CHAPTER TWELVE

You have 13 messages.

"Oh Lord," I said aloud, as I realized who most of them would be from. I hit the "play" button.

"Hey Summer, its Sean. We have to talk. Please, please please call me back. Peace." I felt the lump in my throat grow bigger as he spoke each word.

"Hey, its Vic. I wanna talk to you. What you saw today, well, I’m sure it wasn't what you expected, but its not what it seemed. Call me..please."

I didn't want to hear the rest of the messages, knowing that that would be the majority of them. Right now, I wanted to just sulk in my depression and eat all kinds of ice cream. A nice, hot, bubble bath sounded great at the moment too. I walked around my house, gathering the necessities for my bubble bath when the phone rang.

"Oh Lord," I said, anticipating a call from Sean or Vic. I walked over the cold kitchen tile until I reached the caller ID. It read Sean Valor. I sighed.

"Hello," I stated. It wasn't a question, since I knew who I was awaiting.

"Summer! God, I've been trying to get ahold of you since you ran off at the restaurant," he said exasperatedly. I paused, not knowing what to say. "Sum, you there?" he said again.

"Yeah, yeah, I’m here," I said between sighs. I didn't know how this conversation was going to go, but I knew that we'd both have to be very cautious with our words.

"Did you get my messages?" he asked eagerly.

"Um, one of them. I didn't check them all though," I stated matter of factly.

"Can we talk?" he asked carefully.

"Right this second?" I asked. It wouldn't be the best time, given my little all night depress-athon that I had going.

"Well, yeah. I've been dying to get ahold of you," he said sweetly and without the hesitations of false sentiment.

I paused to think about it. If he came over, and depressed me more, the depress-athon wouldn't be off. If he came over, and things got patched up, that would be better than having a depress-athon. "Sure. Come on over," I said emotionless. I didn't want him to get his hopes up, although I missed him tremendously.

"Great. I'll be right over," he said. "Wait. I've never been to your place," he realized, with a pause. "Wow, that’s strange."

"Yeah, you’re right. I've never been to your place either," I agreed. "Well the address is - do you have a pen?" I made sure.

"Yeah, shoot."

"The address is 469 Broadway, Apt. 7," I said as I fumbled with my pen. "You coming over right away?" I asked absentmindedly.

"Um, I can be over faster than that," he said strangely.

"What do you mean?" There was a knock on the door. "Hold on, someone’s here," I said as I walked towards my front door. Since I had no eyepiece, I opened it on up.

"Sean?" I asked in shock. There he was, on the phone right in front of me. "How'd you get here so fast?" I talked into the receiver. I shook my head, and put the phone down, smiling. He put his down too. "How'd you get here so fast?" I repeated.

"You’re not going to believe this, but I live right there," he said, emphasizing 'right there.' I looked over, and sure enough, Sean was the noisy neighbor that I had been complaining about for so long. Who knew?

"Are you serious?" I said laughing. "So it was you being noisy all night!" I was giggling.

"And it was you throwing shoes against the wall, banging pots and pans to get my attention!" he added.

"WOW!" we both said in unison.

"Well come on in," I said, still laughing. I couldn't believe it. This sure threw in an extra added twist onto the saga. It may have dulled the pain and severity of the situation, but it didn't relinquish it completely. "Make yourself at home," I told him, as I walked to the kitchen. "You want anything to drink?" I asked very hostess like. "I've got apple juice, coffee, cranberry juice, orange juice, milk, and water." I threw out the list.

"No thanks."

"Ok, cool," I said as I walked out to the living room, where he had taken a seat on my beautiful couch. I only say so, because I love that couch. Pure white, fluffy, high backed, and totally comfortable. It was adorned with leopard pillows, to add a little decor. I made my way over to the love seat across from the coach itself, and I set my glass on my coffee table. It was dark oak, and very simple. Once I had gotten settled in, he began to speak.

"Ok, well like I said, we need to talk," he started. I nodded. He cleared his throat, and looked at my carpet, as if contemplating his words.

"I dont know how to start this, but I've gotta get it all out." He ran his hand through his hair. "What you saw at that little café, well isn't what it seems." He looked at me for some sign of emotion, but I offered none. It felt horrible, but I needed to get the truth, and by being sympathetic, I dont know that I'd get it all out of him.

"Ok, let me start here. I have this secret, which I should have told you a long time ago, but I didn't, which is only the beginning of my problems." He took a breath, apparently trying to pace himself. "I called Vic one night a while back to ask her how to tell you this secret, since she's your best friend." I nodded. "Well we agreed to meet at the McDonalds over by her house to talk about it, cause I wanted it to be private. We've been talking about it since then, but in private." He finished. "That’s just about all of it in a nutshell," he said, seeming content with his explanation.

"Well?" I asked. What was this big secret that he couldn’t tell me, his girlfriend, but my best friend? That angered me the most.

"Well what?" he asked, seeming clueless.

"What’s this big secret that you couldn't tell your girlfriend, but you could tell her best friend?" I asked slightly bitterly.

"No, babe, its not like that. See, I didn't want you to see me differently than you do. I love the relationship we had before, and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that purposefully," he said sincerely.

"So you can tell me then?" I asked, trying to seem stoic. He looked at the floor again. He ran his fingers through his hair again and then looked up at me. He seemed torn.

"You promise not to see me any differently?" he asked slowly, as if thinking each word as it came out.

"Sure. You’re not gay are you?" I asked concerned.

He chuckled. "No, no of course not." He put on a straight face again. "Its just that I’m afraid this is going to affect things. But I guess I have to be honest with you."

"Ok, go ahead. If you’re not gay, you didn't cheat on me with my best friend, and you’re not really a woman, I dont see what the problem is," I said, half joking, half curious. What could it be?

"You got me," he confessed. "I’m really a woman."

I smiled slyly, and said "Well that explains a lot. I mean, your obsession with shopping, and your image, and the way you walk. Its definitely girly," I said grinning.

"Hey hey hey. That was a joke, no need for words," he said smiling back. There was a brief silence, as we shifted gears from funny to serious. "Well, I wont beat around the bush. The secret I've been keeping from you is that I'm not really Sean Valor. I dont live in LA, and I dont really live next door," he blurted out. I was confused.

"Wait, not really Sean Valor? You dont live in LA?" I asked quizically.

"No, see, my name is AJ. I really live in Florida, on the beach," he explained. He stared at me for a long time, gauging my response. "I had to lie to you. I hate myself for doing it, but I didn't know how things were going to go with us."

"So what’s the big reason for lying to me? I’m hoping its not just some game you wanted to play with someone’s head, and their heart," I said, still utterly confused as to what was going on. Sean wasn't Sean, he was AJ, and didn't even live here. He had been lying to me from the beginning. How did I know he wasn't lying now, or he hadn't lied about other things, like the whole Victoria thing. I didn't, and that scared me more than anything.

"Summer, baby, I had to. Here comes the weird part." There was more?

"Things cant get much more weirder," I pointed out.

He agreed, and went on. "Well, the whole reason behind my lies, is, well," he started.

"Go on."

"Well, its due to my career," he said. He seemed very reluctant to give information, but I had to know. I'd been in suspense for too long.

"What do you do? Are you an FBI agent or something?" My attempts at lightening the situation went unnoticed.

"Actually, I’m a singer. In a pretty popular group," he added.

"Why does that mean you had to lie to me? I dont see how you being a singer changes anything." I let out a high pitched yell. My attempt at singing. "Look, I’m a singer too. That doesn't change sh*t!" I said, beginning to get frustrated.

"Its more complicated than that. Our group is really popular," he said apprehensively. He put an emphasis on the word 'really.'

"What band are you in? NSync?" I asked jokingly. All I received was a blank look. Sean, or AJ, or whoever he was, just looked down.

"Actually, the Backstreet Boys," he said sheepishly. I didn't know what to say, so I laughed.

"Are you serious?" I asked. I couldn't believe it.

He just nodded. "I had to keep myself private, and I wanted to go to school, so I changed my name. The band's in LA on a hiatus from touring, and I thought I'd catch up on my missing college credits. I never got around to finishing, so I figured I'd make the best of my time." He looked at me, trying to figure out what I was thinking. "I didn't want to be recognized, so I changed my name for the time being. To be normal."

I looked at him, and felt totally sympathetic. Well, not totally. I hate being lied to. But I could see where he was coming from at least. I edged off of the couch and took his hand into mine. I kissed it softly, and looked him in the eye.

"I understand you totally, but one thing I’m unclear on is why you didn't feel you could trust me with your secret?" I said softly.

"Its not you babe. Its all me. I didn't want to lose you, and I was being selfish." He sighed. "I knew deep down I could trust you, it was just a matter of trusting myself. I was afraid of losing you," he explained heart-wrenchingly. "You’re the best thing since sliced bread," he said with a smile, "and not exactly something I’m willing to give up so easily." He looked me in the eyes, straight on and I didn't know what to say. It was my turn to look down at my carpet, and I found the sudden relief that it brought. Relief of pressure, relief of knowing the exact words to say, and relief of all impending thoughts. Relief I wouldn't know for long. He tilted my chin up and bore into my eyes, as if reading their expression. I smiled gratefully, and he rested his forehead on mine. We just sat there, head on head, for a while.

It was the deepest feeling of satisfaction I have ever known, just to sit there and be close to him. We didn't need words, just sweet, sincere notions.

He kissed my forehead, and motioned for me to come over and lay down beside him on the couch. I agreed, and moved on over, and made myself comfortable in his arms. I was as happy as happy could be, content as I would ever grow to be. I was unbelievably fulfilled with my life right now. As I lay there in his arms, he ran his fingers through my hair, and gazed down at me fondly. I looked back up at him with the same adoration. As I started to drift off, thoughts of AJ, as the rest of the world called him, came to mind. All of it was starting to sink in. The truth, the way it felt, how I was going to deal.

My brain was too out of it to handle all of this emotional overload. I took advantage of the moment, and fell asleep in my baby's arms.

Chapter 13
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