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» CHAPTER TEN: IN AN INSTANT «

Kevin stared into space as he sat outside in the garden; he had been almost mute since a week ago, when Brian confessed the whole story to him. Geri had been gone, into town. Brian had disappeared. The house was almost completely empty. Kevin didn't know what to do. He sometimes wished that Brian had killed him, then he wouldn't have to be dealing with his current pain. Hearing steps behind him, Kevin turned around from the bench he was sitting on.

"Hi." Melanie muttered, turning up one corner of her mouth. Kevin returned the half smile and acknowledged her with a nod.

"You really don't know where Brian's gone?" Melanie asked sitting down.

"I don't know that..." Kevin sighed heavily and looked down at the grass, "But I do know some other information. Are you willing to sit here for awhile?"

*

Brian shivered as he pounded down London's busy streets. He jammed his hands into his empty jacket pocket to thaw them from the freezing chill of the wind. All he had was what was on him and a crinkled photo of the three girls that he adored. But he could never go back, he was sure of that. Nothing would ever be the same, knowing that his secret was finally out. In a way, it did clear his conscience, but he wondered how everyone else would react when Kevin told them. Because he was sure that Kevin would. But he would never know what the girls thought. How badly he had waited for the day when he could have his one desire. Every second of the day almost killed him. Passing Geri in the halls. Bringing Geri her tea. Watching Geri bond so sweetly with her mother and sister. Laughing at Geri as she complained and fretted. Every moment was a treasure that was buried deep in his heart. Every moment that he was near to her, all he wanted was to be closer, and to never let go. With every step down the cobblestone streets his heart ached even more.

*

He arrived at the cheap, almost abandoned hotel he was staying at. The wind once again blew through his hair and froze every inch of his body. He walked inside, then trudged up the crumbling and twisting stairs to his small room. Sitting down on the bed, he pulled out the photo that was buried in the depths of his pocket. He stared at it for awhile, then held it against his heart. A sign of sorrow dripped down his cheek knowing he had lost everything he knew. His whole life, and then he realized that he was the only one to blame for his mistakes. Then he knew it was time. He arose hesitantly from his spot and opened a drawer to his bed dresser, slowly pulling out what he was looking for. He sobbed right up to the point where he was laying breathless on the frigid, wooden floor. Then as a puddle of his own blood formed around him, Brian drifted away.

chapter 11
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