!"
Joel - "It is show to be a ruckus night!"
(The camera flashes to a shot in the parking lot. A large limo is pulling up next to the camera.)
Dean - "Who the hell could this be?"
Joel - "Why are you asking me? I have no idea!"
(Then, the door opens and Richard Bregnard steps out. The crowd boos the new Chief of Staff.)
Joel - Well, our new Chief of Staff, Richard Bregnard, is here!
Dean - Well, hippie-ki-yo-ki-yay!
Joel - Just shut up Dean.
(Richard walks towards the camera, but he is stopped by Genessa. She has a microphone.)
Genessa - "Mr. Bregnard, sir. May I have a moment?"
(Richard looks down as Genessa and smirks.)
Richard - "You are just the type of person I have been hired to get rid of! Who do you think you are? Walking up to me in such an obtrusive manner! Get out of here!"
(Genessa walks away in shock as Richard signals for his driver to follow.)
Dean - "Well, that sucked for Genessa!"
Joel - "Sure did, but now we have to go to are commercials. Unlike the WWE, we like doing these before and after matches, not during."
(-Commercial Break-)
(The camera comes back and shows the big screen again. Dean and Joel stand by at the announce table.)
Dean - "So, you're saying that if I lock her in the closet, she'll stop crying."
Joel - "I think we are back on Dean."
Dean - "Here comes another lawsuit."
(Then, an unknown music plays over the PA system.)
Dean - "Who could this be?"
(Richard Bregnard walks out to a wave of boos. He has a clipboard in his hand, and he is walking with a smirk on his face.)
Joel - "What a surprise."
(Richard rolls into the ring and looks out at the crowd. He waves to one side, then signals for his music to stop. He grabs a microphone from one of the ringside workers.)
Richard - "Hello to all my fans in this horrid city of Montreal!"
(The crowd sounds confused as a ringside worker whispers something Richard's ear.)
Richard - "This is Toronto? Oh, even worse! Well, that is besides the point."
(The crowd boos loudly as an "asshole" chant starts.)
Richard - "The first thing I have to address is my position here in the CIA. I am the Chief of Staff. I am here to keep order, and ocassionally force it. Trust me, I will force it."
(The crowd boos even louder as a "Shut Up" chant starts.)
Richard - "Well, moving on, I see that Sexyking..."
(The crowd bursts into cheers as a "Sexyking" chant starts.)
Richard - "... Wants a match this Friday. Well, as Chief of Staff, and with the power of Chit Brickhouse behind me, I will give you that match."
(The crowd goes nuts as the camera pans over the upper deck.)
Richard - "Not just in any match however, but in a Street Fight! His opponent you may ask? There is only one person I could think of."
(The crowd begins to chant "Prime Offender".)
Richard - "No, not Prime Offender, but me! I will be facing Sexyking in a Table match this Friday!"
(The crowd boos again at the Chief of Staff.)
Richard - "So, by the power of General Manager Chit Brockhouse, I hereby book Sexyboy against me, in a Table Match! Thank you!"
(The crowd boos louder then ever as Richard gets out of the ring. The camera flashes to a view of the announcers.)
Dean - "That will be a good one!"
Joel - "Yes it will. Sorry folks, but we have to go back to commercial break!"
(-Camera Fade to Black-)
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