Badger, eagle, lion, snake,
Four banners - and your fate.
Three of Hogwarts houses; good,
But one of them is great.
For all the evil in this world
The Slytherins are blamed
A scapegoat for the masses
But we will not be ashamed!
We're prouder than the centaurs
You call us sly and mean?
You wish you were Slytherin!
You want to dress in green!
And wear a snake upon your chest
Tell jokes in parseltongue
You'll regret, for we hold grudges
All those accusations flung.
You're all so bloody noble!
Yet you slander us all day
Who would you blame for all your faults
If we all went away?
And who'd add spice to Quidditch?
Who'd be all the fun?
With no Slytherins around to beat
You'd never care who won!
We save you from mundanity!
Ungrateful mudblood filth!
Defence against banality
Since Salazar himself!
Who wants to be courageous?
The brave ones all die young.
Who wants to play games fairly?
We'd rather that we won!
We'd rather play with cunning
Worthy of the Serpent-tongue
Who wants to fight for justice
When we never see it done?
Let lesser mortals follow light
Be martyrs to their cause
We don't waste our time on clichés
We're not bloody Gryffindors!
No, subtlety's our creed and code
All Slytherins are taught
That any fool can lie and cheat
But only fools get caught!
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