Funny Poems

The Moron

See the happy moron,
He doesn't give a damn!
I wish I were a moron-
My God! Perhaps I am!
-Anonymous

Disgusting

At the boarding house where I live
Things are getting very old.
Long gray hairs in the butter,
And the cheese is green with mold.
When the dog died we had sausage,
When the cat died, catnip tea.
When the landlord died I left it;
Spareribs are too much for me.
-Anonymous

*Limericks*

I'd rather have fingers than toes,
I'd rather have ears than a nose;
As for my hair,
I'm glad it's still there,
I'll be awfully sad when it goes.

I love you

I love your lips when they're wet with wine
And red with a wild desire;
I love your eyes when the lovelight lies
Lit with a passionate fire.
I love your arms when the warm white flesh
Touches mine in a fond embrace;
I love your hair when the strands enmesh
Your kisses against my face.

Not for me the cold, calm kiss
Of a virgin's bloodless love;
Not for me the saint's white bliss,
Nor the heart of a spotless dove.
But give me the love that so freely gives
And laughs at the whole world's blame,
With your body so young and warm in my arms,
It sets my poor heart aflame.

So kiss me sweet with your warm wet mouth,
Still fragrant with ruby wine,
And say with a fervor born of the South
That your body and soul are mine.
Clasp me close in your warm young arms,
While the pale stars shine above,
And we'll live our whole young lives away
In the joys of a living love.
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Home
By Nick Carter
Home a place where I was born
A place to be comfortable a
Place maybe far but in my
Heart always over the rainbow.

Home always over the downs
And by the sea
And under the clouds
and in the breeze.

To watch a family
Learn and grow
To come home from school
To tell what I know.

But the one thing
That's best about home
It's always close
When you really need it.

Smile
by Sarah K. (me)
Your eyes are crystal blue
Your lips curved into a smile-
The one that steals my heart
And pulls me in for a while.

Your hair's a golden-brown
And sometimes almost white,
Yet your smile takes my heart-
And sends it on a flight.

I'm young and foolish- I know
And may not know of "true love"
But your smile assures my heart-
You're an angel sent from above.

An angel may not have a halo
An angel may not have wings,
But no angel's compare to your smile-
Or their voices to yours when you sing.

You're living proof of a miracle
Also, that dreams do come true,
Still, when I see you smile-
I can only say "I love you."

My Broken Heart
Sarah K. (me)
They run through my head
I wish i never knew
But my broken heart says
These painful words are true.

I hear them a lot
Sometimes it's too much
So i lie to myself
The lies are just a crutch.

Because i can't stand
To hear this awful phrase
I start to wonder why
I've loved you all these days.

I know you're the one
That i've longed and dreamed for
But they just say those words
And my heart breaks even more.

At night i'm depressed
When i cry, i can't even see
Even though they aren't the words, i ask:
"Why would he want me?"

I haven't experienced love at first sight
Though it's been said to come out of the blue
But I love you with all my broken heart
So i'll always wait for you.

Missing You
Sarah K. (me)
If you had any idea of how much i cared
Would you come back to me?
Because i see heaven in your eyes
And that's where i want to be.

But if you won't give me a second chance
And want to be with someone new
I think that i should let you know
How much i'm missing you.

I miss you every day and night
And cry in my spare time
But everyone knows i'm lying, when
I tell them that i'm fine.

They tell me i can do much better
And not to be so blue
But i don't want to do any better
Because i'm missing you.

My heart feels so empty
When you aren't near
You know we'd both feel better
If you came back here.

You're what I can't live without
And i know my heart is true
Seems like my heart will never be complete
'Cuz Still, i'm missing you.