//Every now and then I fall apart//
It was one of those nights. One of those nights where he needed to be held
to keep out the cold. One of those nights where it tried to eat him from the
inside out, and he knew he couldn't make it, wouldn't make it, if he didn't
have a warm body to curl into.
//And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right, 'cause we'll never be wrong//
Yes. That was just what he needed. A strong arm under his shoulders, and a
hand stroking down the length of his back, and the soothing wordless murmur
in his ear, the soft breath that accompanied it. The sure, steady knowledge
that here he was loved.
//Together we can make it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks//
"It's okay."
"I know." He loosened. "It's okay now. I-- thanks." For everything he
couldn't say. His throat was still too tight for the words to pass, and even
alone with the man who had been his universe for the past six years, he
couldn't speak them all. Some words were too fraught with emotion, and even
after all this time, he hated the vulnerability and emotional display. Some
other time, he would say them, some other time when he felt he could.
//I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight//
"Any time. You do it for me."
"Do you need me to do something for you tonight?"
"No." Apollo placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head, since he had
buried his face in the broad, warm chest the first chance he got. "You got
it the worst today. All I need is to know you're going to be okay."
//(turn around) And every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you
always wanted to be//
"I'm okay."
"No." He whispered. "You're not. But you will be. Just remember..."
//(turn around) And every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy
who wanted me the way that I am//
He looked up, waiting for his lover to finish.
"Got your attention? Good. I love you. I always will. Nothing will change
that-- change us. Ever."
//(turn around) Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as
magical and wonderous as you//
Tears stung his eyes, and he quickly re-buried his face to avoid
acknowledging them.
"I love you, too. Always." He assented.
//(turn around) Every now and then I know there's nothing any better,
there's just nothing that I wouldn't do//
"Remember it?"
"Always."
//Once upon a time, I was falling in love
Now I'm only falling apart//
The depression was still there, but it was more bearable, except for the
guilt he felt over having to drag Apollo into the emotional turmoil that was
his psyche.
//Nothing I can do, total eclipse of the heart//
Apollo still loved him, though. That was enough to make things look up, and
they never seemed as bad in the morning, after a night of being held.
//Once upon a time, there was light in my life
Now there's only love in the dark//
Maybe a night of being more than held. And why not? The chemicals released
to the brain after sex helped to combat depression, and sex with Apollo beat
60 mg of Prozac any day.
//Nothing I can do, total eclipse of the heart//
Yes, it was one of those nights, but maybe, with a little luck and a little
love, tomorrow wouldn't be one of those days. If he lost himself in his
feelings for his lover instead of his feelings about how the last fight had
gone. And losing himself in Apollo was always easy.
//Nothing I can do, total eclipse of the heart
Nothing I can do, total eclipse of the heart
Turn around, bright eyes
Turn around...//
~Fin~
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