Super 4s: Teams

Super 4s team names may appear to be chosen randomly or, in any case, without just cause. Contained forthwith is an explanation of some of the team names, listed in approximate order of exclusiveness.

Record So Far: 2 Losses Played So Far: A M Korbel (2), W Y-J Lin (2), N M Shehata, E L Squires.

One of the most restricted entry teams. Only players who possess a 'Bones'* T-shirt, white or dyed, may play in this team. The wearing of these shirts during play is voluntary, unless 'Bones' attire is declared compulsory by the team captain. The team captain may only be either the distributing source of the 'Bones' T-shirts or any member WEARING a 'Bones' T-shirt which must have been duly dyed an approved captain's colour or a Bones Boy nominated by a previous captain. An additional requirement of any Bones Boys squad is that at least one player must have the proven capability of consuming a standard large pan pizza (eight slices) or equivalently, ten slices of any mix of thin and pan pizzas. NB: 'Stuffed crust' pizzas may replace pan pizzas. In the case of unavailability of such foodstuffs, fried chicken pieces, nuggets and burgers are allowed in lieu. One pizza slice is equivalent to one fried chicken slice or two nuggets or a small burger or half of a large burger. In the case of nuggets, at least one container of supplied sauce (not including tomato sauce) must also be consumed - if not, then a two nugget penalty is incurred. It is customary for this predator to also devour at least one side order. Any greasy, gelatinous, carcinogenic, gritty, cholesterol-rich or M.S.G.-laden foods are acceptable; french fries or Cheezels are the norm.
* Specifically, a Triple M: Rockwood Cemetery 'Run Like Hell' 1997 T-shirt.
Members: A M Korbel, W Y-J Lin, N M Shehata+, E L Squires+.
+ May play as captain.

Record So Far: 3 Wins Played So Far: A M Korbel (2), D Lau, W Y-J Lin (3), S M Qadri (2), T-T Tan (2).

Over half of any Penetrator squad must have seen the motion picture "The Penetrator" or, alternatively "P2: Grudge Day". In addition the respectable initial hirer of this cinematic classic or at least two of the other three premiere attendees must be in this side. The only other qualification allowed for purist Penetrator entry is strong experience in the pornography industry, including at least one suitably humourous professional name change. Some candidates may be allowed provisional membership (and thus participation in a Penetrator lineup) for possessing such career prospects and this is usually judged by the player's carriage, demeanour and breeding. Debutants, by default may join a Penetrator squad if all other players in the team are Gold members and include S M Qadri.
Gold (Purist) members: A M Korbel, W Y-J Lin, S M Qadri+ and T-T Tan.
+ Default captain.

Record So Far: 1 Win, 2 Losses Played So Far: V Y-C Ding, A M Korbel (2), C Liu, K H-K Ng, S M Qadri (2), N M Shehata (3).

A team owned and captained only by the honourable creator of this team name, this team must have this player and at least of one of, either a Bones Boy, a caucasian or an appropriately dressed 'Yob'. Other team members are selected at the captain's discretion, although any tertiary or further entry candidate may be denied a place if their communication manner and/or general disposition is overly refined. If this is the case, such a candidate is allowed to make an attempt at imitating an acceptable tone. Common test phrases are 'Talk to yer mates at Robbo's', 'Youse all can afford a Blue Haven pool,' and 'I'm ready for a fair go any day, mate.' The two or more senior members will judge the candidate's attempt - if refused, no more than two appeals (repeat tests) will be tolerated. Attributes such as beer guts, torn and tattered clothing, decrepit cars and poor and/or cheap haircuts (e.g. the ramp) are all accredited by The Yobs and, as such, are likely to be used to make final team picks.
Team Name Creator: N M Shehata+.
+ Default captain.

Record So Far: 1 Win, 1 Loss Played So Far: E M-T Lau, C Liu, W Y-J Lin (2), T-T Tan (2)

An exclusive team type consisting wholly of players with an Oriental Asian background, all of whom are assumed to have a surname consisting of a maximum of one syllable and four letters. Additionally, the majority (defined in this case as 50% or more) of players in any single One Nation squad must also have a non-surname of foreign origin that nominally contains two unpronouncible* hypenated single syllables. Any member who has dyed their hair any colour besides dark black, or has styled their hair in extremist fashion (not straight) will have their membership provisionally revoked and participation in One Nation denied until the problem is rectified. Such a problem, however, may be outweighed by the satisfaction of any two of the following conditions:

owning and carrying a mobile telephone,
wearing predominantly only black and white attire,
fluently speaking any Oriental Asian language,
wearing spectacles or contact lenses,
finishing all clauses, phrases and sentences with a 'la' particle,
wearing DKNY or CK clothing.

It is solely up to the discretion of other accepted One Nation members whether such 'B-grade' membership permission will be granted or refused. No other individual may influence such a decision in One Nation, unless they have red hair, have prehumously recorded a death tape, and have been an independent member for the Federal seat of Oxley.
* i.e. Please explain.
Members: V Y-C Ding, T C-E Koh, D Lau, E M-T Lau, W Y-J Lin, C Liu, K H-K Ng, T-T Tan.

Record So Far: 1 Loss Played So Far: A M Korbel, S M Qadri, E L Squires

A chiefly racially determined group. The group must contain at least one player with heritage in Western Europe, one in the Indian subcontinent, and one in Oriental Asia. The only substitutions allowed are any indigeneous race (including Aboriginals and Torres Strait Islanders, Maoris, American Indians, Inuit, Polynesians, Micronesians, Melanesians), those with any African heritage (including Egypt) and Slavs. Preferably, any Hybrid team should also possess a diverse as possible lineup in terms of cricketing ability (batting, bowling, fielding), physical attributes (height, weight, fat percentage, co-ordination, etc.) and miscellaneous features, such as hairstyle, musical taste and appetite.

Record So Far: 1 Win, 1 Loss Played So Far: T C-E Koh, M Novakovic, S M Qadri (2), N M Shehata, T-T Tan

Clearly a batting lineup, any side bearing this team name must not have a dedicated bowler, although it may contain any all-rounder, including specialist tail-enders and any debutants. At least one team member must average above 5.00 up until the commencement of play (currently A M Korbel, S M Qadri, N M Shehata, T-T Tan and E M-T Lau). The Sloggers is a low priority affliation, and any prospective lineup that could be classified under The Bones Boys, The Yobs, The Penetrators or One Nation must be so registered.
Non-Members: V Y-C Ding, W Y-J Lin, C Liu.

Tools Record So Far: 2 Wins Played So Far: T C-E Koh, A M Korbel, E M-T Lau (2), W Y-J Lin, S M Qadri

One of the newest additions to the Super 4s teams, this team's correct name is 'Tools' as opposed to 'The Tools'. E M-T Lau always captains Tools and although membership criteria have not yet been specified, Tools are an example of the new breed of teams with a permanently designated leader.
Team Name Creator: E M-T Lau+.
+ Default captain.

The Dodgey Dealers Record So Far: 1 Loss Played So Far: E M-T Lau, S M Qadri, T-T Tan

With the wilting influence of One Nation as a result of the non-participation of Jason Yeo, Charles Liu and the influential Tommy Koh, Teng-Tjun Tan single-handedly set out to found to his own new team to champion the strengths and guidelines by which he has lived. The Dodgey Dealers represent such ideals through programs such as ongoing support for $5 auto spare parts and funding to keep independent petrol stations and attached 'diner' vans away from government health inspections. They are one of the few Super 4s teams to boast corporate sponsorship - that of the fast-food colossus Kentucky Fried Chicken, which secured the deal just ahead of the makers of Brille cream. However rumour has it that after seeing the Dodgey Dealers captain in person, KFC tried to break out of the sponsorship contract and this was the reason why the sponsor team shirts do not include any KFC advertising whatsoever. Obviously 'Tengers' must play as captain.
Team Name Creator: T-T Tan+.
+ Default captain.