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» CHAPTER TWO «

For a period of time that seemed like forever, but could have been only a second, AJ saw nothing but darkness and occasional shadowy figures lurking in the background of his mind. He felt like he was underwater, struggling to reach the top, but being held down by something. Then after what seemed like eternity, he surfaced and forced his eyes open.

Everything was a fuzzy white. ‘Oh my God, I’ve lost my sight!’ was AJ’s first frantic thought. Then things gradually became clear, and he relaxed, but only for a second until he realized that he was in a hospital room.

’What happened?’ he thought, trying to clear his head. ‘And why does it feel like half of me is missing?’

A familiar figure entered the room. It was AJ’s mother, Denise, looking like she’d lost her only child.

’Wait a minute. I’m her only child’ AJ tried several times to speak before he actually got his voice to work. "Mom!"

Denise looked up, startled. Then her eyes filled with tears as she rushed to the side of the bed where her son lay. "Baby, my baby," she whispered over and over, hugging him tightly.

AJ started crying too, although he wasn’t quite sure why. He knew something horrible had happened, but was afraid to ask what.

"Mom, what’s---what happened to me?" he asked nervously. He waited for her to smile and say everything would be fine, but that response never came. Instead, Denise just looked at him sadly.

"I’ll go get the doctors and call everybody," she said quickly. "We’ll talk when you’ve been examined."

"Yeah, be sure to call Mya, too. I wanna see my girl," AJ said as Denise turned to leave. The way she stopped and shook her head slightly told him something was very wrong. She didn’t say anything however, just continued on her way out the door.

An icy chill ran down AJ’s spine. The sensation that something was missing remained. He tried to stretch his legs, but they wouldn’t respond. In fact, he couldn’t feel anything below his waist. He slumped back against the hospital pillows in a state of disbelief.

"No," AJ said, shaking his head vigorously, as if that would make it all go away. "No!" This cry brought his mother back in, along with several doctors, who immediately started checking him over. "Why in the hell can’t I feel anything?" he asked shakily, nearly crying again.

Denise bent down and hugged him again. "Honey," she started, then bit her lip, knowing what she was about to say would devastate AJ. "You aren’t--you can’t--"

"Your spinal chord was severed in the accident and you’re paralyzed," said one of the doctors.

AJ was too stunned to say anything. He felt numb, no thought, no feeling. There was a roaring in his ears, as well as a silent scream too intense to be voiced. ‘Paralyzed’. The word echoed over and over in his head. ‘I can’t walk anymore. I’ll never dance again. Never run across a stage again. How can I ever perform again? From a wheelchair??’

"You must have made a mistake," AJ said desperately. "Mom, tell them they’re wrong."

Denise gently took her son’s hand. "X-rays and scans don’t lie, sweetie."

Harshly, AJ shoved her hand away. What he felt now was an intense anger. "What accident? Tell me how I got here, dammit!" he shouted, tears running down his face.

"You and Mya were in a limousine, a truck ran a red light and hit it head on. . ."

Slowly, it all started coming back. That night...he was going to propose...the screeching tires, the sickening crunch of metal. Mya had been in his arms.

"Mya!" he said suddenly. "Mom, what happened to Mya? She’s ok, right?" AJ looked into his mother’s eyes, begging her to give him at least some good news.

‘Why should anyone have to be hit with things like this all at the same time? He can’t handle so much at once’ Denise thought sadly. "Mya’s. . .she didn’t make it, AJ," she said gently.

The expression that came over AJ’s face broke Denise’s heart. He turned his head away and stared into space.

"Then I don’t want to live, either," he whispered, his voice filled with pain. Now he knew the reason it felt like half of him was missing, aside from his paralysis. Mya was gone. She would be forever missing, along with a part of his heart and soul. It was at that point that AJ stopped caring whether he lived or died. Because as far as he was concerned, the main things he had lived for were gone.

¤ Chapter 3 ¤
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