The List
3x05
"TO DO
1. Get reincarnated
2. Stop by Maggot Warehouse
3. Put guy's head in paint can..."
First off, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that this is a night of "The" episodes. I just watched The Walk, but was too lazy to write a review for it. It's not like I had a choice in the matter, really. My cat was perched on top of me and wouldn't move if he had to. Victor is a nice kitty, though. It's just when I think my lungs are going to be impacted that I force him off of me.
This is kind of a boring episode. At least, I always thought that. I mean, it's good at grossing out those weaklings who try to impress you with their desensitization of violence [desensitization...is that even a word?... I just looked it up in my dictionary. It is! HA! Victory is mine!!!!], but then you see them blinking back the horror when they see stuff like maggots crawling over a decapitated head. They must be foreigners.
Oh! Ha! I love that line! Mulder just asked this convict guy what form Neech was reincarnated as. The guy says "You, me, this mattress. He didn't specify." I just love saying things like that. I like speaking of the "specificity" of something. It makes you sound impressive...try it sometime.
Is it just me or does it seem like a flashback to Silence of the Lambs [which is a really dumb movie, if you ask me] when Scully is walking down the row of cells into the darkness. At least no one flicked anything on her!
Alright, we're entering a lull in the episode-oh, nevermind, there we go. A guy's head just popped up in a paint can and more of the maggots. Lovely. I doubt you can buy that color from Sherwinn-Williams.
Anyway, has anyone else tried this really awesome drink called Clearly Canadian? It's "A sparkling water beverage with natural fruit flavor." [you have to read that in your most posh voice, too...it's printed that you have to on the label] Alright, on the ingredients list it says "Natural spring water from Canada," as opposed to synthetic spring water from...saaaay...Ireland?
You know, I've never realized how boring this episode can be. I mean, I'm entertaining myself by writing this witty and charming commentary, but how did you get through watching this episode without me? I mean, really, it's DULL! I swear, I so should be paid for providing you my services. What would you do without me? HA! Maybe I should record these, so you can listen to Victoria saying these, since I mean, if you read it the wrong way, I'm going to sound like a total snob.
Oh, gee, way to make poor cops look even worse than the media already does. "Police brutality! Where's my camera!? Call Al Pacino! ATTICA! ATTICA!" Seriously, I mean, does no one notice how many BAD people the cops get off the streets?
Ok, little message for the warden of the prison, beating that guy to death isn't going to take you off THE LIST. It's not like you can substitute one guy for another. You're not BAKING!
Ooo! They're ordering a lock-down! They have those at my school! What does that tell you about good ol' MC? Yes, the school is turning into a prison! It's like in Meet The Parents. Hee hee! "You can't say 'bomb' on an airplane!" Where are the maggots when you need them?!
Okay, the ending of this episode is sort of neat, although, really, like we didn't already know it would happen? Anyway, there are better episodes to watch out there...so skip this one unless you are desperate for MAGGOTS!!! *YAYYYYY!*
"When
two Englishmen meet, their first talk is of the weather."
-Samuel Johnson-